HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHUCK NORRIS!
3/10/06, 10:35 AM
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The man, the myth, the legend was born today on this date! March 10, 1940
- At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris.
- On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
- On his birthday, Chuck Norris blows out his candles by blinking.
- Chuck Norris' family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.
- Chuck Norris coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
- At birth, Chuck Norris came out feet first so he could roundhouse kick the doctor in the face. Nobody delivers Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris.
- On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
- On his birthday, Chuck Norris blows out his candles by blinking.
- Chuck Norris' family threw him a surprise birthday party when he was a child. Once.
- Chuck Norris coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
3/10/06, 11:05 AM
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<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(racerx @ March 10, 2006, 11:38 AM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
The man, the myth, the legend was born today on this date! March 10, 1940
- Chuck Norris coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
[/b][/quote]
BAHAHAHA [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/lol.gif[/img]
The man, the myth, the legend was born today on this date! March 10, 1940
- Chuck Norris coined the phrase, "I see dead people," after the waiting staff at Denny's forgot his birthday.
[/b][/quote]
BAHAHAHA [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/lol.gif[/img]
3/10/06, 11:09 AM
#3
Chuck Norris is the greatest baseball player of all time, but because he hits homeruns with roundhouse kicks, he has never been allowed to play at the professional level.
In Missouri, any depicition of Chuck Norris must be registered with the state as a lethal weapon.
Chuck Norris can turn coal into diamonds just by staring at it.
Chuck Norris uses the blood from "Alien" as a facial scrub.
If ever you have a day when you feel that the gods are against you, just be glad that Chuck Norris isn't.
If you cannot concentrate, it is because Chuck Norris is remotely controlling your brain to power his Total Gym.
If you ever get the chance to play Chuck Norris in Madden football, he will beat you 56-7.
Chuck Norris would shave his beard, but there is no metal on earth strong enough to cut through it.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Jared lost all of that weight. This is simply because Jared has been running from Chuck for years.
Chuck Norris parted the Red Sea. Not because he has divine powers, but because the water wants to get the heck out of there.
Chuck Norris carries no money. Pain is his only currency.
Chuck Norris knows where in the world Carmen Sandiego is. He's also roundhouse kicked her in the face.
At the start of every summer, Chuck Norris begins practicing his roundhouse kicks outside. We know this as hurricane season.
Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can grate fresh parmesan cheese with his rust-red beard.
After taking a cue from George Foreman, Chuck Norris will develop his own grill that actually bullies and roundkicks the food into getting more brown.
Chuck Norris sank the Titanic with a slow-motion roundhouse kick because he can't stand that Celine Dion song.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man's blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
The first human was not Adam, it was Chuck Norris. The only reason God created Eve was because Chuck Norris needed someone to roundhouse kick and make babies with.
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth. In the end all that will be left is Chuck Norris.
Roughly a quarter of all these Chuck Norris facts were submitted by Vin Diesel, who is unaware that the Vin Diesel fact generator even exists.
In Missouri, any depicition of Chuck Norris must be registered with the state as a lethal weapon.
Chuck Norris can turn coal into diamonds just by staring at it.
Chuck Norris uses the blood from "Alien" as a facial scrub.
If ever you have a day when you feel that the gods are against you, just be glad that Chuck Norris isn't.
If you cannot concentrate, it is because Chuck Norris is remotely controlling your brain to power his Total Gym.
If you ever get the chance to play Chuck Norris in Madden football, he will beat you 56-7.
Chuck Norris would shave his beard, but there is no metal on earth strong enough to cut through it.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Jared lost all of that weight. This is simply because Jared has been running from Chuck for years.
Chuck Norris parted the Red Sea. Not because he has divine powers, but because the water wants to get the heck out of there.
Chuck Norris carries no money. Pain is his only currency.
Chuck Norris knows where in the world Carmen Sandiego is. He's also roundhouse kicked her in the face.
At the start of every summer, Chuck Norris begins practicing his roundhouse kicks outside. We know this as hurricane season.
Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can grate fresh parmesan cheese with his rust-red beard.
After taking a cue from George Foreman, Chuck Norris will develop his own grill that actually bullies and roundkicks the food into getting more brown.
Chuck Norris sank the Titanic with a slow-motion roundhouse kick because he can't stand that Celine Dion song.
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man's blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was a fatal roundhouse delivered by Chuck Norris.
The first human was not Adam, it was Chuck Norris. The only reason God created Eve was because Chuck Norris needed someone to roundhouse kick and make babies with.
In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth. In the end all that will be left is Chuck Norris.
Roughly a quarter of all these Chuck Norris facts were submitted by Vin Diesel, who is unaware that the Vin Diesel fact generator even exists.
3/10/06, 03:54 PM
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<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Tiberius1701 @ March 10, 2006, 1:21 PM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
If Jack Bauer were gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.
Still love Chuck though!
Happy Birthday!!
[/b][/quote]
If Chuck Norris starred on the show "24"...it would be called "17 Minutes" [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_mrgreen.gif[/img]
If Jack Bauer were gay, his name would be Chuck Norris.
Still love Chuck though!
Happy Birthday!!
[/b][/quote]
If Chuck Norris starred on the show "24"...it would be called "17 Minutes" [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/icon_mrgreen.gif[/img]
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