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rant warning !!!! 5 months ago i ordered via the interweb some of those products you cant get in the US without a dr`s prescription .. i give them all the pertinant info and set in to wait .. the package is coming from china via USPS ..4 weeks go by and i email the sender and inquire about a tracking # ... they gladly supply one and remind me that my package is coming from over half way around the world and may take 4 to 6 weeks to arive .. i take my tracking # and call my local post office which is barely more than a mile from the dilivery address .. where is this package i ask ? .. after 5 minutes waiting on the phone the lady tells me it was deemed undeliverable and returned to sender due to improper address ... when did this occur i ask ? this morning she said ...cant you stop it and let me come and get it i ask ? no was the reply .. it`s already in the return system .. i email the sender and they gladly say give them the corrected address info and they will correct and send again free of shipping ..a month for it to get back to china .. a month for it to come back to america ..yesterday morning i email the sender .. could you provide me a tracking # for my package please .. yes it`s ####### .. and be reminded it may take 4 to 6 weeks to arrive .. iv`e already been waiting two extra months ...yesterday evening i call my local post office with my tracking # to inquire where it was ... again after 5 minutes waiting on the phone the person says " were sorry'' your package was deemed undeliverable and returned to sender .. when did that occur i asked .. this morning she said .. i ask what was wrong with the address ? .. after waiting another 5 minutes she came back and said the zip code was incorrect .. it reads 35804 when it should read 35805 .. one # off .. one street off .. coming 15000 thousand miles twice no less and they wont deliver it cause it`s one # off ... and the USPS lady even knows where the sending address is .. i dont care now if i get it or not .. i dont even want a refund .. but i did email the sender again ....and the post office wonders why they`re going under ..
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Originally Posted by HOSS429
(Post 6538491)
rant warning !!!! 5 months ago i ordered via the interweb some of those products you cant get in the US without a dr`s prescription .. i give them all the pertinant info and set in to wait .. the package is coming from china via USPS ..4 weeks go by and i email the sender and inquire about a tracking # ... they gladly supply one and remind me that my package is coming from over half way around the world and may take 4 to 6 weeks to arive .. i take my tracking # and call my local post office which is barely more than a mile from the dilivery address .. where is this package i ask ? .. after 5 minutes waiting on the phone the lady tells me it was deemed undeliverable and returned to sender due to improper address ... when did this occur i ask ? this morning she said ...cant you stop it and let me come and get it i ask ? no was the reply .. it`s already in the return system .. i email the sender and they gladly say give them the corrected address info and they will correct and send again free of shipping ..a month for it to get back to china .. a month for it to come back to america ..yesterday morning i email the sender .. could you provide me a tracking # for my package please .. yes it`s ####### .. and be reminded it may take 4 to 6 weeks to arrive .. iv`e already been waiting two extra months ...yesterday evening i call my local post office with my tracking # to inquire where it was ... again after 5 minutes waiting on the phone the person says " were sorry'' your package was deemed undeliverable and returned to sender .. when did that occur i asked .. this morning she said .. i ask what was wrong with the address ? .. after waiting another 5 minutes she came back and said the zip code was incorrect .. it reads 35804 when it should read 35805 .. one # off .. one street off .. coming 15000 thousand miles twice no less and they wont deliver it cause it`s one # off ... and the USPS lady even knows where the sending address is .. i dont care now if i get it or not .. i dont even want a refund .. but i did email the sender again ....and the post office wonders why they`re going under ..
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Originally Posted by Mustang Freak
(Post 6538518)
Wow that's a story that the USPS should learn from and they wonder why they're in the red!!! LOL
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just so you know .
i credit myself with coining several phrases nearly 40 years ago that are common place today .. " my bad ". TWSS" . and a few others i cant ammember ..but i bet you dint know the source of another phrase that has been around about as long .. you no doubt are familiar with the TV show doomsday preppers .. i was a doomsday prepper 40 years ago ..i compiled a list of things i thought i would need .. # 1 .soup ... versitle stuff .. filling .. and easy to prepare with any kind of flame to warm it # 2 .A cauli .. i love veggies and cauliflower is one of the longest lasting in its natural state # 3 Fridge . got to have somewhere to store my cauli and beer # 4 . Elastic . . good for sealing and rapping things for storage # 5 Eggs .. cant beat eggs for long life and nutrition # 6 . Peas ..again love my vegies .. need your greens .. # 7 Halitosis . i dint count on bad breath .. reading the list of things i deemed important to a friend he comented that it had a nice ring to it .. '' soup A cauli fridge elastic eggs peas halitosis " hence another phrase was attributed to me |
:lol2:
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Random thought for the day.
