In the (whack) news... post 'em if you got 'em
Cabbage is so submissive. They probably "toss it" when they get home!

http://www.nbcbayarea.com/news/natio...lowFB_BAYBrand
Fla. Man Falls Into Wood Chipper, Dies
A man fell into a wood chipper and was killed Monday in Davie in an accident people at the scene called "horrifying." A worker landscaping all day near Southwest 57th Street and Pine Island Drive in Davie fell into the teeth of his wood chipper.
On Tuesday, Davie Police identified the man as 42-year-old Hernan Gutierrez of Hallandale Beach (photo below).
Gutierrez's whole body was pulled in through the wood chipper, and the aftermath took a toll on residents and law enforcement.
“I didn’t know what to do, and then a few minutes later, I hear all these sirens,” resident Joseph Horta told NBC 6's Jamie Guirola. “It was a little bit horrifying.”
“This isn’t something you see every day,” said Davie Police Captain Dale Engle. “It’s not something you can just go home and forget about.”
The man was dead when rescue workers arrived, and Davie Police had to delicately clean the scene and collect the victim's remains.
“I’ve never seen anything like this,” Captain Engle said. “This is a gruesome scene.”
One of the workers with the victim said he knew Gutierrez but declined to talk about the accident. Police believe the man's death was the result of a work accident. OSHA was also brought to the scene of the accident and promised more information later.
According to OSHA, from 2000 to 2013, there were 11 wood chipper deaths in the United States, none of them in the state of Florida.
“I think it’s sad, very sad,” said resident Linda Simmons. “Guys were working really hard trying to make a living, and he just made a mistake, I guess.”
Fla. Man Falls Into Wood Chipper, Dies
A man fell into a wood chipper and was killed Monday in Davie in an accident people at the scene called "horrifying." A worker landscaping all day near Southwest 57th Street and Pine Island Drive in Davie fell into the teeth of his wood chipper.
On Tuesday, Davie Police identified the man as 42-year-old Hernan Gutierrez of Hallandale Beach (photo below).
Gutierrez's whole body was pulled in through the wood chipper, and the aftermath took a toll on residents and law enforcement.
“I didn’t know what to do, and then a few minutes later, I hear all these sirens,” resident Joseph Horta told NBC 6's Jamie Guirola. “It was a little bit horrifying.”
“This isn’t something you see every day,” said Davie Police Captain Dale Engle. “It’s not something you can just go home and forget about.”
The man was dead when rescue workers arrived, and Davie Police had to delicately clean the scene and collect the victim's remains.
“I’ve never seen anything like this,” Captain Engle said. “This is a gruesome scene.”
One of the workers with the victim said he knew Gutierrez but declined to talk about the accident. Police believe the man's death was the result of a work accident. OSHA was also brought to the scene of the accident and promised more information later.
According to OSHA, from 2000 to 2013, there were 11 wood chipper deaths in the United States, none of them in the state of Florida.
“I think it’s sad, very sad,” said resident Linda Simmons. “Guys were working really hard trying to make a living, and he just made a mistake, I guess.”
Last edited by laserred38; Jun 25, 2014 at 12:32 PM.


http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local/T...264460201.html
Teen Killed Grandmother at Nudist Community, Drove Body Around: Police
A Florida teenager killed his grandmother in a bloody struggle inside her home at a nudist community and then drove around with her body in a minivan for nearly five hours, authorities said.
Brandon Machetto, 18, had been living with his grandmother, 74-year-old Sylvia Schmitt, for the past several weeks and they apparently fought frequently, said Pasco County sheriff's spokeswoman Melanie Snow.
A neighbor called authorities after seeing Machetto drag a wrapped bag with feet dangling out into his grandmother's minivan early Monday, police said.
Pasco County deputies issued a Silver Alert on Monday for Schmitt following the neighbor's phone call, according to NBC affiliate WFLA.
Machetto drove around with his grandmother's body in the back and when deputies tried to pull him over, he refused, police said. He eventually drove back to the Paradise Lakes community and was arrested.
