Midwest TMS'ers General Communication Thread
11/30/09, 06:13 PM
#9143
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said,
'Jesus knows you're here.'
The burglar nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.
When he heard nothing more , he shook his head and continued. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard
'Jesus is watching you.'
Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. His flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot
.
'Yep', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he is watching you.'
The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'
'Moses,' replied the bird.
'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'
'The kind of people that would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'
/
/
/
/
/
Last edited by GottaHaveIt; 11/30/09 at 06:14 PM.
11/30/09, 11:26 PM
#9146
Mach 1 Member
Reason you shouldn't honk at old people when they are crossing the road:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mr8KrF8vNPM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mr8KrF8vNPM
Cody.....cover your eyes!!
[/quo
12/1/09, 02:34 PM
#9151
Legacy TMS Member
Join Date: January 9, 2005
Location: New Carlisle, Ohio (20 miles north of Dayton)
Posts: 6,982
Likes: 0
Received 6 Likes
on
6 Posts
Oh hell....this is gettin better everyday!!
Jaimee Grubbs: Will the Real Tiger Woods' Mistress Please Stand Up
December 01, 2009 03:19 PM EST
views: 165 | rating: 10/10 (1 vote) | comments: 2
Looks like Tiger Woods is in even more trouble then he's already tried to cover up. His REAL mistress has come forward and announced to the world that she's been having an affair with him, and it's not Rachel Uchitel. That's right, Jaimee Grubbs, a cocktail waitress from Los Angeles, has told Us Weekly that she's had a long-term affair with Woods and has voicemail and over 300 text messages to prove it! Grubbs claims she also has photos of their affair and that they've had over 20 sexual encounters.
You may recognize Grubbs from her brief appearance on VH1's Tool Academy. But in case you don't remember her you'll be sure to see her plastered all across news stands starting tomorrow when Us Weekly releases its issue with her on the cover. The issue will include much more information on the affair so if you're interested be sure to pick one up. Meanwhile, Rachel Uchitel is claiming that she never had an affair with Woods but that her friend only leaked that story to the press to get back at her. Hmm...nice friend.
Jaimee Grubbs: Will the Real Tiger Woods' Mistress Please Stand Up
December 01, 2009 03:19 PM EST
views: 165 | rating: 10/10 (1 vote) | comments: 2
Looks like Tiger Woods is in even more trouble then he's already tried to cover up. His REAL mistress has come forward and announced to the world that she's been having an affair with him, and it's not Rachel Uchitel. That's right, Jaimee Grubbs, a cocktail waitress from Los Angeles, has told Us Weekly that she's had a long-term affair with Woods and has voicemail and over 300 text messages to prove it! Grubbs claims she also has photos of their affair and that they've had over 20 sexual encounters.You may recognize Grubbs from her brief appearance on VH1's Tool Academy. But in case you don't remember her you'll be sure to see her plastered all across news stands starting tomorrow when Us Weekly releases its issue with her on the cover. The issue will include much more information on the affair so if you're interested be sure to pick one up. Meanwhile, Rachel Uchitel is claiming that she never had an affair with Woods but that her friend only leaked that story to the press to get back at her. Hmm...nice friend.
12/1/09, 04:10 PM
#9152
Legacy TMS Member
Join Date: January 9, 2005
Location: New Carlisle, Ohio (20 miles north of Dayton)
Posts: 6,982
Likes: 0
Received 6 Likes
on
6 Posts
My favorite Latin Hottie.....Hey Tom can Toolband move like this????????
http://www.muvids.com/shakira_videos/hips_dont_lie.html
Close your eyes again Cody!!!!!!!!
http://www.muvids.com/shakira_videos/hips_dont_lie.html
Close your eyes again Cody!!!!!!!!
Last edited by 70MACH1OWNER; 12/1/09 at 04:25 PM.
12/1/09, 09:37 PM
#9154
OK Scott. I saw this and had to post it here so you would see it. Taiwanese news FTMFW! 
You have to watch the whole thing. I laughed my *** off.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7i5FlC1MpkE
You have to watch the whole thing. I laughed my *** off.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7i5FlC1MpkE
12/1/09, 11:32 PM
#9155
Legacy TMS Member
Join Date: January 9, 2005
Location: New Carlisle, Ohio (20 miles north of Dayton)
Posts: 6,982
Likes: 0
Received 6 Likes
on
6 Posts
Ha Ha Ha.....Gary. That's probably how it really went down. But they used a minivan in the clip. I can't even imagine the **** storm that is going on in his life right now.
I can't even imagine the **** storm that is going on in his life right now.
