Mustang Funnies from Tricky02gt
6/5/06, 10:10 AM
#1
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I know its not a caption but thought I'd add it anyway.
At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:
"If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, Ford Motor Company issued a press release stating:
"If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1) For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2) Every time they painted new lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
3) Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
4) Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5) Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But then you would have to buy more seats.
6) Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
7) The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
8) New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9) The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
10) Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.
11) Every time Ford introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
12) You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.
At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:
"If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, Ford Motor Company issued a press release stating:
"If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1) For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2) Every time they painted new lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
3) Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
4) Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5) Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But then you would have to buy more seats.
6) Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five percent of the roads.
7) The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.
8) New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9) The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
10) Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.
11) Every time Ford introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
12) You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.
6/5/06, 10:11 AM
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And another one
The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the US auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black boxes in four-wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.
They were surprised to find in 49 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were,
"Oh, crap!"
Only the state of Alabama was different, where 89.3 percent of the final words were:
"Hold my beer and watch this!"
The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the US auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black boxes in four-wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.
They were surprised to find in 49 of the 50 states the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were,
"Oh, crap!"
Only the state of Alabama was different, where 89.3 percent of the final words were:
"Hold my beer and watch this!"
6/5/06, 02:08 PM
#3
Moved those out of the caption thread and created thier own.
Btw, its not "Hold my beer and watch this!".. we dont use the word "and" in situations like that. Its substituted with " 'n ".
Btw, its not "Hold my beer and watch this!".. we dont use the word "and" in situations like that. Its substituted with " 'n ".
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