Investigators told WFLA there was blood and signs of a struggle inside Schmitt's home.
Machetto was charged with first-degree murder and is being held in jail without bond. It's unclear if he has an attorney.
Ronnie Hall, Machetto's martial arts instructor for seven years, said Machetto nearly died a few years ago when he was attacked by a group of teens who hit him in the back of the head with a rock, the Tampa Bay Times reported. Hall said Machetto suffered a brain injury, and that he was not aggressive.
Machetto and his grandmother apparently fought as she tried to get her grandson to take his medication. Deputies said Machetto had been accused of domestic violence against Schmitt in 2012, but she dropped the charge.
"It is obvious the grandmother was truly caring for her grandson," Pasco County Sheriff Chris Nocco told WFLA. "That domestic violence case several years ago, I believe she dropped the charges, she didn't want to pursue it any further. It was obvious she was somebody who really cared and wanted to give a helping hand."
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Flargo?
No wonder he snapped, can you imagine having to watch a 74 year old woman walk around naked all day?
No wonder he snapped, can you imagine having to watch a 74 year old woman walk around naked all day?
What is it with Florida lately?
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...hroom-him.html
And what a looker she is....

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...hroom-him.html
An elementary school teacher from Florida was arrested after police say they discovered nude photos of her on a cell phone belonging to a 17-year-old boy.
Lesley Brown, 45, a married mother from Largo, Florida, was caught entering a unisex bathroom inside the Highland Recreation Center with a teenage boy Monday, according to police.
Lesley Brown, 45, a married mother from Largo, Florida, was caught entering a unisex bathroom inside the Highland Recreation Center with a teenage boy Monday, according to police.
And what a looker she is....

What is it with Florida lately? http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...hroom-him.html And what a looker she is....
This has to be one of the best whack news stories ever. It took 22 firemen, some forceps and a gallon of KY to rescue this lug.
I don't know if I should say OMG or LOL? Click the link for a pic.
http://www.nbcconnecticut.com/news/n...FlowFB_CTBrand
Dead Body Falls Out of Coroner's Van Onto Road
Drivers traveling on a busy Bucks County, Pennsylvania, road on Friday had to navigate an unusual obstruction -- a gurney carrying a corpse.
A Bucks County Coroner's Office van was traveling down the 100 block of E. Street Road in Lower Southampton, Pennsylvania, around noon when the vehicle's rear door malfunctioned, the coroner's office confirms. The body then rolled out of the van and onto the road near the Bucks Crossing Shopping Center.
A photo from the scene shows the body, wrapped in a sheet, sheet sitting in the middle of the street as cars passed.
County officials say the coroner employee driving the van realized what had occurred immediately and circled back to the scene.
A bystander helped the driver remove the body from the road, according to Levittown.
"The Bucks County Coroner’s Office deeply regrets this incident and will take steps to ensure that it is not repeated in the future,” a county news release said.
An investigation into the incident is underway.
http://www.nbcconnecticut.com/news/n...FlowFB_CTBrand
Dead Body Falls Out of Coroner's Van Onto Road
Drivers traveling on a busy Bucks County, Pennsylvania, road on Friday had to navigate an unusual obstruction -- a gurney carrying a corpse.
A Bucks County Coroner's Office van was traveling down the 100 block of E. Street Road in Lower Southampton, Pennsylvania, around noon when the vehicle's rear door malfunctioned, the coroner's office confirms. The body then rolled out of the van and onto the road near the Bucks Crossing Shopping Center.
A photo from the scene shows the body, wrapped in a sheet, sheet sitting in the middle of the street as cars passed.
County officials say the coroner employee driving the van realized what had occurred immediately and circled back to the scene.
A bystander helped the driver remove the body from the road, according to Levittown.
"The Bucks County Coroner’s Office deeply regrets this incident and will take steps to ensure that it is not repeated in the future,” a county news release said.
An investigation into the incident is underway.
