1999 Black 35th GT

I'm not sure if all of you know but at the end of October my mortgage company filed foreclosure upon my wife and I. My wife looked into it and told me it was all a mistake and that they had accidentally put our payments into the wrong account and that it had been fixed.

Fast forward 3 months to tonight. I'm eating dinner and she tells me that there is a problem. Here for the last year and a half she has been feeding me a line of $h^& about everything. Here things got tight and she didn't tell me, hid mail from me, erased phone messages from my cell phone and tried to fix everything herself. I am now $16,000 in the hole on my house plus attorney's fees. My house is now going up for Sheriff sale in March and my credit card which I thought was paid off, well it isn't! It's maxed out! The worst piece of the puzzle is that her parents knew and never told me a goshdarned thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How can you do that to someone??!?!??!

I have given up everything to try and make things more affordable. I gave up my Mustang, my Olds and my Taurus (luckily the car payment is fine, or so she says).

I surprisingly didn't get mad through all of this, I just cried. I don't know what I'm going to do. Needless to say, my son and I are at my parents house. They are trying to help as much as they can, but there is only so much they can do.

Sorry for the depressing write but I needed to get it out. I am going to go try and sleep now if I can.

korinwoodo

**** man, thats hard to hear. I wish the best of luck to you and your family.
Stay strong, you will recover with time.

karman

My Ex-wife didn't like the way I spent the money.
She always had her own money to spend but had to pay her share of the monthly expenses.
Now that she is on her own and I can see how she spends her money, I know why I handled things carefully.
She would never have lied to me about it, she just doesn't understand.
You need to find a way to explain to your son that his mom doesn't understand money, she only understands loving him.
You will get through this, but it will take years (sorry).
My heart goes out to you.

TheDarkKnight

I'm really sorry about your situation. I know things are tough now and they will only get harder before they get better; but this dilemma WILL GET BETTER with time.

I truly wish you the best of luck.

MustangLynda

Andy,

Really at this point there is not a whole lot you can do. I don't know which is worse - the financial situation or being lied to about it.

Regarding finances, the next couple of months are going to be high anxiety and traumatic as you will have to go through the motions of packing, moving etc. and deal with the legal end of the foreclosure. The house is gone. Let it go. Once it's sold at auction the bank gets what it's going to get and the good news is it's OVER. The credit card and any other debts you have will eventually get paid off. You will end up with crappy credit, but heck, if you were behind on your house and other debts your credit was already crappy anyway. After you get through the next couple of months IMO it is IMPERATIVE that you look FORWARD. It happened, it's done, learn from what you think you could have done differently, stand up straight and focus FORWARD. This is a bump in a very long road and it will be way behind you faster than you think, I can promise you that.

Regarding being lied to to that degree, I'm not gonna touch that. Myself, that would feel almost surreal to me.

fordboy97f150

have you looked into filing for bankruptcy? i mean, your credit is going to be bad already, btu a fresh start may help, and just look at it like this, you can start fresh, make a billing plan, learn from mistakes made, things will get better, ive been there myself, first thing out on my own i lost all i had, look at me now, 4 cars, 4 bedroom house, 4 car garage...it jsut takes time and a lil hard work, and CRUNCH YOUR NUMBERS!!! best of luck, try to have a good night, get rest

theedge67

Yeah, that sucks alright. I can't believe you didn't get mad through all that. I would have probably blown a head gasket or two.

future9er24

my god...

Andy that is terrible I'm so sorry to hear that. It is ridiculous that she could do something like that. I'm sorry I can't be more consoling, but I wish you the very best. Hang in there buddy. You're a **** good guy, and the sacrifices you made for your family show that. Karma will eventually do you right

Hang tough

Glenn

Trade the wife in on a newer model. As long as you still have a job you should be able to dig yourself outta this mess. Have you talked to the bank yourself about your house??

65205

Really sorry about your situation. With a little time, things will get better. Everyone here,if they post or not, is thinking of you, and praying for you. With time, luck, hard work and the support of your family, things will work out. I believe that when one door closes, another one opens. Months or years from now, you will look back on this and see what positive changes have occurred in you life. Take care.

