joke of the day
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Mach 1 Member
Joined: December 13, 2007
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joke of the day
California
The Governor of California is jogging
with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out, bites the Governor and attacks his dog.
1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects
upon the movie "Bambi", then realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing what's natural.
2. He calls Animal Control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 for testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the
dead dog and bills the state $200 for testing it for disease.
4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for disease from the coyote and for getting his bite wound bandaged.
5. The running trail is shut down for 6 months,
while Fish & Game conducts their $100,000 survey to make sure the area is free of dangerous animals.
6. The Governor next spends $50,000 in state funds, implementing a "Coyote Awareness" program for residents of the area.
7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to
study how to better treat rabies and how
to permanently eradicate the disease, throughout
the world.
8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not
somehow stopping the attack and for letting
the Governor attempt to intervene.
9. Additional cost to State of California : $75,000 to hire and train a new security agent with
additional special training re: The Nature of
Coyotes.
10. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files suit against the state.
Arizona
The Governor of Arizona is jogging, with her dog, along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks her dog.
1. The Governor shoots the coyote with her state-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow-point cartridge.
2. Arizona buzzards eat the dead coyote.
And that, my friends, is why California is broke.
The Governor of California is jogging
with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out, bites the Governor and attacks his dog.
1. The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects
upon the movie "Bambi", then realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing what's natural.
2. He calls Animal Control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the state $200 for testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
3. He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the
dead dog and bills the state $200 for testing it for disease.
4. The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for disease from the coyote and for getting his bite wound bandaged.
5. The running trail is shut down for 6 months,
while Fish & Game conducts their $100,000 survey to make sure the area is free of dangerous animals.
6. The Governor next spends $50,000 in state funds, implementing a "Coyote Awareness" program for residents of the area.
7. The State Legislature spends $2 million to
study how to better treat rabies and how
to permanently eradicate the disease, throughout
the world.
8. The Governor's security agent is fired for not
somehow stopping the attack and for letting
the Governor attempt to intervene.
9. Additional cost to State of California : $75,000 to hire and train a new security agent with
additional special training re: The Nature of
Coyotes.
10. PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files suit against the state.
Arizona
The Governor of Arizona is jogging, with her dog, along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks her dog.
1. The Governor shoots the coyote with her state-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow-point cartridge.
2. Arizona buzzards eat the dead coyote.
And that, my friends, is why California is broke.
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A turtle was walking down an alley when he was mugged by several snails. The police officer asked the turtle if he could describe his assailants. The turtle, still in a state of shock, replied, "I don't know...it all happened so fast!" 
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