Canton Police Find Grenade Near Body
Canton Police Find Grenade Near Body
CANTON - Officers investigating the death of a local man discovered a grenade near his body Monday, promoting the partial evacuation of residents from a condominium complex, police said.
Officers who responded to 462 Down Ave. about 11:30 a.m. found the body of Kent Sears after receiving a call for an unresponsive person in need of medical attention, police said. While in the home, police said they found a grenade near Sears' body.
Some residents were evacuated from the condominium complex Sears lived in, police said, as the State Police bomb squad responded to the scene.
The bomb squad safely removed the grenade. Police said that it was not a training grenade and may have been live at some point.
Officers on scene determined that Sears had been dead for some time before their arrival, police said.
Police said the grenade, which hadn't exploded, was not involved in Sears death. Police said the office of the chief medical examiner is determining the cause of death in the incident.
Copyright © 2014, The Hartford Courant
http://www.courant.com/community/can...,5553244.story
CANTON - Officers investigating the death of a local man discovered a grenade near his body Monday, promoting the partial evacuation of residents from a condominium complex, police said.
Officers who responded to 462 Down Ave. about 11:30 a.m. found the body of Kent Sears after receiving a call for an unresponsive person in need of medical attention, police said. While in the home, police said they found a grenade near Sears' body.
Some residents were evacuated from the condominium complex Sears lived in, police said, as the State Police bomb squad responded to the scene.
The bomb squad safely removed the grenade. Police said that it was not a training grenade and may have been live at some point.
Officers on scene determined that Sears had been dead for some time before their arrival, police said.
Police said the grenade, which hadn't exploded, was not involved in Sears death. Police said the office of the chief medical examiner is determining the cause of death in the incident.
Copyright © 2014, The Hartford Courant
http://www.courant.com/community/can...,5553244.story
US sends 14,000 draft notices to men born in 1800s
No, the United States isn't trying to build a military force of centenarians.
It just seems that way after the Selective Service System mistakenly sent notices to more than 14,000 Pennsylvania men born between 1893 and 1897, ordering them to register for the nation's military draft and warning that failure to do so is "punishable by a fine and imprisonment."
The agency realized the error when it began receiving calls from bewildered relatives last week.
Chuck Huey, 73, of Kingston, said he got a notice addressed to his late grandfather Bert Huey, a World War I veteran who was born in 1894 and died in 1995 at age 100.
"I said, `Geez, what the hell is this about?' It said he was subject to heavy fines and imprisonment if he didn't sign up for the draft board," he said. "We were just totally dumbfounded."
Huey said he tried calling the Selective Service but couldn't get a live person on the line. That frustrated him even more because he wanted to make sure the agency knew there had been a mistake.
"You just never know. You don't want to mess around with the federal government," he said.
The glitch, it turns out, originated with the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation during a transfer of nearly 400,000 records to the Selective Service. A clerk working with the state's database failed to select the century, producing records for males born between 1993 and 1997 - and for those born a century earlier, PennDOT spokeswoman Jan McKnight said Thursday.
"We made a mistake, a quite serious selection error," McNight said.
The Selective Service didn't initially catch it because the state used a two-digit code to indicate year of birth, spokesman Pat Schuback said. The federal agency identified 27,218 records of men born in the 1800s, began mailing notices to them on June 30, and began receiving calls from family members on July 3. By that time, it had sent 14,250 notices in error.
"It's never happened before," Schuback said.
The men are almost certainly all dead, given that the youngest would be turning 117 this year. Families of those men who received the notices can simply ignore them, he said. Their files will be deactivated and they shouldn't receive additional communications from the Selective Service. The agency also posted a notice and an apology on its website Thursday.
The state Transportation Department, meanwhile, said it had taken steps to ensure its mistake won't be repeated.
"We're really sorry," McNight said. "We apologize."
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014/07/11...ntcmp=obinsite
It just seems that way after the Selective Service System mistakenly sent notices to more than 14,000 Pennsylvania men born between 1893 and 1897, ordering them to register for the nation's military draft and warning that failure to do so is "punishable by a fine and imprisonment."
The agency realized the error when it began receiving calls from bewildered relatives last week.