Strickland

I wish you much luck Andy; it will get better even if it is difficult to see now.

jacostang

Thats rough for sure and best of luck! The only thing that really stands out for me is that as team you guys maybe could have worked this out! It doesn't sound like your the kind of guy to blow his top and together, well you know two heads are better than one..

Good Luck and I know I am an eternal optimist but everything happens for a reason..

D

Donna

Good Luck Andy. I don't have any words of wisdom for you, but I do hope things get better. I'll say a prayer for you.

Mackitraz

You can "what if" yourself to death about what happened, how you didn't see what was going on, how you could have handled anything differently. But it won't help. I agree, it's really important to look forward, figure out the damage and start to make goals of what you're going to fix and by when. Then you can feel like you are making positive changes.

My dad started his whole life over at age 50: new job, new town, new relationships, pretty much everything. You can your family can get through this too. It can be done.

I don't want to think about the issues you and your wife probably have to resolve now, but I wish you luck in addressing them. I would just hope you don't try to smooth things over without dealing with what got you here in the first place, as some people would find that tempting (me in the past for instance, obviously in difference circumstances over different things).

Good luck. My heart goes out to you. I got married 4 months ago, and my wife and I are starting to sort out our finances, and I'm not sure how well she understands things either. But I've already seen a time or two that she didn't tell me about things until they started to get bad, which, given your situation, scares the cr@p out of me.

Let us know how things go!

1999 Black 35th GT

I have an appointment with a bankruptcy attorney on Monday morning. As far as my relationship with my wife, that remains to be seen. I need to solve this first but a decision in that regards will be made very soon.

I don't think at this point I can ever trust her or her parents again.

Scothew

Dang bro, sorry to hear all of this. G'luck to you mate, I know you can pull through it all.

codeman94

Hey man...first thing is first...Get your prorities set up...then figure them out one by one...oh yeah....take over the finances from now on. Hang in there buddy.

1999 Black 35th GT

This has just gone from bad to worse...

Last night I called my boss and let him know that I wouldn't be in to work today because of the situation. Logically I needed the day so my dad and I could get some ideas together and I could make the needed phone calls. I also left a message last night for the office manager letting her know that I wouldn't be in today and that I would be back Friday and I would also call her today to update her on what the status is.

So I call and I ask if everything is going okay at the office. I get attitude right off the bat that she is so swamped since I called off (not my fault they still haven't hired someone to back me up like everyone else has) and when I tell her that I am going to need Monday off to meet with an attorney she has a fit saying that, "Why don't you go to one closer?", "This is your problem, not ours and you shouldn't affect the office because of your personal problem", and that as far as she's concerned I am not going to be able to take off on Monday.

Well F%^& her!!!! I have an excellent attendance record! I come in when it snows and half of the office calls off and I live 19 miles away, I come in when I am sick as a dog while this new girl in our office calls off if she has a hangnail! I'm serious, she called off one day early last year because she cut a hangnail too short and she said her finger hurt too bad to type!!!! What happens when she comes in..... she gets sympathy from the same
*female dog* that is giving me crap!

To give you guys a record of how many times I called off last year it's 2!!!

Once in January when I had to take my son to the hospital, and the last on April 21st (yes I actually remember the date) when I had pnuemonia and I only took off 1 day....1 measely day!!!

Since then I have not had ANY unplanned days off, and if I have a Dr.'s appointment I only take that hour or so I need and I ALWAYS put in a request at least a month ahead. That means it's been over 9 months since I have had to call off!

Maybe I'm talking out of my butt, but at this point, so help me God, if I get slack tommorow I am 2 seconds away from telling her what's what!

She has no idea what it is like to be on her own. She's such a loser that she is in her late 50's and lives with her sister and her mom, has never had kids, and has never lived on her own!

codeman94

Take a deep breath bro....dont let emotions get you in an even worse position....if I were you, I wouldt get into detail with your work. Just tell them you need a day off and leave it at that....Youll be ok.

1999 Black 35th GT

I wish it were that simple my friend, but unfortunately I work in the office where civil actions like mortgage foreclosures are filed so everyone in the office has seen it....