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7/3/06, 06:55 AM
#5501
After all these years,
My C/T still sucks!
My C/T still sucks!
Join Date: May 5, 2004
Location: Orlando(DP!) Florida
Posts: 7,188
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Whats up you all?
Bob, a lawyer, was driving home over the Golden Gate Bridge after spending a great day out on the ocean fishing. His catch, cleaned and filleted, was wrapped in newspaper on the passenger side floor. He was late getting home and was speeding. Wouldn't you know, a cop jumped out, radar gun in hand, motioned him to the side of the bridge.
Bob pulled over like a good citizen. The cop walked up to the window and said, "You know how fast you were going, BOY?"
Bob thought for a second and said, "Uhh, 60?"
"67 mph, son! 67 mph in a 55 zone!" said the cop.
"But if you already knew officer," replied Bob, "Why did you ask me?"
Fuming over Bob's answer, the officer growled, in his normal sarcastic fashion, "That's speeding, and you're getting a ticket and a fine!"
The cop took a good close look at Bob, in his stained fishing attire and said, "You don't even look like you have a job! Why, I've never seen anyone so scruffy in my entire life!"
Bob answered, "I've got a job! I have a good, well-paying job!"
The cop leaned in the window, smelling Bob's fish catch, said, "What kind of a job would a bum like you have?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher!" replied Bob.
"What you say, BOY?" asked the patrolman.
"I'm a rectum stretcher!"
The cop, scratching his head, asked, "What does a rectum stretcher do?"
Bob explained, "People call me up and say they need to be stretched, so I go over to their house. I start with a couple of fingers, then a couple more, and then one whole hand, then two. Then I slowly pull them farther and farther apart until it's a full six feet across."
The cop, absorbed with these bizarre images in his mind, asked, "What the hell do you do with a six foot a-hole?"
Bob nonchalantly answered, "You give it a radar gun and stick it at the end of a bridge!"
Bob, a lawyer, was driving home over the Golden Gate Bridge after spending a great day out on the ocean fishing. His catch, cleaned and filleted, was wrapped in newspaper on the passenger side floor. He was late getting home and was speeding. Wouldn't you know, a cop jumped out, radar gun in hand, motioned him to the side of the bridge.
Bob pulled over like a good citizen. The cop walked up to the window and said, "You know how fast you were going, BOY?"
Bob thought for a second and said, "Uhh, 60?"
"67 mph, son! 67 mph in a 55 zone!" said the cop.
"But if you already knew officer," replied Bob, "Why did you ask me?"
Fuming over Bob's answer, the officer growled, in his normal sarcastic fashion, "That's speeding, and you're getting a ticket and a fine!"
The cop took a good close look at Bob, in his stained fishing attire and said, "You don't even look like you have a job! Why, I've never seen anyone so scruffy in my entire life!"
Bob answered, "I've got a job! I have a good, well-paying job!"
The cop leaned in the window, smelling Bob's fish catch, said, "What kind of a job would a bum like you have?"
"I'm a rectum stretcher!" replied Bob.
"What you say, BOY?" asked the patrolman.
"I'm a rectum stretcher!"
The cop, scratching his head, asked, "What does a rectum stretcher do?"
Bob explained, "People call me up and say they need to be stretched, so I go over to their house. I start with a couple of fingers, then a couple more, and then one whole hand, then two. Then I slowly pull them farther and farther apart until it's a full six feet across."
The cop, absorbed with these bizarre images in his mind, asked, "What the hell do you do with a six foot a-hole?"
Bob nonchalantly answered, "You give it a radar gun and stick it at the end of a bridge!"
7/4/06, 03:57 AM
#5502
Yah but could they ticket a reply like that too ? i just picked up my phone and called his boss when he came back I was on it I blurb out ecuse me can you see I'm on the phone ooh that made him mad , I only let him here may I speak with superindant so & so then that really got his goat, the piece of dung gave me a ticket anyway and when I went to file an official dispute Hi Ed what brings you here ? This blue thingy oh when she seen his badge # said he's been known for just being an alround ahole.
7/4/06, 10:21 AM
#5503
After all these years,
My C/T still sucks!
My C/T still sucks!
Join Date: May 5, 2004
Location: Orlando(DP!) Florida
Posts: 7,188
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
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I'm sure. He wasn't too pleased when I just told him he was flat out wrong and tacked an extra 3mph on it.
So in any case........
Anyone doing anything fun for July 4?
I have been on a movie kick-
Click- it was OK but it had Christopher Walken in it.
The Devil Wears Prada .The book rocked. The movie sucked.
So in any case........
Anyone doing anything fun for July 4?
I have been on a movie kick-
Click- it was OK but it had Christopher Walken in it.
The Devil Wears Prada .The book rocked. The movie sucked.
7/5/06, 12:12 AM
#5505
Post *****
Join Date: May 13, 2004
Location: Berkeley/Redwood City, CA
Posts: 18,613
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Originally Posted by mizanin
In the description where I found the pic, the leash is attached to a teddy bear at the back, did yours have a teddy bear too? Just tring to imagine 
with his cute little teddy bear leash... awww . Maybe you'll have to break it out for the misses.
with his cute little teddy bear leash... awww . Maybe you'll have to break it out for the misses.dont mess with teddy. he will %$&$ you up. just ask the kitty next door. man oh man did kitty get it... muahahaha
unfortunately... these days poor teddy is locked in a box in the garage. those oppressors that go by the names "mother" and "father" have locked poor teddy away. they know the destruction he is capable and did not want such a powerful force defending the peace that they sought to destroy. so that brave soul, teddy, is locked away
7/5/06, 12:25 AM
#5506
Ok Pony is all full on feed Just waiting til mom brings mini me and were off to the land of Teddys. I'm off for a whole month and this my first day I'm feeling like the Maytag Man ?
7/6/06, 01:48 AM
#5511
Maybe we could just have a Court Order to put a Govenor on your pony ? you know for speed control ? whadda think ? then you'll get a ticket cause you could not move your hinny fast enough to get outta the way of that BMF twister in your rear view Mirror. Ok I goota go to sleep now as I have to wake up in three hours to drive to DisneyLand CALIFORNIA and just maybe NewYork to get a Shelby I wish !
7/6/06, 07:35 AM
#5512
After all these years,
My C/T still sucks!
My C/T still sucks!
Join Date: May 5, 2004
Location: Orlando(DP!) Florida
Posts: 7,188
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
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I haven't been to the pool since Sunday.
Yesterday I took Eddie for a walk around the lake.
Lo and Behold- yesterday the pool got shut down again for the same reason
Housetraining your kids isn't so hard! I did it twice.
Its finally raining here too! Boogity Boogity!
Yesterday I took Eddie for a walk around the lake.
Lo and Behold- yesterday the pool got shut down again for the same reason
Housetraining your kids isn't so hard! I did it twice. Its finally raining here too! Boogity Boogity!
Some funny ****!
