HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is "BREASTED AMERICAN." .

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She IS "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE
INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY." .

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is A "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION." .

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED." .

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" - She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED." .

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED." .

9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE." .

10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED." .

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" She Is"PECTORALLY SUPERIOR." .

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."
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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE >POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN >STORAGE
FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN." .

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS." .

6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" -He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL." .

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL hiney" - He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION." .

8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY." .

9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED." .

10. He is not"HORNY" He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED." .

11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants, It's "REAR CLEAVAGE."

 

I think this is my favorite.

 

he does not have a "beer gut" he has "a protective layer for his rock-hard abs"

 

just so you all know, us pudgy people are harder to kidnap

 

but no one wants to kidnap pudgy people



#1 for women doesnt always work. there were some big guys in PE las year :shudder: