Heard these on the radio today and just had to post them

For anyone flying the friendly sky's this holiday season

Keeping your groin safe since 2010!
Only WE know if Lady Gaga is REALLY a lady!
Wanna fly? Then drop your fly!
We handle more packages than UPS!
We feel you up....so you feel safe!
We keep you safe and enjoy doing so!
Creating Government jobs since 2001!
TSA- Touch Some Anus
TSA - Got Milk… we’ll check!
Let us handle your "package"
Handjobs with every flight
‎We handle more packages than the Postal Service
We helped Gore release his second chakra
‎"Touchin Some ***"
What can TSA do for you. Give us 5 mins you wont leave unhappy.
They Scan Anyone!
Turn you head and Cough!

Touching junk since 2001!
Legally molesting since 2001
We'll get to third base before getting you to your gate.
It's our business to handle your business.
We love to grope and it shows.
TSA- "....And you thought ex sex offenders didn't have an outlet..."
Our way or the highway…literally
TSA- We handle all size cups and packages!
‎"You're in good hands with TSA"
We feel your pain, and your junk!!
TSA - Invading more privacy than the Patriot Act!
TSA - We dont want to get to know you, it just feels that way...
If you have junk in you trunk, we will find it
Fly the REALLY friendly skies!
The TSA - Making the guy with the candy in the van obsolete.
Giving America a hand… in their pants.
TSA: Totalitarian Sexual Assault!
‎"Tough Sh*t, America!"
Is this a cert's in your pocket ?
TSA - Just Assume the Position.
‎"The 4th Amendment doesn't apply to us."
We are the people who mess with your junk
The good hands people!
We "feel" your pain?
We Gotcha By The *****
Let our fingers do the walking.
Is that a bomb between your legs.
Is that a bomb in your pocket?
The Quicker Picker Upper


Mama sang bass Daddy sang tenor TSA.

Reach out and touch someone, everyone!
Do these scans make my *** look big?
There might be a bomb in your trunk, so we have to check your junk.
TSA, over 1 million groped and counting.
Burkas and turbans please go the express lane, all others be your 4th amendment rights.
Don't worry, we're wearing hand condoms!
Fly the fondly skies!
TSA....Remember when you thought taking your shoes off at the Airport was going overboard?
Getting in touch with the inner you.
We Aim To Squeeze.
Blind squirrels try to find some nuts
Foreplay for the Mile High Club

TSA : Sorry, we're all thumbs

TSA: Molesting innocent civilians in the name of justice since 2001

Bend over we need to check your Al-Qaedas

Protecting the Flying Public from Nail Clippers and Cuticle Scissors

 

 

"Don't touch my junk!"

 

I will experience the joy of the occasion in a few days and demand a female contestant for the massage treatment.

Problem solved!

 

You'll love this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhEMRSp7vaY

 

 

I flew in from Denver last night, and geez my *** hurts!