I do fear that, but I have life insurance policies on all 3 of us now. I'm literally worth more dead than alive...(shhhh don't tell Janny that :P)

 

Most of us are/were in that position!

 

Yep! No one should be in that position. I wish I didn't grow up and establish myself in the city. I truly wish to live in the middle of nowhere, with a small farm/ranch to live off of.

 

I'm going to be cremated because I'm afraid of being buried alive. Seriously, that way I'll know I'm dead before being stuck in the ground. I'm horribly claustrophobic.

My wife will probably fertilize her garden with me. Don't eat anything home-grown from her after I die. You might just end up with a little bit of me inside you.

 

Don't drop the soap in the shower or you just might end up with a little bit of me inside you.

 

Ummm...? :horndogmorekidsonthewaysoon: :-)

 

So this is the 'how you wanna go?' thread now. Cool.

I myself used to be afraid, but now it's "there" and I don't care much. It'll happen when it happens, I suppose.

But I do kinda care what happens afterwards. And as such, I'd like to be put in a bio-degradable box and thrown overboard a boat off the shore of Big Island Hawaii, right over Loihi, the undersea seamount volcano. So that I can be a part of a new island on this Earth, one that should surface above the Pacific in about, oh 30,000 years.

Dunno if that's legal, but hey, 'accidents' happen... Whoops, he slipped from my hands, officer... oh well!

 

Just for that, I'm going to have her boil and puree my tumor and serve it to you in a "fruity beverage." I figure since you like showering with guys, you'd prefer the fruity beverage.

 

You're likely to be fish turds long before that happens, and they'll probably crap you out well away from the volcano.

 

They'll eat my ashes? Interesting.

Oh. Yeah, right. Cremate me first, then in the bio box, THEN toss. My bad.

 

"When I die, I want you to mix my ashes in a bowl of chili from Wendy's, then eat it. Just so I can tear that @ss up one more time!"

 

I wanna do the "Keith Richards" thing. Get cremated and have my future-son do a line of my ashes.

OR

Get cremated, mix my ashes with soil, and use that soil to grow some good cannabis. Then the homies can smoke my ***.

 

Joan rivers RIP. I'll bet she's well preserved from all those procedures.
This is a joke she would be proud of.

 

I've told my wife what my tombstone is to say

"Those pretzels were making HiM thirsty!"

 

Wife already told me she's putting "Hipster Doofus" on my headstone. I told her I'm going to be cremated. She said, "psh, you'll be dead. I'll do whatever the hell I want to with you."

Well then.

 

legally binding contract?