Chuck Huey, 73, of Kingston, said he got a notice addressed to his late grandfather Bert Huey, a World War I veteran who was born in 1894 and died in 1995 at age 100.
"I said, `Geez, what the hell is this about?' It said he was subject to heavy fines and imprisonment if he didn't sign up for the draft board," he said. "We were just totally dumbfounded."
Huey said he tried calling the Selective Service but couldn't get a live person on the line. That frustrated him even more because he wanted to make sure the agency knew there had been a mistake.
"You just never know. You don't want to mess around with the federal government," he said.
The glitch, it turns out, originated with the Pennsylvania Department of Transportation during a transfer of nearly 400,000 records to the Selective Service. A clerk working with the state's database failed to select the century, producing records for males born between 1993 and 1997 - and for those born a century earlier, PennDOT spokeswoman Jan McKnight said Thursday.
"We made a mistake, a quite serious selection error," McNight said.
The Selective Service didn't initially catch it because the state used a two-digit code to indicate year of birth, spokesman Pat Schuback said. The federal agency identified 27,218 records of men born in the 1800s, began mailing notices to them on June 30, and began receiving calls from family members on July 3. By that time, it had sent 14,250 notices in error.
"It's never happened before," Schuback said.
The men are almost certainly all dead, given that the youngest would be turning 117 this year. Families of those men who received the notices can simply ignore them, he said. Their files will be deactivated and they shouldn't receive additional communications from the Selective Service. The agency also posted a notice and an apology on its website Thursday.
The state Transportation Department, meanwhile, said it had taken steps to ensure its mistake won't be repeated.
"We're really sorry," McNight said. "We apologize."
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2014/07/11...ntcmp=obinsite
Last edited by wheelman; Jul 16, 2014 at 10:08 AM.
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Joined: December 14, 2007
Posts: 19,953
Likes: 4
From: State of Jefferson Mountains USA

Darwin Awards 2014
Nominee No. 1: [ San Jose Mercury News]:
An unidentified man, using a shotgun like a club to break a former girlfriends windshield, accidentally shot himself to death when the gun discharged, blowing a hole in his gut.
Nominee No. 2: [Kalamazoo Gazette]:
James Burns, 34, (a mechanic) of Alamo, MI, was killed in March as he was trying to repair what police describe as a "farm-type truck." Burns got a friend to drive the truck on a highway while Burns hung underneath so that he could ascertain the source of a troubling noise. Burns' clothes caught on something, however, and the other man found Burns "wrapped in the drive shaft."
Nominee No. 3: [Hickory Daily Record]:
Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in December in Newton, NC. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed instead a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he drew it to his ear.
Nominee No. 4: [UPI, Toronto ]:
Police said a lawyer demonstrating the safety of windows in a downtown Toronto skyscraper crashed through a pane with his shoulder and plunged 24 floors to his death.? A police spokesman said Garry Hoy, 39, fell into the courtyard of the Toronto Dominion Bank Tower early Friday evening as he was explaining the strength of the buildings windows to visiting law students. Hoy previously has conducted demonstrations of window strength according to police reports. Peter Lawson, managing partner of the firm Holden Day Wilson, told the Toronto Sun newspaper that Hoy was "one of the best and brightest" members of the 200-man association. A person has to wonder what the dimmer members of this law firm are like.
Nominee No. 5: [The News of the Weird]:
Michael Anderson Godwin had spent several years awaiting South Carolina's electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. While sitting on a metal toilet in his cell attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.
Nominee No. 6: [The Indianapolis Star]:
A Dunkirk, IN man, using a cigarette lighter to check the barrel of a muzzleloader, was killed Monday night when the weapon discharged in his face, sheriff's investigators said. Gregory David Pryor, 19, died in his parents' rural Dunkirk home at about 11:30 PM. Investigators said Pryor was cleaning a 54 caliber muzzle-loader that had not been firing properly. He was using the lighter to look into the barrel when the gunpowder ignited.
