top 35 things to do while driving
10/13/04, 12:01 AM
#1
GT Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: September 4, 2004
Posts: 175
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
1. Have a friend ride in the back seat. Gagged.
2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Headbang.
3. Wear snorkel gear and hang fish around from the ceiling.
4. Two words: Chicken suit.
5. Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better.
6. Pay the toll for the car behind you. Watch in rearview mirror as toll collector tries to explain to next driver.
7. Laugh. Laugh a lot. A whooooole lot.
8. Stop at the green lights.
9. Go at the red ones.
10. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.
11. Eat food that requires silverware.
12. Put your arms down the legs of an extra pair of trousers, put sneakers on your hands, and lean the seat back as you drive.
13. At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, suddenly lock your doors.
14. Honk frequently without motivation.
15. Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an offended and angry look as if they gave you an obscene gesture.
16. At stop lights, ask people if they have any Grey Poupon.
17. Let pedestrians know who's boss.
18. Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look.
19. Restart your car at every stop light.
20. Hang numerous car-fresheners in the rear-view mirror. Talk to them, stroking them lovingly.
21. Lob burning things in the windows of smokers who throw their butts out the window.
22. Keep at least five cats in the car.
23. Squeegee your windshield at every stop.
24. If an firetruck comes up behind you, pull over, get on the roof of your car, and do a cheer for them as they pass!
25. Compliment other drivers on their skill and finesse.
26. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.
27. Stop and collect roadkill.
28. Stop and pray for roadkill.
29. Stop and cook roadkill. (If in Tennessee.)
30. Throw Spam. Tape signs on windows protesting email abuse.
31. Get in the fast lane and gradually... slow... down... to... a stop. Then get out and watch the cars.
32. Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit.
33. Drive off an exit ramp, ask for directions to the town you're in. When they tell you you're there, look confused, glance at your map, laugh, and exclaim, "Oh! Wrong state!"
34. Sing without having the radio on.
35. At stop lights, run out of your car, place pylons around you, then gather them back up as the light changes and drive off...
2. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Headbang.
3. Wear snorkel gear and hang fish around from the ceiling.
4. Two words: Chicken suit.
5. Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better.
6. Pay the toll for the car behind you. Watch in rearview mirror as toll collector tries to explain to next driver.
7. Laugh. Laugh a lot. A whooooole lot.
8. Stop at the green lights.
9. Go at the red ones.
10. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.
11. Eat food that requires silverware.
12. Put your arms down the legs of an extra pair of trousers, put sneakers on your hands, and lean the seat back as you drive.
13. At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, suddenly lock your doors.
14. Honk frequently without motivation.
15. Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an offended and angry look as if they gave you an obscene gesture.
16. At stop lights, ask people if they have any Grey Poupon.
17. Let pedestrians know who's boss.
18. Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look.
19. Restart your car at every stop light.
20. Hang numerous car-fresheners in the rear-view mirror. Talk to them, stroking them lovingly.
21. Lob burning things in the windows of smokers who throw their butts out the window.
22. Keep at least five cats in the car.
23. Squeegee your windshield at every stop.
24. If an firetruck comes up behind you, pull over, get on the roof of your car, and do a cheer for them as they pass!
25. Compliment other drivers on their skill and finesse.
26. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.
27. Stop and collect roadkill.
28. Stop and pray for roadkill.
29. Stop and cook roadkill. (If in Tennessee.)
30. Throw Spam. Tape signs on windows protesting email abuse.
31. Get in the fast lane and gradually... slow... down... to... a stop. Then get out and watch the cars.
32. Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit.
33. Drive off an exit ramp, ask for directions to the town you're in. When they tell you you're there, look confused, glance at your map, laugh, and exclaim, "Oh! Wrong state!"
34. Sing without having the radio on.
35. At stop lights, run out of your car, place pylons around you, then gather them back up as the light changes and drive off...
10/13/04, 12:06 AM
#2
GT Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: September 4, 2004
Posts: 175
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
From MAD Magazine Issue 154, October 1972
Don't You Hate...
... being the only one caught speeding when you were just going as fast as everyone else.
... getting into the "Exact Change Only" lane and ending up behind a guy who finds he hasn't got the exact change.
... when something happens the day after you let your comprehensive insurance expire.
... the nauseating smell of gasoline that wafts forward to tell you that they've over-filled your tank again.
... "One Way" and "No Turn" signs that take you miles out of your way. ... bumpers that are higher than yours.
... repair shops that always have to order the part you desperately need. ... finally getting into that moving lane only to find that it abruptly stops ... and your old one moves from then on.
... a convertible top that invariably fails to operate whenever there's a sudden cloudburst.
... lending your car to someone ... and after it's returned, the engine makes a strange sound you've never heard before.
... car radios that fade out at critical moments.
... finding a vacant space where you parked your car.
... strange noises that always disappear the minute you take your new car back to the dealer ... and re-appear again right after you leave.
