When my kids ***** about what we are having for dinner I usually end up saying "You'll get nothing and like it!"

 

" I smell varmint poontang. And the only good varmint poontang is dead varmint poontang, I think. "

Carl Spackler

 

I use that line almost daily. Lol

If we kill all the golfers, they're gonna lock me up and throw away the key.

 

"Name one park that ball wouldn't have been out of?"

"Yellowstone"

Major league

 

Certainly not new Yankee stadium...that place is a joke....


Frankly my dear I don't give a ****..

 

"Hey, I hope you don't mind, I got up a little early, so I took the liberty of milking your cow for you. Yeah, it took a little while to get her warmed up, she sure is a stubborn one. Then, POW, all at once."

"We don't have a cow. We have a bull."


Kingpin

 

HAHAHAHAH nice!!!!

 

That's the fact Jack!


Stripes

 

No, we're not homosexual, but we are *willing to learn*.

Stripes

 

Chicks dig me because I rarely wear underwear and when I do its usually something unusual

Stripes

 

" Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory... lasts forever."


Shane Falco

The Replacements

 

Shane Falco: I want the ball.
Jimmy McGinty: Winners always do.


The Replacements

 

I reckon if I had a million dollars I could hook something like that up. Cause chicks dig dudes with money.
Not all chicks.
Well the type of chicks that will double up on a dude like me do.

 

Do or do not, there is no try.

Yoda, Ep. 3

 

I'm thinking I might take that new chick from Logistics. If things go well I might be showing her my O-face. "Oh... Oh... Oh!" You know what I'm talkin' about. "Oh!"


Office Space

 

"Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately."

"I wouldn't say I've been *missing* it, Bob."


Office Space

 

Excuse me. I believe that you have my stapler.

 

Peter Gibbons: Let me ask you something. When you come in on Monday and you're not feeling real well, does anyone ever say to you, "Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays?"
Lawrence: No. No, man. ****, no, man. I believe you'd get your *** kicked sayin' something like that, man.

 

Samir naga
naga
nagunna work here any more.

 

"PC Load Letter! What the **** does that mean?!?"