My wife is the most egotistical, selfish person on earth sometimes! You know what make that most of the time.

My 25th birthday is coming up, you know it's a special one. So she asks me what I want. I tell her a Mustang of course. She asks if I can't have that what else would I like. So I thought about it and told her that maybe we could put some extra money aside for the savings.

So fast forward a month. She calls me at work and asks if I want a new grill (mind you I already have one that I like and she has wanted one since spring). I told her no, I would just like to relax and put some more money aside and maybe go look at some mustangs. She says okay and we move on another 2 weeks.

Well, yesterday she tells me that she bought a grill for me and has it delivered that day when we come home. I tell her to please not open it so I can return it since she technically bought it for me. The fact is she bought it for herself because she wanted it and didn't want to wait or confer with me. If she really wanted it that bad I would have said okay let's go look at some and see what we can find.

So this morning I wake up and she's got the box open and is assembling it so I can't return my gift.

Also to make matters worse I had made plans last night (with her agreeance of course) to look at an 89 GT today at 1 O'clock. Well, at 12 noon today she changes her mind and says that she doesn't want to look at it and I look like a jack@$$ to this poor guy I had made plans with.

Now, this I'm sure this is enough to upset any person but to make matters worse let's look at the past shall we

1. When we got married she wanted a $4,000 engagment ring and a $750 wedding band. Me, I get a measly $80 band because we used up all the money.

2. For her 25th birthday she wanted a pair of diamond earrings. She said she just wants small 1/4 ct one's that are on sale for $500. What do we end up leaving with? 3/4 ct $1,250 earrings!!!!

3. She wants a house. Fine not a bad idea but she wants to spend thousands doing stuff to it so we do.

4. She wants a vehicle with AWD. So I give up my beloved 99 GT and we get a Subaru, promising me that by my 25th brithday we can get another one.

5. She wants me to stop doing volunteer firefighting saying she doesn't like to be home alone at night. Okay, fine I can understand that, so I turn in my pager and take a hiatus.

So all in all, here I am sitting with a friggin' grill she wanted, no chance of a Mustang in the near future and one very selfish wife who I have given up everything for.

And yes, for everyone's info we have been to marriage counseling for this. But nothing has changed whatsoever.

 

She better be one good piece in bed if you're putting up w/ that much crap. I'd have sent her packing a long time ago. Do you have kids? If not, it's not too late...

 

Golly does that story sound familiar.
Nothing will change, get used to it.
I took a stand and only gave in to what I was willing to give in to.
I am old, so I already have a house that is almost paid for.
When she said she wanted a half a million dollar house, I said NO.
I bought the "$500 earings" without her being there.
She wanted a certain type of vehicle, I made her sit there and worry about not getting it while I hammered the manager on the trade.
The only way I got a Mustang, was she had to get a dog.
I gave her many presents and I love her...
But...
When she started going through the change (of life) and started in on the new house we don't need, she got fed up with me.
I vowed to stay with her always.
However when she said she was moving out, I just said I didn't think it was the best thing for her.
I did not even try to stop her.
The divorce was final last month.
You make your own choices.

 

Andy, you've got a choice to make. Divorce now and take your time finding someone new, or divorce later and have a hard time finding a new 'mate' as the older they get, the less 'fish' are in the sea. The odds of a woman like that not cheating on you and leaving you are slim. It'll be less difficult now than later.

 

I've thought about a lot lately. I really have. I do have a son though and I want to try and make things work for him. He's the ost important person in my life.

 

Completely understandable, and you're a good man for feeling that way. Hopefully there's some way that she can get her priorities straight. Her number one priority should be being a mother, and making whatever minor sacrifice necessary to try an keep your son in a stable two-parent environment. But if she only cares about herself, there's only so much you can do. Good luck.

 

TO be honest sometimes trying too long to make it work for the kids is the wrong thing to do. THey see you with all this tension and they start to either lose respect for you or your wife, o they think that is how a normal relationship is supposed to be.

I have never been married mind you but my parents got divorces when I was in the 4th grade. I was lucky that they did it as soona s they realized things were not peachy anymore. I never saw them fight or sensed any tension. They are still friends today and I have NEVER heard a negative thing said about the other from either of them. I lived with my dad after the divorce but remained very close to my mother and saw her often despite her being in North Dakota and me in Houston. She even stayed with us when she came down to see us.

Take this into account for your son's sake. I promise that if things are done correctly he will be just fine and be even closer to you both.