Never trust a man that has a tattoo on his neck. They don't make good decisions. |
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i dont think i have shared a story from my colorful hotrod past so i mite start such an episode now .. i will begin with an event i shared with a fellow named jerry moore about 35 years ago .. i will tell more about him as time goes by .. and he was a real person as my picture will attest .. jerry was as much a hotrodder as anybody you could ever imagine .. always had the best and fastest cars around .. he was related to some local prominant drag racers and always got their hand me down speed parts .. he had roller cam engines and ported heads when all the rest of us had only stock stuff .. but one time we went to new market in his A Super Stock 70 camaro to hunt up a guy who had a bad old hotrod .. we pulled up at a yard full of black guys and asked if anybody had any thing they wanted to run .. yes said one of the guys but it will take a while for me to get it ready .. ok we said . one of them got a battery from his car ,, one of them took the carb off his car .. another siphoned some gas .. and in about 20 minutes about 5 of them came pushing a 53 chevy from around behind an old barn ..we lined up on macon road and that old piece of junk beat us twice .. never did find out what he had under the hood .. jerry lost about as many street races as he won
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one nite after several too sudweisers i went to leave the bar and crawled into my car and after a few seconds of trying i realised i could`nt put my key in the ignition .. then after another few moments i come to realise that my steering column was missing !!! .someone had stold my steering column out of my car .. i phone the police and they were johnny on the spot .. it dint take them long to figure out what the problem was .. i had got into the back seat of the wrong car ..needless to say they took me with them
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Originally Posted by HOSS429
(Post 6541073)
one nite after several too sudweisers i went to leave the bar and crawled into my car and after a few seconds of trying i realised i could`nt put my key in the ignition .. then after another few moments i come to realise that my steering column was missing !!! .someone had stold my steering column out of my car .. i phone the police and they were johnny on the spot .. it dint take them long to figure out what the problem was .. i had got into the back seat of the wrong car ..needless to say they took me with them
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another story with jerry moore and myself .. with the same 427 camaro that we just got beat by the old clunker we headed off to scottsboro one nite for a match race with a fellow in 426 hemi dodge of some sort .. as stated jerry was famous for having hand me down speed parts but did`nt always refreshen everything .. he threw a loose motor together with intentions of it only lasting long enuff to race this hemi .. we made it to scottsboro easily enuff and waxed the hemi twice . on the long drive home we pretty quickly realised that we had blown all the oil out of the motor ,, we limped into a church parking lot and without hesitation jerry popped the trunk , got out a cresent wrench and a few empty old oil cans and proceded to drain the oil out the church bus .. we helped ourselves to most of its gas as well and went merrily on our way back to hazel green
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in 1975 bigfoot was spotted in southern tenn .. lincoln county to be exact ..i know the fellow who saw him ..stanley moore .. no realtion to jerry .. anyway i was still dating a high school sweetheart from that area ( lincoln lake ) and one weekend jerry and i were up there after having gone on our dates and were taking my girlfriend home .. of course i had been partaking in the suds most of the nite and needed to relieve myself so we diverted down a lonely one lane dirt road and i stepped out behind the car to do my duty .. as i was doing my buisness a rather large white face cow leaned over a fence and snorted real loud in jerrys rolled down window ..He screamed .. both the girls screamed and he floored it spewing gravel all over me and leaving me in the middle of that dirt road with little willie hanging out ...i ran faster than O.J simpson ever thought about and finally caught up with jerry about a 1/4 mile down the road .. when i got to his window i slapped his door out of breath and grunting for him to open it and let me in .. again he yelled out and so did the girls and off again he went but .. eventually i got back in the car and the nite was finished
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:rofl3: :rofl3:
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pardon the pun . part one
I tried to catch some Fog. I mist.
When chemists die, they barium. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down. I did a theatrical performance about puns . It was a play on words. They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type-O. A dyslexic man walks into a bra and ordered a martini. Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations. Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz. Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. |
pun .. part 2
How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble. What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds. I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me! Broken pencils are pointless. What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool . I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes. Velcro - what a rip off! Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy. Venison for dinner? Oh deer! I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure. Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too. |
I'm enjoying these HOSS429 keep em coming!!!
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WHO IS JACK SCHITT?
For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt'! Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, who married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the ne wspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt. Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt', you can correct them. Sincerely, Crock O. Schitt |
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anyone seen this car lately ? .. i think he sold it and his yellow 429 70 to buy a new shelby ..
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Like a lot of Americans, I decided to buy another gun today but
there was a bit of confusion at gun shop this morning. When I was ready to pay for my purchases of gun and ammo the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." i made a mental note to complain to the local newspaper about the gun registry people running amuk,but till the stuff was mine I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieking had finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to my credit card. I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. They need to make their instructions to us seniors a little clearer! |
Originally Posted by HOSS429
(Post 6551862)
anyone seen this car lately ? .. i think he sold it and his yellow 429 70 to buy a new shelby ..
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