Nominee No. 7: [Reuters, Mississauga, Ontario]:
A man cleaning a bird feeder on the balcony of his condominium apartment in this Toronto suburb slipped and fell 23 stories to his death. "Stefan Macko, 55, was standing on a wheelchair when the accident occurred," said Inspector Darcy Honer of the Peel Regional Police. "It appears that the chair moved, and he went over the balcony," Honer said. (Really?)
Finally, THE WINNER!!!: [ Arkansas Democrat Gazette]:
Two local men were injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday. Woodruff County deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday. Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc, and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock, were returning to Des Arc after a frog-catching trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pickup truck headlights malfunctioned.
The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older-model truck had burned out. As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the ..22 caliber bullets from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering-wheel column. Upon inserting the bullet the headlights again began to operate properly, and the two men proceeded on eastbound toward the White River Bridge.
After traveling approximately 20 miles, and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the *********. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exited the pavement, and struck a tree. Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident but will require extensive surgery to repair the damage to his *********, which will never operate as intended.
Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his ***** off, or we might be dead," stated Wallis
"I've been a trooper for 10 years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened," said Snyder.
Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia Poole (Poole's wife) asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck?
Though Poole and Wallis did not die as a result of their misadventure as normally required by Darwin Award Official Rules, it can be argued that Poole did in fact effectively remove himself from the gene pool.
My turn...
http://empirenews.net/body-found-und...there-5-years/
Body Found Under Motel Bed, Police Say It Has Been There At Least 5 Years
MOUNT LAUREL, New Jersey -
Stunning news this morning out of New Jersey, as reports of police discovering the body of a young woman under a motel bed have been confirmed. The owners of the motel asked that their name and location be omitted from news reports to protect their business.
The body, which has yet to be identified, was found by a person staying in the room.
“I dropped the television remote, and when I went to check under the bed I found her. It was like something out of a scary movie,” said Aaron Silver, the man staying in the room.
According to initial reports by the medical examiner on-scene, it appears as though the body lay undisturbed in the room for about 5 years. There was a normal amount of rot and decay on the body to suggest that it had not been moved or touched over the course of that time.
The motel has not made a comment about the issue but have told police that they are constantly cleaning their rooms and have no idea how this could have slipped beneath the cracks.
“I clean that room every day. I noticed a smell several times, and told my manager,” said Anita Rodriguez, a housekeeper at the motel. “He told me to just use extra Febreeze in the room and it would go away eventually. I always hated cleaning that room.”
Motel representatives say that all their rooms are cleaned daily, but that it is not the policy of the company to make their housekeepers check under the beds.
“They do a heavy clean of the rooms to sanitize for guests, but when it comes to under the beds, they just run the vacuum around the edges. Who really looks under the bed, anyway? No reason to waste anyone’s time,” said Charles Dyson, a representative of the motel chain.
“It’s the most bizarre thing I’ve ever seen,” said police chief Joe Goldsmith. “I’ve seen a lot of strange things in my time on the force, but to think about all the people who’ve stayed in this room, with a dead body beneath them, and they didn’t know about it? It gives me the heebie-jeebies.”
Police have seized room and occupant records for the last several years, and are trying to trace the person or persons who may have stayed in the room around the time of death.
“Funny thing is, the records also show literally almost 1,000 complaints from people who stayed in the room over the years. Everything from a bad smell to an ‘eerie feeling.’ Several people even asked to switch rooms in the middle of the night,” said Goldsmith. “The motel really should have checked out that room a little more closely.”
The body of the young woman is set for autopsy at the end of the week.
MOUNT LAUREL, New Jersey -
Stunning news this morning out of New Jersey, as reports of police discovering the body of a young woman under a motel bed have been confirmed. The owners of the motel asked that their name and location be omitted from news reports to protect their business.
The body, which has yet to be identified, was found by a person staying in the room.
“I dropped the television remote, and when I went to check under the bed I found her. It was like something out of a scary movie,” said Aaron Silver, the man staying in the room.