 

ok....so I think we all need to slow down and figure a way to work this out instead of trying to "time a divorce" correctly. I am truley against divorce, and feel like there is nothing so bad that you can't work through. Maybe you should take a look at your wedding vows again, and try to wprk on all of the things you vowed to be to one another. I think thats a good start. I look at it from a ministers perspective..(cause I am one)....and I think this has just as much to do with God as it does the two of you. Re-focus of God and I'm sure things will start to get better....

-My appologies for the religious stuff....but think about it guys...thats what marrige is.

 

So has she read this thread yet?

 

I agree, but why did God make some women such a pain in the a$$. ?

 

maybe to make more of a man out of us??.. Only reason I can think of....the Big Guy confuses me all the time.

 

What if the "Christian" wife tells you she is moving out.

 

have you told her how you feel?
maybe she'll understand

 

That's what marriage counseling is all about.

There is more to it than just listening and understanding.
There is the acting on it part too.
.
.

 

go out tuesday and buy a mustang. Is it a nice grill? That will fix every thing. 23 years of service/marriage here no clue how we lasted this long. Good luck. Get out with each other and have some fun. Take some time and go on short day trips with each other and your child. Never fall out of love with each other at the same time .... I think that the trick.

 

How long have you been married? I know the first couple of years are the hardest. Sounds like she gets what ever she wants, but then again, sounds like you are giving her what she wants. However, doesn't sound like she listens to anything you want. Either time for another round at the counselling or time to pack your bags. You are only 25, so you are still very young, and for a lot of people 25 is to young to be married anyway.

 

Hey. Go buy the 89 Stang. Period. Get yourself a small loan if you have too. If she truely loves ya, she'll understand. You can tell her you did it, while barbarqueing with her grille. Oh, one other thing, go get your pager back!!

 

Hey man, I had a female best friend that has a similiar attitude to your wife's. Eventhough we weren't dating and never dated, she wanted to have things her way. I let her borrow money from me in her time of need and instead of paying me back, she continuously took my friendship for granted and spent money that she should have been spending to pay her bills off on one frivilous thing after another or one Internet Boy Toy after another. Hell she even tried to dictate how I spent my own money (I'm a thousand times more responsible with money than she could ever dream to be...my credit rating proves that) and tried to stop me from getting my S197 last year by trying to convince me to get a SUV so that "we" could have a moving vehicle when we moved in together, which I knew wasn't going to happen. The bottom line is and I learned this fairly early (thank goodness) is that people like those will walk all over you if they sense you're weak or won't "fight" back. Thanks to some members of the Mustang community and my decision, I decided it was time to end my friendship with her since because (1) she didn't appreciate our friendship (2) constantly took me for granted and everything I did for her. I'm not telling you what to do, I'm not even telling you to divorce your wife but there's a 90% chance that people like those will not get better in time. I think it's very admirable that you are willing to stay with it for the kid, but kids aren't stupid. They can sense when mommie and daddie aren't getting along and even if you don't see it, it takes affect on them. I come from a family where my mom and dad were constantly at odds and made for a wretched childhood growing up. If there's a way to make it work (especially with the kid involved) I say go for it, however divorce should be your absolute last option if nothing else works...not your get out of jail free card if times get a little rough.

I wish you the best.

 

lifes too short. Why wake up one morning 15 yrs. from now and decide to split????? Kids will get over it. Obviously she's into herself anyhow. Hey, who am I to talk. I divorced after 7 yrs. and have been single since 1976. Best decision SHE ever made FOR ME was to dump me. I never looked back and the kids all turned out fine too.

 

I didn't read any of the replies, only the original post, but good God man. I just turned 25 as well, and hearing stories like this only fuels my personal belief that most of the women in my age range (I'll say those that are currently 22-28 years old) are BROKEN. I know that there are still a few good ones out there, but I really believe that women...no, GIRLS... my age are brainwashed by books, TV, movies, and their friends to think that every one of them deserves to have every guy bend to their every whim, and give them the world. That is utter BS. Sure, some of them may deserve to be treated that well, but they need to EARN it, and that's what most of these spoiled brats don't seem to understand. Selfish, selfish, selfish.

If I have to choose between having a girlfriend or wife like that and being single, I'd MUCH rather have more money to spend on toys for myself ANY day of the week.

But I hope things work out for you, I wouldn't wish divorce upon anyone unless it's the last possible choice.

Rant over. I'm bitter. lol.