... having to go to the bathroom on one of those new treeless, bushless, exitless super-highways.
... hearing the unmistakable sound of a failing engine when you're right smack in the middle of the worst section of town.
... people who carelessly track whatever they stepped into right into your brand new car.
... know-it-all mechanics who insist that it's perfectly okay to do exactly the opposite - or use other parts - than what the manufacturer of your car specifically recommends.
... people who let kids eat in your new car.
... two cars that take up three parking spaces.
... glimpsing your car keys in the ignition just as you're slamming the locked car door.
... getting a flat tire in the middle of nowhere when you're dressed to the hilt.
... lending someone your car with a full tank of gas - and having it returned with exactly two drops left.
... your new car's air conditioner that conks out during the first heat wave.
... reminding you of how the heater conked out during the first cold wave.
... being trapped between two huge trucks ... and having to go miles beyond your turn-off.
... forgetting where you parked your car in a 10,000 car parking lot. ... finding a strange new puddle in your garage.
... gas station attendants who act like they're doing you the biggest favor in the world when they finally get to you.
... returning to your car the next morning just as the last faint glimmer of light fades from your headlights.
Don't You Hate...
... being the only one caught speeding when you were just going as fast as everyone else.
... getting into the "Exact Change Only" lane and ending up behind a guy who finds he hasn't got the exact change.
... when something happens the day after you let your comprehensive insurance expire.
... the nauseating smell of gasoline that wafts forward to tell you that they've over-filled your tank again.
... "One Way" and "No Turn" signs that take you miles out of your way. ... bumpers that are higher than yours.
... repair shops that always have to order the part you desperately need. ... finally getting into that moving lane only to find that it abruptly stops ... and your old one moves from then on.
... a convertible top that invariably fails to operate whenever there's a sudden cloudburst.
... lending your car to someone ... and after it's returned, the engine makes a strange sound you've never heard before.
... car radios that fade out at critical moments.
... finding a vacant space where you parked your car.
... strange noises that always disappear the minute you take your new car back to the dealer ... and re-appear again right after you leave.
... having to go to the bathroom on one of those new treeless, bushless, exitless super-highways.
... hearing the unmistakable sound of a failing engine when you're right smack in the middle of the worst section of town.
... people who carelessly track whatever they stepped into right into your brand new car.
... know-it-all mechanics who insist that it's perfectly okay to do exactly the opposite - or use other parts - than what the manufacturer of your car specifically recommends.
... people who let kids eat in your new car.
... two cars that take up three parking spaces.
... glimpsing your car keys in the ignition just as you're slamming the locked car door.
... getting a flat tire in the middle of nowhere when you're dressed to the hilt.
... lending someone your car with a full tank of gas - and having it returned with exactly two drops left.
... your new car's air conditioner that conks out during the first heat wave.
... reminding you of how the heater conked out during the first cold wave.
... being trapped between two huge trucks ... and having to go miles beyond your turn-off.
... forgetting where you parked your car in a 10,000 car parking lot. ... finding a strange new puddle in your garage.
... gas station attendants who act like they're doing you the biggest favor in the world when they finally get to you.
... returning to your car the next morning just as the last faint glimmer of light fades from your headlights.
10/13/04, 08:49 AM
#3
GTR Member
Join Date: May 27, 2004
Location: Manchester, England
Posts: 4,749
Likes: 0
Received 2 Likes
on
1 Post
Originally posted by maverick351ci@October 13, 2004, 2:09 AM
... strange noises that always disappear the minute you take your new car back to the dealer ... and re-appear again right after you leave.
... strange noises that always disappear the minute you take your new car back to the dealer ... and re-appear again right after you leave.
Or when you car breaks down, you mess with it with no luck, so you call the recovery guy. He gets there, and without touching the car, it suddenly works......
10/13/04, 09:15 AM
#4
After all these years,
My C/T still sucks!
My C/T still sucks!
Join Date: May 5, 2004
Location: Orlando(DP!) Florida
Posts: 7,188
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Know what my favorite is?
When you hear the HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Of your radiator acting a fool. Or see steam, or Smell antifreeze. Gotta love it.
I am ridding myself of GM disease ASAP.
When you hear the HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS Of your radiator acting a fool. Or see steam, or Smell antifreeze. Gotta love it.
I am ridding myself of GM disease ASAP.
10/13/04, 11:13 AM
#5
GT Member
Join Date: July 7, 2004
Posts: 159
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Originally posted by maverick351ci@October 13, 2004, 1:04 AM
14. Honk frequently without motivation.
14. Honk frequently without motivation.
Thread
Thread Starter
Forum
Replies
Last Post
sarnold58
Repair and Service Help
3
6/9/19 02:22 PM
Evil_Capri
Ford Discussions
1
8/27/15 01:08 PM
Mr. Sparkle
Introductions
4
8/21/15 10:10 AM