View Poll Results: Do you prefer us lobbing Potatoes or Grenades to take care of spammers?
Lob potatoes to just stun them
2
16.67%
Lob grenades and remove them from the TMS pool permanently
10
83.33%
Voters: 12. You may not vote on this poll
Mustangs Coast to Coast
Calgon Take Me Away!
Originally Posted by AlsCobra
Oh goodness. Starting to post like a Texan.
NTTAWWT
Oil Change instructions for Women :
1. Pull up to Dealership when the mileage reaches 5,000 miles since the last oil change.
2. Relax in the waiting room while enjoying a cup of coffee.
3. 15 minutes later, scan debit card and leave, driving a properly maintained vehicle.
Money spent :
Oil Change:$24.00 with coupon
Coffee: Complementary
TOTAL: $24.00
Oil Change instructions for Men :
1. Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree, and use your debit card for $50.00.
2. Stop to buy a case of beer, (debit $24), drive home.
3. Open a beer and drink it.
4. Jack truck up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.
5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6.. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7. Place drain pan under engine.
8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9. Give up and use crescent wrench.
10. Unscrew drain plug.
11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.
12. Crawl out from under truck to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.
13. Have another beer while watching oil drain.
14. Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.
15. Give up; crawl under truck and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.
16. Crawl out from under truck with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.
17. Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.
18. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
19. Remember drain plug from step 11.
20. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
21. Drink beer.
22. Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor.. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.
23. Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.
24. Crawl under truck getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles and frame.
25. Begin cussing fit.
26. Throw stupid crescent wrench.
27. Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit truck and left dent.
28. Beer.
29. Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.
30. Beer.
31. Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.
32. Beer.
33. Lower truck from jack stands.
34. Move truck back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during any missed steps.
35. Beer.
36. Test drive truck.
37. Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.
38. Truck gets impounded.
39. Call loving wife, make bail.
40. 12 hours later, get truck from impound yard.
Money spent:
Parts: $50.00
DUI: $2,500.00
Impound fee: $75.00
Bail: $1,500.00
Beer: $20.00
TOTAL: $4,145.00
Stubborn Bear
TMS Staff
TMS Staff
Stubborn Bear
TMS Staff
TMS Staff
Idaho. I would have never guessed. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Napoleon_Dynamite
There is no "comma to the top" in yall. It is not a contraction of you all, it is its own word.
Yall is singular.
The plural form of yall is "all yall".
Yall is singular.
The plural form of yall is "all yall".
Calgon Take Me Away!
Learned something today. Don't say it, but now I at least know how to spell it.
So my little one slipped into the garage and put baby SPF lotion all over my fender and hood "I cwean momma car!" OMG... Looks like I'm washing the car in a bit.
So my little one slipped into the garage and put baby SPF lotion all over my fender and hood "I cwean momma car!" OMG... Looks like I'm washing the car in a bit.
GTR Member
Post *****
Thread Starter
Originally Posted by Twin Turbo
WTF? My post was a reply to the post regarding the escaped leopard in India that scalped a fella. How did it end up here??!??!
User error