A middle aged man is fed up with life and decides to go skydiving. The parachuting instructor tells him to count to ten and pull the cord, if the parachute does not open, pull the emergency cord. So the man jumps out of the plane, counts to ten, pulls the cord and nothing happens. He pulls the emergency cord, still nothing happens. As he is falling helplessly toward earth, he sees a womam with blackened clothes flying up towards him. As the meet each other in the air, the man asks, "Do you know anything about parachutes?" The woman replies, "No, do you know anything about gas stoves?"

 

 

"theoretically, we're sittin on two million bucks"

LMAO