Haljordan

I have a good friend at work and recently,he's begun a somewhat-relationship with a woman we work with. We're on a night-shift and have alot of time on our hands,and he sends most of his down time in her department,which she's by herself in. They're both married,and they both spend at least 2 hours a night hanging out,for breaks or lunch and they've even gone running around in his car occasionally,he says to get something to eat. Now,i know neither spouse of each of these guys knows the extent of their friendship and i know for a fact,it's never crossed the line(he would have told me),so is this something he should watch out for,is he crossing the line already,i told him i thought he was on thin ice around this woman. She's quite attractive and they get along so well,other people in other departments are already thinking something. Should i mind my own business,is he doing anything wrong??
My wife seems to think so even though i insist he's not doing anything. So,is it okay to have a friend like this or is he treading a very thin line?

G.T

To be honest i think he is walking on thin ice.. but i think you should only get involved if you are a family friend, or know for certain that something out of the line is happening between the two.

i'm not saying let him cheat as he likes.. but in case this whole thing was a misunderstanding on your behalf, you wouldn't wind up looking like an a$$, ruining your relationship with your colleagues, and making your place of work a PITA to be at.

i'm sure it sucks being in your shoes now, but there's no one way about it..
if you're a family friend of either.. talk to the man or the woman individually, shedding light on the office gossip that's spreading around, which is likely to get blown out of proportion and reach their spouses.
if not.. i say you take a step back, as anything else you do could back-fire.

*cough* i feel like Dr.Phill :P

HOSS429

leave it alone .. most of my best friends are women .. but i do wish someone would have told me 16 years ago what my ex wife and ex good friend were up to .. i was the last to know..

05GT-O.C.D.

If he wouldn't act that way in front of his wife, then he's cheating. But you need to stay out of the line of fire on this one.

Lalo

I was going to say the same exact thing.

Glenn

the song (lets givem some thing to talk about) pops into my head.

codeman94

Being someone who is trained as a marrige couselor...(minister)

yeah...if other people at work are noticing and its not just you...then I think they might be a little too friendly. His wife probably would not approve of him going out on little "dates" with this girl either. If I were you...I would say something....especially if this is a really good friend of yours, your wife, your family. You want to make sure that if other people think your buddy might be cheating, that you definatly AREN'T cheating on anyone. Take the offensive with this before you get blamed for something because of your affiliation with the situation....

Glenn

I agree with codeman. If nothing is going on now. I think its building into some thing. I also think it would be help full to see a pic or two of her...... you know so we can get a better feel for whats going on. lol

Haljordan

Oh she's hot and she likes muscle cars and heavy metal which is very worrisome because it's almost like they're two peas in a pod........she even likes Smokey and the Bandit,watches it every time it comes on........i think she's evil.
I guess i'll just mind my own business,it's not as if i could do anything about it anyway,maybe i hope he won't tell me if something starts. He would,but maybe he won't. Maybe they'll just stay in that neutral zone that they're in now.

Knight

Well Green Lantern, from one Justice League member to another. If they are your friend you should definnatly talk to them about it.

Like other people said.. if their wife wouldn't be ok with it then its cheating. Sometimes people don't think about that and need a little reminder to help.

Boomer

Ok..even I thought that was cheesy.....

1 COBRA

Really?

What's his email address?

Haljordan

HA!! Somebody else is a comic book fan!

jacostang

This is just my own opinion but, if he is lurking around this gal, maybe she is doing or telling him something that he is not getting back at home.. This could lead to some ....."Slipping" I firmly believe it ok to have gal pals but again, just how friendly and like you said other people are waware there is "something". Trouble...

codeman94

I'm not afraid to admit it....but I got into a relationship like that back in high school....and it didnt go anywhere, it was completely social, but I kinda got along better with this other girl than I did my G/F...who is now my wife. And It had something to do with the relationship WE had than it anything to do with the other girl. It may be something that needs to be worked on at home, instead of getting it somewhere else.

1 COBRA

Neither should Haljordan.

He should admit it to his good friend he consulted the matter with his wife, the TMS membership, and heaven knows where else with an over whelming majority disapproving his indiscreet, obvious, and disgusting foreplay.

Glenn

some times a good girl friend will make your marriage stronger lol

adrenalin

basically all I can say is 2 things.....

1. If they have not had any sexual advances towards each other they are not cheating

2. If what he is doing is not hurting his family in anyway, meaning his wife knows about her, he doesn't treat her different (ie: the old "why can't you be more like so and so") then there is no harm.

People that are married are not dead. They will still be attracted to other people, and yes, they do flirt whether you want to believe it or not. Mind you there is a difference between flirting and cyber sex.

In most cases this is harmless, just hope he knows when to stop before he crosses the line. If he goes out to dinner with this person without his wife, well, he might want to think about becoming single again.

codeman94

I see where you are going with that.....its the old "I have this friend who" trick! lol! Just kiddin....

1 COBRA

Close but no cigar. I'll PM the answer.