to help you decide where to retire:
8/24/06, 08:20 AM
#1
After all these years,
My C/T still sucks!
My C/T still sucks!
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 5, 2004
Location: Orlando(DP!) Florida
Posts: 7,180
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to help you decide where to retire:
You can live in Phoenix, Arizona where...
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You can open and drive your car without touching the car door or the steering wheel.
3. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
4. You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
5. You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
6. "Dress Code" is meaningless at high schools and universities.
7. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
8. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
9. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
10. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
You can Live in California where...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2 The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
3 The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
You can Live in New York City where...
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.
3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
4 You think Central Park is "nature."
5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.
6. You've worn out a car horn.
7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
You can Live in Maine where...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.
You can Live in the Deep South where...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2."y'all" is singular and "all y'alls" is plural.
3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from ' round here, are Ya?"
4. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Carole Ann, etc.
You can live in Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
You can live in the Midwest where...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"
And you can live in Florida where...
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often slowly driven by headless people.
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You can open and drive your car without touching the car door or the steering wheel.
3. You've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
4. You would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.
5. You can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.
6. "Dress Code" is meaningless at high schools and universities.
7. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
8. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
9. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!
10. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
You can Live in California where...
1. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2 The high school quarterback calls a time-out to answer his cell phone.
3 The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
4. You know how to eat an artichoke.
5. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
6. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
You can Live in New York City where...
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan.
2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.
3. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
4 You think Central Park is "nature."
5. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.
6. You've worn out a car horn.
7. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
You can Live in Maine where...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco.
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for moose.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.
You can Live in the Deep South where...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2."y'all" is singular and "all y'alls" is plural.
3. After five years you still hear, "You ain't from ' round here, are Ya?"
4. "He needed killin' " is a valid defense.
5. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Sue, Betty Jean, Carole Ann, etc.
You can live in Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
You can live in the Midwest where...
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"
And you can live in Florida where...
1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon.
2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars.
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you are often slowly driven by headless people.
8/24/06, 12:05 PM
#2
After all these years,
My C/T still sucks!
My C/T still sucks!
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 5, 2004
Location: Orlando(DP!) Florida
Posts: 7,180
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
And to boot; some things I just don't understand:
You know you're a Long Islander because…
1. You feel like you know Howard Stern.
2. You live in the shadow of the greatest city in the world, but you almost never go there. (What the hell?)
3. When you're away from Long Island, you love it and when you're there, you don't.
4. You know the exact point at which Queens turns into Nassau simply on intuition.
5. You've been to Jones Beach Field 4 on a June weekend afternoon.
6. You've been to the Tanger Outlets and came home with nothing to show for it.
7. You're still waiting for a bridge to Connecticut. (Yea, would save $100!)
8. You've tried to use your father's monthly ticket to ride the LIRR, it worked.
9. You'd pay $8.50 for a movie.
10. You've never really fully evaluated the meaning of the name Hicksville.
11. You know where the Commack Motor Inn is but you "have never been ther".
12. You've never been to Times Square on New Year's Eve.
13. You've tried to find the Amityville Horror house.
14. No, you don't want mustard on that burger!
15. You have or someone you know has fallen asleep on the LIRR and ended up in one of these three places; Babylon, Port Washington or Hicksville.
16. How many times can you use the word "like" in a sentence?
17. The most exciting day of your summer is when all the tickets go on sale for the Jones Beach Theater.
18. You went to an elementary school that promoted dodge ball as the number 1 game among children 7-13.
19. You know White Castle is terrible for you and the food sucks but you periodically "Get the Crave".
20. You have been to Mulcahay's on Thanksgiving Eve, the largest ladies night event of every year.
21. You want the Yankees to stay in the Bronx, but would probably go to more games if they moved to Manhattan.
22. You can order a whole pizza and a soda and people understand.
23. You've missed that "Drunk Train", the 2:42 out of Penn and had the dreaded wait until 5:30.
24. You've never taken an MTA bus.
25. You felt slighted when Snapple sold out.
26. You have been to the Coliseum to see the Circus (the one with the 3 rings, not the Islanders)
27. The Long Island Expressway isn't really as bad as everybody thinks.
28. You saw a movie at the Westbury Drive In before they tore it down.
29. You have been to the Roosevelt Field before the second level was completed.
30. You don't associate Fire Island with gay men.
31. When you hear Billy Joel's "Scenes From An Italian Restaurant" you try to figure out what places on Long Island he singing about.
