heres another

True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.

"The moral of this story is:"

"Always keep your condoms in your car"

 

OMG you're right... it was hilarious!!! Il ove snappy jokes like that...

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And in return....send me it

 

o boy, i posted most of em

 

hahahaha thats the best 1 that true story is good dude, but I think this topic is a lil "X-rated"

 

yah, but its funnier than heck

 

Earl was driving his pickumup truck down the levee pretty fast one day. A Louisiana State Trooper spotted Earl, and took off after him, but Earl just kept going faster and faster. The trooper turned his lights and siren on, but Earl just kept going.

After about twenty miles, Earl ran out of gas, and had to stop. The trooper jumped out of his car yelling at Earl, "Why didn't you stop ? I know you saw me !" Earl replies, "Well, officer, I'm truly sorry for dat. But you see, a few years ago my wife, Marie, she ran off wid a state trooper, and when I saw you, I thought you was him tryin' to bring her back. So I was tryin' to get away fast!"

 

Thats great Lynell!!!!!

 

:worship: thanks Andy...

 

Mr. Cikoch was a biology instructor at a snobby suburban girl's junior college. During class one day he asked his student, "Miss Simison, would you please name the organ of the human body, which under the appropriate conditions, expands to six times its normal size, and define the conditions."

Miss Simison gasped, and then said, "Mr. Cikoch, I don't think that is a proper question to ask me. I assure you my parents will hear of this. "With that she sat down red-faced.

Mr. Cikoch then called on Miss Hakar and asked the same question. Miss Hakar, with composure, replied, "The pupil of the eye, in dim light."

"Correct," said Mr. Cikoch. "And now, Miss Simison, I have three things to say to you. One, you have not studied your lesson. Two, you have a dirty mind. And three, you will some day be faced with a dreadful disappointment."

 

LMAO!

 

this thread is hillarious and lynell i was just gonna post that one...

It was a bright summer day so a very rich man goes down and buys a brand new ferrari... so he goes down a road that hes never seen a police man on just to see how fast he could go... then he see's a police man behind him with his lights o so he starts to slow down... then he decides "wait a minute im in a ferrari, i could eat this guy up" so he speeds up again then his conscience kicks in and he dcides to stop. so the officer pulled up and said "can i see your drivers liscence?" the man replys "my liscence was taken from me for to many demerits. so the police man says "can i see your liscence and registration?" the man replies"sorry this is a stolen car so i dont have it." the police man says couldyou open your glovebox?" "No, my guns in there" could you pop the trunk?" "no thats where i put the body." so the cop runs back to his car and calls in the whole police squadrant. when his boss pulled up he talks to the man... "can you show me your liscence" "sure here it is" the officer looks at it and hands it back then says "can i see your registration?" "sure" hands it to him... "can you open your glove box?" "sure" pops it open nothing but a couple of papers... so then he says can you pop the trunk? he says "sure" pops the trunk then there is nothing but a spare tire. then he comes back confused... "i dont understand this guy told me you didnt have a liscence and that you didnt hve the regesration and you had a gun in your glove box and a body in your trunk" "yeah and i bet the lier told you i was speeding too"

 

wow that has to be the longest post ive ever typed

 

Good one!! LOL

 

Jokes are great!!!!

 

i love it,

 

here is a better version, tuned...

It was a bright summer day so a very rich man goes down and buys a brand new SVT Cobra... so he goes down a road that hes never seen a police man on just to see how fast he could go... then he see's a police man behind him with his lights on so he starts to slow down... then he decides "wait a minute im in a Fordi, i could eat this guy up" so he speeds up again then his conscience kicks in and he dcides to stop. so the officer pulled up and said "can i see your drivers liscence?" the man replys "my liscence was taken from me for to many demerits. so the police man says "can i see your liscence and registration?" the man replies"sorry this is a stolen car so i dont have it." the police man says couldyou open your glovebox?" "No, my guns in there" could you pop the trunk?" "no thats where i put the body." so the cop runs back to his car and calls in the whole police squadrant. when his boss pulled up he talks to the man... "can you show me your liscence" "sure here it is" the officer looks at it and hands it back then says "can i see your registration?" "sure" hands it to him... "can you open your glove box?" "sure" pops it open nothing but a couple of papers... so then he says can you pop the trunk? he says "sure" pops the trunk then there is nothing but a spare tire. then he comes back confused... "i dont understand this guy told me you didnt have a liscence and that you didnt hve the regesration and you had a gun in your glove box and a body in your trunk" "yeah and i bet the lier told you i was speeding too"

 

"It runs quick. It runs deep."

theirs a funny qoute for ya

lets hear some more...

 

seriously if you were in a cobra you wouldnt even see the cop just a constant blur

 

seriously, the rush would daze you past the police lights...

btw it doesnt blurr till around 150-160

 

wel then maybe he had it jst long enough to switch up the gearing