View Poll Results: Chuck Norris VS The Zohan; Who wins?
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The Zohan VS Chuck Norris
10/14/09 | 08:09 PM
#1
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The Zohan VS Chuck Norris
The Zohan
Top 5 Abilities:
1. Super kicks, "The Zohan Flying Kick", "Feet Uppercut", "Roundhouse".
2. Super Sonic Speed attacks.
3. Superhuman abilities such as no-hand push-ups and feeling no pain.
4. Incredible Jumps
5. "The Pretzel"
Specialty: Silky smooth haircuts.
Interests: Fizzy Bublejh, hachy sacky, hummus, Dalia.
Chuck Norris
Top 5 abilities:
1. Gale force roundhouse
2. Beating the Sun at starring contests.
3. Blowing bubbles with beef jerky.
4. Getting Big Macs from burger King
5. Mercyless slaughter
Specialty:
Interests: Manslaughter
Last edited by Metrionix; 10/15/09 at 02:28 PM.
10/14/09 | 10:03 PM
#2
Legacy TMS Member
Joined: February 2, 2004
Posts: 7,582
Likes: 670
From: Insane
Ok, really?
When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks the closet and under the bed for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep... he waits.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity... twice.
When Chuck Norris does push ups, he's not pushing himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris *can* eat just one Lays potato chip.
The list goes on and on. Zohan can't touch Chuck for sheer Chuckness.
When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks the closet and under the bed for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep... he waits.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity... twice.
When Chuck Norris does push ups, he's not pushing himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
Chuck Norris *can* eat just one Lays potato chip.
The list goes on and on. Zohan can't touch Chuck for sheer Chuckness.
Last edited by houtex; 10/14/09 at 10:04 PM.
10/15/09 | 03:09 PM
#6
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10/15/09 | 03:18 PM
#7
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yeah, he's not. Adam Sandler can't fight Chuck. Let's pretend the Zohan was real tho... Cause If chuck Norris did look at the son so long, he would be blind. He can´t realy blow bubbes with beef jerky. so lets pretend Chuck Norris could do all that and he fought The Zohan as he was in the movie.
10/15/09 | 06:56 PM
#8
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Joined: February 2, 2004
Posts: 7,582
Likes: 670
From: Insane
No, Chuck *can* do all those things. You're in denial of the greatness that is Chuck Norris.
Although, even in his mightiest... the Ultimate Showdown proves that Mr. Rogers is the King:
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/vie...Y2Mjc2Mg%3D%3D
But this is about Chuck and Zohan, so...
Although, even in his mightiest... the Ultimate Showdown proves that Mr. Rogers is the King:
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/vie...Y2Mjc2Mg%3D%3D
But this is about Chuck and Zohan, so...
10/16/09 | 02:05 PM
#14
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Ok, these ones may suck, I'm sorry, but I just came up with them 6 seconds ago.
Chuck Norris can do a burnout on a bike.
Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands. When he came back, they were just called The Islands.
The government outlawed Chuck Norris from using his roundhouse kicks in the water. Why? Well, besides totally liquifying the opposing individual, the shockwaves from the impact have created tsunamis, that threated to wipe out entire countries.
Back in WW2, the government was contemplating sending Mr. Norris to japan. In the end they decided to use the nuke. They thought it was more humane.
Santa Claus does not deliver the presents his elves make. The speeds at which he must traver would evaporate him. Instead, Chuck Norris puts on a Santa costume and does his job for him, traveling the Earth at 68,000 MPS, stopping suddenly at each house from that speed, creating enough friction to heat the surrounding air to the temperatures of the surface of the sun.
Chuck Norris swims in black holes.
Chuck Norris can clog a toilet with ****.
Again, sorry if it wasn't funny. Agh, I feel so lame right now.
Chuck Norris can do a burnout on a bike.
Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands. When he came back, they were just called The Islands.
The government outlawed Chuck Norris from using his roundhouse kicks in the water. Why? Well, besides totally liquifying the opposing individual, the shockwaves from the impact have created tsunamis, that threated to wipe out entire countries.
Back in WW2, the government was contemplating sending Mr. Norris to japan. In the end they decided to use the nuke. They thought it was more humane.
Santa Claus does not deliver the presents his elves make. The speeds at which he must traver would evaporate him. Instead, Chuck Norris puts on a Santa costume and does his job for him, traveling the Earth at 68,000 MPS, stopping suddenly at each house from that speed, creating enough friction to heat the surrounding air to the temperatures of the surface of the sun.
Chuck Norris swims in black holes.
Chuck Norris can clog a toilet with ****.
Again, sorry if it wasn't funny. Agh, I feel so lame right now.
Last edited by Metrionix; 10/16/09 at 02:14 PM.
10/16/09 | 05:24 PM
#15
Shelby GT500 Member
Joined: April 13, 2006
Posts: 2,752
Likes: 0
From: McAllen, Texas
Ok, these ones may suck, I'm sorry, but I just came up with them 6 seconds ago.
Chuck Norris can do a burnout on a bike.
Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands. When he came back, they were just called The Islands.
The government outlawed Chuck Norris from using his roundhouse kicks in the water. Why? Well, besides totally liquifying the opposing individual, the shockwaves from the impact have created tsunamis, that threated to wipe out entire countries.
Back in WW2, the government was contemplating sending Mr. Norris to japan. In the end they decided to use the nuke. They thought it was more humane.
Santa Claus does not deliver the presents his elves make. The speeds at which he must traver would evaporate him. Instead, Chuck Norris puts on a Santa costume and does his job for him, traveling the Earth at 68,000 MPS, stopping suddenly at each house from that speed, creating enough friction to heat the surrounding air to the temperatures of the surface of the sun.
Chuck Norris swims in black holes.
Chuck Norris can clog a toilet with ****.
Again, sorry if it wasn't funny. Agh, I feel so lame right now.
Chuck Norris can do a burnout on a bike.
Chuck Norris went to the Virgin Islands. When he came back, they were just called The Islands.
The government outlawed Chuck Norris from using his roundhouse kicks in the water. Why? Well, besides totally liquifying the opposing individual, the shockwaves from the impact have created tsunamis, that threated to wipe out entire countries.
Back in WW2, the government was contemplating sending Mr. Norris to japan. In the end they decided to use the nuke. They thought it was more humane.
Santa Claus does not deliver the presents his elves make. The speeds at which he must traver would evaporate him. Instead, Chuck Norris puts on a Santa costume and does his job for him, traveling the Earth at 68,000 MPS, stopping suddenly at each house from that speed, creating enough friction to heat the surrounding air to the temperatures of the surface of the sun.
Chuck Norris swims in black holes.
Chuck Norris can clog a toilet with ****.
Again, sorry if it wasn't funny. Agh, I feel so lame right now.
The bolded ones are funny
There is no "ctrl" button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.
Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
Last edited by Knight Rider; 10/16/09 at 05:43 PM.
10/16/09 | 06:19 PM
#16
BoogieNights Studios:
Official Fluffer
Official Fluffer
Joined: September 13, 2009
Posts: 5,520
Likes: 5
From: Clarksville, TN
The bolded ones are funny
There is no "ctrl" button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.
Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
There is no "ctrl" button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Chuck Norris once worked as a weatherman for the San Diego evening news. Every night he would make the same forecast: Partly cloudy with a 75% chance of Pain.
Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal
Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his urine as a canned beverage. We know this beverage as Red Bull.
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