I just honestly don't know. I know it sounds ignorant, but I just don't know. Our mortgage was the same amount as the rent when we were living in our apartment and we were saving more per month by selling the Mustang. I think a lot of it went to interest when she'd be late on a payment and it just piled up. All I know for sure right now is that I am going to be taking over ALL of the finances.

 

wow! sorry to hear all that bro, sounds alot like my ex! and that is exactly why she is my ex! you dont lie to your spouse!!! period.... i would rather have her stab me in the heart and gut me then be lied to. and whats up with the inlaws? is this normal in there ralationship and that where she gets it from? andy i feel youre pain brother!! i got divorced in 1993 and raised my 6 and 4 year olds(with help fom mom and dad) as a single parent, now they are 20 and 18. what im getting at is i agree start taking charge of the finances yourself, you can pull out of this its just gonna take some time to get back on track again!! as far as work screw them, youve got good attendance like you said, but i think as mentioned earlier be careful what is said at work. doesnt sound like she is handeling it profesionally either!! i know it seems like the world is against you but keep youre head up!! just acknowledge there are going to have to be some major changes in the future (starting with the wife)KINDA OF MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY DEAL, if you dont kick her to the curd then rehabilitate her! my prayers are with you andy!

 

At the end of the day, you just keep putting one foot in front of the other. It took while to get into this bind, it'll take a while to get out. You already sound like at least your priorities are straight. As long as that's true, you'll find a way to accomplish what you need to get done. Don't doubt yourself, other people have gotten themselves out of worse, and you can too. You're already taking steps to make good things start to happen.

We're all behind you, even if we can only offer encouragement!

 

Just don't give up man, you can figure this out and it will get better.

 

Wow this is horrible. I can't beleive the extent that she went through to hide all of this. One things for sure is you need to take control of the finances.

With that many cards maxed out bankrupcy is porb the best bet. It'll take you more then 7 years to even pay off everything prob, and you can save money not having to make all those payments.

 

Well, here's an update.

We saw the attorney on Monday and we have two options.

1. File Chapter 13, work out a payment plan to keep the house, pay all of the debts and be back to square one in 3 to 5 years.

or

2. File Chapter 7, lose the house, all debts are written off (ie we don't have to pay them at all) and have our credit restored in 2 years.

We are leaning towards Chapter 7 for many reasons. One would be that the house is too small for two children and we were going to have to sell it in less than 2 years anyway, which we wouldn't be able to do with Chapter 13. Another is that 7 takes a lot less time to restore our credit, and with the help of my parents who we will probably live with for a few months before having them co-sign for an apartment with us, we can rebuild much quicker than going with 13. Also, 7 is literally half the costs of filing for 13 and with 13 if you are late with ONE payment, you're done!!! No third chances.

This weekend, my dad and I are going to go over more of this as quickly as possible since the sheriff's sale is on March 7th. I may be able to pull some strings and have that stalled though so we'll see.

I'll update you all when I can.

Thanks again everyone for everything.

Hey, that's my first smile I've had since this started....

Andy

 

That sounds like a pretty good plan, that second one.

Once again Andy, best of luck to you. And hat's off for the sacrifices you are continually willing to make for your children.

 

Andy,

so sorry to hear about all of this.
you have handled this as best as any one could imagine possible.

 

Chap 13 will stay on your credit report for 7 years AFTER YOUR PLAN IS COMPLETE and chap 7 will stay on for 10 years from the date it is finalized (usually a couple months after you file). With 13 you cannot apply for or get any type of credit during your plan period without the trustee's approval, and the answer is likely to be NO. Tax returns, bonuses, any extra income during the plan period belongs to the trustee unless you apply for permission to keep it for yourself. With chap 7 you CAN get credit almost immediately but you will pay out the nose with a high interest rate.

Well, solicited or not here's my $.02 IF you are eligible for chap 7 I don't see the advantage of chap 13. The "plan" with 13 will be VERY restrictive, meaning they look at your income and expenses, decide how much and who you will pay each month, and there won't be much left over to save or rebuild with, or do anything else for that matter. 3-5 years just to get back to square 1. IMO the house is not worth keeping, especially if you think you will need to sell in 2 years. And if you are already $16K behind, even though it may get refinanced through the plan so you are back to go, you will still have no equity in it. Add to that the slumping market and you may actually end up upside down on the loan.

With chap 7 you CAN keep assets if you wish (i.e. file for the unsecured debt only) but it requires the approval of each individual creditor and a "re-agreement" to the loan terms (I can't remember what that's called?). Whether you keep any assets or not, the thing that is good about 7 is that your debt is 100% wiped and you can immediately have access to 100% of your income to start saving and rebuilding (back to square 1 now instead of 3-5 yrs). It's hard to get eligibility for Chap 7 anymore though since the rules were changed a couple years back.

Hang in there!

