Who has most posts? Gary! Winning!
7/30/08, 06:38 PM
#793
Legacy TMS Member
The passengers on a small plane are a quite surprised when the pilots arrive.
The pilots walk up the aisle, both wearing dark glasses. One has a seeing-eye dog, the other is tapping his way with a white-tipped cane.
The cockpit door closes, the engines start up.
The plane moves faster and faster down the runway. People by the windows realize they're heading right towards the water at the end of the runway.
Panic ensues. Screams fill the air. At that very moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly.
Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot turns to the pilot. "Y'know, Bob," he says. "One day they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die."
The pilots walk up the aisle, both wearing dark glasses. One has a seeing-eye dog, the other is tapping his way with a white-tipped cane.
The cockpit door closes, the engines start up.
The plane moves faster and faster down the runway. People by the windows realize they're heading right towards the water at the end of the runway.
Panic ensues. Screams fill the air. At that very moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly.
Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot turns to the pilot. "Y'know, Bob," he says. "One day they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die."
7/30/08, 06:55 PM
#794
Legacy TMS Member
The passengers on a small plane are a quite surprised when the pilots arrive.
The pilots walk up the aisle, both wearing dark glasses. One has a seeing-eye dog, the other is tapping his way with a white-tipped cane.
The cockpit door closes, the engines start up.
The plane moves faster and faster down the runway. People by the windows realize they're heading right towards the water at the end of the runway.
Panic ensues. Screams fill the air. At that very moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly.
Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot turns to the pilot. "Y'know, Bob," he says. "One day they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die."
The pilots walk up the aisle, both wearing dark glasses. One has a seeing-eye dog, the other is tapping his way with a white-tipped cane.
The cockpit door closes, the engines start up.
The plane moves faster and faster down the runway. People by the windows realize they're heading right towards the water at the end of the runway.
Panic ensues. Screams fill the air. At that very moment, the plane lifts smoothly into the air. The passengers relax and laugh a little sheepishly.
Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot turns to the pilot. "Y'know, Bob," he says. "One day they're going to scream too late, and we're all gonna die."
7/30/08, 08:29 PM
#795
sounds like what my friend Spencer sent today !
TRAIN TICKET
Three women and three men are traveling by train to the football game.
At the station, the three men each buy a ticket and watch as the three
women buy just one ticket
'How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?' asks one of
the men.
'Watch and learn,' answers one of the women.
They all board the train. The three men take their respective seats but
all three women cram into a toilet together and close the door.
Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting
tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, 'Ticket, please.'
The door opens just a crack, and a single arm emerges with a ticket in
hand.
The conductor takes it and moves on.
The men see this happen and agree it was quite a clever idea; so, after the
game, they decide to do the same thing on the return trip and save some
money.
When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip
but see, to their astonishment, that the three women don't buy any ticket
at all!!
'How are you going to travel without a ticket?' asks one perplexed man.
'Watch and learn,' answer the women.
When they board the train, the three men cram themselves into a toilet,
and the three women cram into a toilet just down the way.
Shortly after the train is on its way, one of the women leaves her toilet
and walks over to the toilet in which the men are hiding. She knocks on
their door and says, 'Ticket please.'
I'm still trying to figure out why men think they are smarter than women.
TRAIN TICKET
Three women and three men are traveling by train to the football game.
At the station, the three men each buy a ticket and watch as the three
women buy just one ticket
'How are the three of you going to travel on only one ticket?' asks one of
the men.
'Watch and learn,' answers one of the women.
They all board the train. The three men take their respective seats but
all three women cram into a toilet together and close the door.
Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting
tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, 'Ticket, please.'
The door opens just a crack, and a single arm emerges with a ticket in
hand.
The conductor takes it and moves on.
The men see this happen and agree it was quite a clever idea; so, after the
game, they decide to do the same thing on the return trip and save some
money.
When they get to the station they buy a single ticket for the return trip
but see, to their astonishment, that the three women don't buy any ticket
at all!!
'How are you going to travel without a ticket?' asks one perplexed man.
'Watch and learn,' answer the women.
When they board the train, the three men cram themselves into a toilet,
and the three women cram into a toilet just down the way.
Shortly after the train is on its way, one of the women leaves her toilet
and walks over to the toilet in which the men are hiding. She knocks on
their door and says, 'Ticket please.'
I'm still trying to figure out why men think they are smarter than women.
7/31/08, 03:29 AM
#796
Legacy TMS Member Pr
Pretty good jokes lol
7/31/08, 01:10 PM
#798
Whats sad you guys, April hasnt been on this site since APril 2007 and is still in the top 15 of all-time posters. God had she still been around, we'd all be screwed (and i mean that in multiple terms) 
7/31/08, 01:50 PM
#800
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Join Date: May 13, 2004
Location: Berkeley/Redwood City, CA
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Whats sad you guys, April hasnt been on this site since APril 2007 and is still in the top 15 of all-time posters. God had she still been around, we'd all be screwed (and i mean that in multiple terms)