32. You know which parts of the Godfather where filmed on Long Island.
33. You've said stupid things like "strong island".
34. You've paid a $10 cover charge to get into a bar, but got nothing for it.
35. You think religion doesn't affect you much.
36. You miss wiffleball and running through sprinklers.
37. You think Islip MacArthur airport is cute and you enjoy watching it grow up.
38. You always likes Billy Joel, but as soon as you leave, you love Billy Joel.
39. You think that Jones Beach Theater or the nassau Coliseum is the best place to see a concert.
40. Billy Joel said it best, "either you date a rich girl from the North Shore, or a cool girl from the South Shore".
41. You don;t really see the big deal about the Hamptons, unless you were at the Bordy barn.
42. You think if you're not from Long Island or NYC, you're not really from New York.
43. You don't go to Manhattan, you go to "The City".
44. You never realize you have an accent till you leave. (Hey Brian say COFFEE!)
45. At some point in your life you've gone clamming.
46. You curse. A lot.
47. If your parents didn't, you're grandparents lived in the city.
48. At some point in your life you or someone you know has gotten an animal that came from the North Shore Animal League.
49. When people ask "where are you from?" you answer Long Guy Land and automatically assume everyone in the world knows that answer means New York.
50. You can correctly pronouce places like Happauge, Commack, Islip, Islandia, Massapequa.
51. You know the location of 6 malls and a dozen McDonalds and 36 7-11's.
You know you're a Long Islander because…
1. You feel like you know Howard Stern.
2. You live in the shadow of the greatest city in the world, but you almost never go there. (What the hell?)
3. When you're away from Long Island, you love it and when you're there, you don't.
4. You know the exact point at which Queens turns into Nassau simply on intuition.
5. You've been to Jones Beach Field 4 on a June weekend afternoon.
6. You've been to the Tanger Outlets and came home with nothing to show for it.
7. You're still waiting for a bridge to Connecticut. (Yea, would save $100!)
8. You've tried to use your father's monthly ticket to ride the LIRR, it worked.
9. You'd pay $8.50 for a movie.
10. You've never really fully evaluated the meaning of the name Hicksville.
11. You know where the Commack Motor Inn is but you "have never been ther".
12. You've never been to Times Square on New Year's Eve.
13. You've tried to find the Amityville Horror house.
14. No, you don't want mustard on that burger!
15. You have or someone you know has fallen asleep on the LIRR and ended up in one of these three places; Babylon, Port Washington or Hicksville.
16. How many times can you use the word "like" in a sentence?
17. The most exciting day of your summer is when all the tickets go on sale for the Jones Beach Theater.
18. You went to an elementary school that promoted dodge ball as the number 1 game among children 7-13.
19. You know White Castle is terrible for you and the food sucks but you periodically "Get the Crave".
20. You have been to Mulcahay's on Thanksgiving Eve, the largest ladies night event of every year.
21. You want the Yankees to stay in the Bronx, but would probably go to more games if they moved to Manhattan.
22. You can order a whole pizza and a soda and people understand.
23. You've missed that "Drunk Train", the 2:42 out of Penn and had the dreaded wait until 5:30.
24. You've never taken an MTA bus.
25. You felt slighted when Snapple sold out.
26. You have been to the Coliseum to see the Circus (the one with the 3 rings, not the Islanders)
27. The Long Island Expressway isn't really as bad as everybody thinks.
28. You saw a movie at the Westbury Drive In before they tore it down.
29. You have been to the Roosevelt Field before the second level was completed.
30. You don't associate Fire Island with gay men.
31. When you hear Billy Joel's "Scenes From An Italian Restaurant" you try to figure out what places on Long Island he singing about.