According to initial reports by the medical examiner on-scene, it appears as though the body lay undisturbed in the room for about 5 years. There was a normal amount of rot and decay on the body to suggest that it had not been moved or touched over the course of that time.
The motel has not made a comment about the issue but have told police that they are constantly cleaning their rooms and have no idea how this could have slipped beneath the cracks.
“I clean that room every day. I noticed a smell several times, and told my manager,” said Anita Rodriguez, a housekeeper at the motel. “He told me to just use extra Febreeze in the room and it would go away eventually. I always hated cleaning that room.”
Motel representatives say that all their rooms are cleaned daily, but that it is not the policy of the company to make their housekeepers check under the beds.
“They do a heavy clean of the rooms to sanitize for guests, but when it comes to under the beds, they just run the vacuum around the edges. Who really looks under the bed, anyway? No reason to waste anyone’s time,” said Charles Dyson, a representative of the motel chain.
“It’s the most bizarre thing I’ve ever seen,” said police chief Joe Goldsmith. “I’ve seen a lot of strange things in my time on the force, but to think about all the people who’ve stayed in this room, with a dead body beneath them, and they didn’t know about it? It gives me the heebie-jeebies.”
Police have seized room and occupant records for the last several years, and are trying to trace the person or persons who may have stayed in the room around the time of death.
“Funny thing is, the records also show literally almost 1,000 complaints from people who stayed in the room over the years. Everything from a bad smell to an ‘eerie feeling.’ Several people even asked to switch rooms in the middle of the night,” said Goldsmith. “The motel really should have checked out that room a little more closely.”
The body of the young woman is set for autopsy at the end of the week.
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Joined: December 14, 2007
Posts: 19,953
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From: State of Jefferson Mountains USA

Liberia: Dead Ebola Patients Resurrect?
24 September 2014
By Franklin Doloquee
Two Ebola patients, who died of the virus in separate communities in Nimba County have reportedly resurrected in the county. The victims, both females, believed to be in their 60s and 40s respectively, died of the Ebola virus recently in Hope Village Community and the Catholic Community in Ganta, Nimba.
But to the amazement of residents and onlookers on Monday, the deceased reportedly regained life in total disbelief. The NewDawn Nimba County correspondent said the late Dorris Quoi of Hope Village Community and the second victim only identified as Ma Kebeh, said to be in her late 60s, were about to be taken for burial when they resurrected.
Ma Kebeh had reportedly been in door for two nights without food and medication before her alleged death. Nimba County has had bazaar news of Ebola cases with a native doctor from the county, who claimed that he could cure infected victims, dying of the virus himself last week.
News of the resurrection of the two victims has reportedly created panic in residents of Hope Village Community and Ganta at large, with some citizens describing Dorris Quoi as a ghost, who shouldn't live among them. Since the Ebola outbreak in Nimba County, this is the first incident of dead victims resurrecting.
http://allafrica.com/stories/201409240829.html

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Whole freakin' world has gone crazy. What a nutbag. 
Naked man accused of raping neighbor’s pit bull: ‘ISIS sent me’
http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/...-dog-isis-sen/

Naked man accused of raping neighbor’s pit bull: ‘ISIS sent me’
http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/...-dog-isis-sen/
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Man cleared of owning 'extreme ****' after tiger in sex video revealed to be man in costume
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/worl...icle-1.1989701
But his case was finally dropped in December 2009 after investigators realized that the tiger in the footage was actually a man wearing a costume. They discovered their embarrassing mistake after listening to the clip again — and hearing the man echoing Frosted Flakes’ mascot Tony the Tiger's famous catchphrase, “They're grrrrrreat!"


Man cleared of owning 'extreme ****' after tiger in sex video revealed to be man in costume http://www.nydailynews.com/news/worl...icle-1.1989701 
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From: Just outside the middle of nowhere

Florida woman ‘needed to be free from the demons,’ kills ex-boyfriend because he placed curse on her: police
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crim...icle-1.2009657
This line cracked me up...
"Authorities did not identify what type of curse Lopez believed was placed on her."
Really?