 

Andy, very sorry to hear about all of your troubles. Absolutely, you have some very difficult decisions to make and I don’t envy you that. I urge you to please, please talk in depth to your bankruptcy attorney regarding any issues that may “come back to haunt you” in later years. It is often a misconception of people who file for chapter 7 that ALL debt will be “forgiven”. There are certain types of judgments/liens that are filed that may need to be satisfied later down the road. There is a lot to be considered-the date the judgment/lien was filed, but also the type of judgment/lien (fed tax lien, state tax lien, etc.) compared to the date of your bankruptcy filing. At this point you may not have any judgments/liens against you. Sounds like in your line of work you may already know or have access to the court records to search for any. Hopefully it hasn’t gotten that far and you won’t have any.

Right now lenders have been extremely picky as to whom they will lend to. However, if you have any equity in your house it may be worth it to contact your current lender to inquire about refinancing and cashing out to satisfy your current debt. I know that $16,000 IS a lot of money and seems like the end of the world to you, but I see people refinancing all the time, paying off $20k, $30k even $40k worth of credit card debt.

If you can avoid bankruptcy at all, avoid it. It is never as easy as it seems to get yourself back on track after it. As Lynda said, you will find yourself paying out the nose for everything because your interest rate will be so high for anything you try to buy. In the long run, you will end up paying almost twice as much as a person with good credit when purchasing the same item. Imagine trying to buy a house a couple of years down the road, but you find that you can’t afford it because the interest rate is so high, you find that you are not sure that you can make the payment at all, let alone how much more you would be paying for it over the life of the loan.

Just as a ball park figure, say you purchase a home for $300,000 @ 6%, 30 years. Your monthly payment would be about $1,800 (over the life of the loan, total principal and interest payments, you will have paid about $650,000 for the home). Now say you purchase the same home for $300,000 @ 10%, 30 years. Your monthly payment would be about $2,600 (over the life of the loan, you will have paid about $950,000) for the same home. That is a huge difference from the $16,000 you are behind right now....just something for you to think about.

You have to think of the long term and how all of this will affect you in the years to come. Good luck with everything and I honestly wish you the best.

 

Ah Ladies it's no wonder that i have them as financial advisors and there Ought to be more in political office ! If I were Bill Gates I'd bail you out Andy but he I am not ! sorry. & I do & will pray all to go your WAY !

 

Good Luck Buddy, We are all pulling for ya!!!!

 

Well. As it stands right now I have finished all of the paperwork at home. Tommorow I am contacting 995hope.org. They are part of the consumer credit counseling services and may be one last ditch effort to save my home. It all comes down to whether or not the creditors are willing to work things out with them.

When I added our income together we bring home $2750 per month after taxes, health insurance, retirement plans etc. The problem is that the bills amount to $2595 WITHOUT including emergencies which means if something happens like the car needs repairs in the case of an accident, something in the house goes, or anything else that can go wrong we are going to be strapped for cash and behind again. Now if this 995hope place can possibly negotiate and lower the costs a bit we might be okay with that. But all in all it looks as if we probably will have to give up the house which is just really maddening at times when it gets on my mind.

 

Wow that IS a seriously tight budget. I agree negotiating lower payments would be a must. I don't know about the mortgage company but credit card companies will usually negotiate, especially if there is the threat of bankruptcy. I'm going to assume you are not eligible for chapter 7? I understand what Jill is saying about the long term, but the thing is your credit is already ruined no matter what you do. At least with chapter 7 you can truly start over. Heck I don't know, this is a tough situation for sure.

BUT, if you lose the house, ya know what? It's just a house. If that's the worst thing you ever lose in your lifetime, you're doing good; if debt is the worst mistake you ever make in your lifetime, you're doing good dude, really good. And you WILL get another house at some point, in fact you will probably own several in your lifetime. Maddening to think about for sure, so look AHEAD, which will be much easier I'm sure once decisions and plans are made and the dust starts to settle. This is the worst part. Take care and hang in there bud, you'll get through this.

 

i got lucky on mine, i managed to sell the house pay things off and had about 12,000 left in the end...i used that to by a forclosed home for 11,000 live there for a year fixing it up, sold that and got another foreclosed (much nicer) house for 30,000 and now ive been here for a while building things back up, got the stang and im pushing through, dont think you'll get as lucky as i did, that was a major stroke of luck even tho i lost all i had except that cutlass..everythings working out, been a few years but its working out, HANG IN THERE there lots of people pulling for you, things will work out, just dont give up, id recomend lookin for assistanc programs, the government has little programs and grants availible to those who work towards them

 

Very sorry to hear about all of this, dude.

A few thoughts that are clear to me: Debt can be fixed. Fixing the root cause of why your wife deceived you is another matter.

I'm not altogether sure how it came to be that your wife handled all the finances. Did you simply turn over all responsibility to her? Things as important as finances must ALWAYS be a joint responsibility in this day & age...with full transparency.

From what I've read so far >>

- Take the Chapter 7 if you can

- You and your wife need to go into marriage counseling once the financial crisis has passed. Personally, if it were me - and there were no kids involved - she'd be gone...period - but you have children to think about, so you need to at least try to make it work. But to do that, you've got to remake the relationship.