32. You know which parts of the Godfather where filmed on Long Island.
33. You've said stupid things like "strong island".
34. You've paid a $10 cover charge to get into a bar, but got nothing for it.
35. You think religion doesn't affect you much.
36. You miss wiffleball and running through sprinklers.
37. You think Islip MacArthur airport is cute and you enjoy watching it grow up.
38. You always likes Billy Joel, but as soon as you leave, you love Billy Joel.
39. You think that Jones Beach Theater or the nassau Coliseum is the best place to see a concert.
40. Billy Joel said it best, "either you date a rich girl from the North Shore, or a cool girl from the South Shore".
41. You don;t really see the big deal about the Hamptons, unless you were at the Bordy barn.
42. You think if you're not from Long Island or NYC, you're not really from New York.
43. You don't go to Manhattan, you go to "The City".
44. You never realize you have an accent till you leave. (Hey Brian say COFFEE!)
45. At some point in your life you've gone clamming.
46. You curse. A lot.
47. If your parents didn't, you're grandparents lived in the city.
48. At some point in your life you or someone you know has gotten an animal that came from the North Shore Animal League.
49. When people ask "where are you from?" you answer Long Guy Land and automatically assume everyone in the world knows that answer means New York.
50. You can correctly pronouce places like Happauge, Commack, Islip, Islandia, Massapequa.
51. You know the location of 6 malls and a dozen McDonalds and 36 7-11's.
8/24/06, 12:06 PM
#3
After all these years,
My C/T still sucks!
My C/T still sucks!
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 5, 2004
Location: Orlando(DP!) Florida
Posts: 7,180
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
You Know You're From Alabama When...
You have a party or a barbeque whenever Alabama plays Auburn in football.
You go to Gulf Shores every summer.
You call the Atlanta Braves baseball team "us" like they're actually from Alabama.
You would much rather visit Florida than California.
You don't "take", you "carry" or "tote"... as in "You want me to carry you down to the 7-11?"
A soft drink isn't soda, cola, or pop, it's Coke.
You call it a "buggy" and not a shopping cart.
You've said "fixin' to," "might could," or "usetacould" during the last week.
Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.(we know someone!)
You can properly pronounce Eufaula, Opelika, Bayou La Batre, and Oneonta.
The Talladega 500 is the biggest sporting event of any sort during the entire year.
You know exactly what chitlins and mountain oysters are, and you know someone who eats them anyway.
You think that people who complain about the humidity in other states are sissies.
You aren't surprised to find rental movies, groceries, ammunition and bait all in the same store.
You've missed a wedding or a funeral to go to a football game.
Asian food is always "CHINESE" regardless of the fact that it may actually be Korean or Japanese or Thai
You have a party or a barbeque whenever Alabama plays Auburn in football.
You go to Gulf Shores every summer.
You call the Atlanta Braves baseball team "us" like they're actually from Alabama.
You would much rather visit Florida than California.
You don't "take", you "carry" or "tote"... as in "You want me to carry you down to the 7-11?"
A soft drink isn't soda, cola, or pop, it's Coke.
You call it a "buggy" and not a shopping cart.
You've said "fixin' to," "might could," or "usetacould" during the last week.
Someone you know has used a football schedule to plan their wedding date.(we know someone!)
You can properly pronounce Eufaula, Opelika, Bayou La Batre, and Oneonta.
The Talladega 500 is the biggest sporting event of any sort during the entire year.
You know exactly what chitlins and mountain oysters are, and you know someone who eats them anyway.
You think that people who complain about the humidity in other states are sissies.
You aren't surprised to find rental movies, groceries, ammunition and bait all in the same store.
You've missed a wedding or a funeral to go to a football game.
Asian food is always "CHINESE" regardless of the fact that it may actually be Korean or Japanese or Thai
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