You know your an EXTEME Redneck if......
7/15/05, 10:05 AM
#1
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You're An EXTREME Redneck When.....
You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front
of her kids.
The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how
much gas is in it.
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different
night.
You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, y'all, watch
this."
You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
Your junior prom offers day care.
You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen,
start your engines."
You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its
wheels.
The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
One of your kids was born on a pool table.
You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the
House of Tattoos.
You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law
against it.
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk!
REDNECK PALM PILOT
You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front
of her kids.
The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how
much gas is in it.
You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different
night.
You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
Someone in your family died right after saying, "Hey, y'all, watch
this."
You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
Your junior prom offers day care.
You think the last words of the "Star-Spangled Banner" are "Gentlemen,
start your engines."
You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its
wheels.
The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
One of your kids was born on a pool table.
You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the
House of Tattoos.
You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law
against it.
You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk!
REDNECK PALM PILOT
7/15/05, 10:10 AM
#3
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Originally posted by 1999 Black 35th GT@July 15, 2005, 10:11 AM
Those are great!!!
That would fit my Grandparents pretty well
Those are great!!!
That would fit my Grandparents pretty well
Or in my case, you could go into my bedroom to get a beer out the fridge :P
7/15/05, 10:23 AM
#4
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Originally posted by southern_stang_girlee@July 15, 2005, 12:13 PM
Or in my case, you could go into my bedroom to get a beer out the fridge :P
Or in my case, you could go into my bedroom to get a beer out the fridge :P
that it would be worth it. 
7/15/05, 03:01 PM
#7
Some of those are SO wrong... but so DARN FREAKIN HILARIOUS! lmao... I like the Beer in the bedroom idea. Hey y'all, watch this!
7/15/05, 03:21 PM
#8
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Originally posted by Enfynet@July 15, 2005, 3:04 PM
Some of those are SO wrong... but so DARN FREAKIN HILARIOUS! lmao... I like the Beer in the bedroom idea.
Hey y'all, watch this!
Some of those are SO wrong... but so DARN FREAKIN HILARIOUS! lmao... I like the Beer in the bedroom idea. Hey y'all, watch this!
thanks 
7/15/05, 03:26 PM
#9
After all these years,
My C/T still sucks!
My C/T still sucks!
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Holy crap I can't count how many HEY YALL WATCH THIS moments I have witnessed.
TOO FUNNY.
My last one was July 4- Our friend shot a bottle rocket into a beer bottle.
And then lit his hiney on fire shooting fireworks.
GOOD ONES!
TOO FUNNY.
My last one was July 4- Our friend shot a bottle rocket into a beer bottle.
And then lit his hiney on fire shooting fireworks.
GOOD ONES!
7/16/05, 01:19 PM
#10
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Don't worry, my Dad's stepfather took a empty propane tank and put a 3 inch valve and piece of pipe on the end of it, then closed the valve and filled it with 300psi with the air compressor and opened the valve with a corn cob in the pipe, he shot it through the woods and out of sight, then he started shooting all the food he could find that was burned or stale or un cooked. ....
7/16/05, 02:26 PM
#11
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Here's a "Hey Y'all, watch this moment"
At any big get together my buddy Paul does what's called "The Show." "The Show" usually consists of standing near a ledge at least 5 feet high, singing a verse from a Tom Jones song (I don't know why) then running and jumping off the edge and at the peak of his jump biting a full unopened beer can in half. Then he usually lands in such a way that he hurts himself. Needless to say he always slices his lips up.
Once he did it while jumping over a bonfire.
The next show will probably be in a month. He'll likely jump off the top deck of the houseboat we're renting and into Lake Cumberland. If I remember I'll post pictures, but I'll probably be too drunk to remember.
At any big get together my buddy Paul does what's called "The Show." "The Show" usually consists of standing near a ledge at least 5 feet high, singing a verse from a Tom Jones song (I don't know why) then running and jumping off the edge and at the peak of his jump biting a full unopened beer can in half. Then he usually lands in such a way that he hurts himself. Needless to say he always slices his lips up.
Once he did it while jumping over a bonfire.
The next show will probably be in a month. He'll likely jump off the top deck of the houseboat we're renting and into Lake Cumberland. If I remember I'll post pictures, but I'll probably be too drunk to remember.
7/17/05, 08:48 PM
#13
After all these years,
My C/T still sucks!
My C/T still sucks!
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I have the ULTIMATE hey yall watch this moment:
Once upon a time I had a family of rabbits(literally, I had about 50 at one time)...We were all around and discovered a possum had gotten into one of the rabbit holes......
My Dad and Hubby deep into the miller light decide: HEY lets burn it out...
UHOH... the torch didn't shut off.......
My mother and I blissfully unaware hear BOOOOM!
Silly men decided rather than let it blow up they would SHOOT it..
And amazingly no one(not even one of my bunnies) got maimed.
And the possum escaped.
Once upon a time I had a family of rabbits(literally, I had about 50 at one time)...We were all around and discovered a possum had gotten into one of the rabbit holes......
My Dad and Hubby deep into the miller light decide: HEY lets burn it out...
UHOH... the torch didn't shut off.......
My mother and I blissfully unaware hear BOOOOM!
Silly men decided rather than let it blow up they would SHOOT it..
And amazingly no one(not even one of my bunnies) got maimed.
And the possum escaped.
7/18/05, 10:04 AM
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Originally posted by future9er24@July 18, 2005, 10:05 AM
i tried to make a taser once... and tested it on my arm....
"hey Vishal, watch this!"
yeah lol ahh, memories of being ten. so great
i tried to make a taser once... and tested it on my arm....
"hey Vishal, watch this!"
yeah lol ahh, memories of being ten. so great
is that where the Afro came from?
J/J
7/19/05, 02:55 PM
#18
After all these years,
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My C/T still sucks!
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Originally posted by Jay_n1@July 19, 2005, 2:42 PM
You might be a redneck if you have a orange '69 Charger as your daily driver..
You might be a redneck if you have a orange '69 Charger as your daily driver..
7/19/05, 03:17 PM
#19
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Originally posted by EleanorsMine@July 19, 2005, 2:58 PM
In that case.......I'd like to be a redneck.
In that case.......I'd like to be a redneck.
7/19/05, 03:31 PM
#20
After all these years,
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My C/T still sucks!
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Eleanor is like Christine.....
She only performs for one person.
Someone strange tries to drive her, she may run over em or something.
She only performs for one person.
Someone strange tries to drive her, she may run over em or something.