Holly Jolly Holidays
12/2/04, 05:58 AM
#21
After all these years,
My C/T still sucks!
My C/T still sucks!
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12/2/04, 05:00 PM
#22
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Originally posted by EleanorsMine@November 29, 2004, 6:44 AM
This is true-
For the ladies who are about to start Christmas shopping, and the men who need to drop a hint...
Rule #1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.
Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, by him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey, George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK, by the way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.
Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car, a 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.
Rule #4: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. Once I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money, buy your man a big screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.
Rule #6: Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink whiskey or beer.
Rule #7: Do not buy any man industrial sized canisters of after shave or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink, they are earthy.
Rule #8: Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks, there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks, Shorts, Cups, Saucers, Door, Lock, Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why.
Rule #9: Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over.
Rule #10: Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumbar, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center and Les Schwab Tire. (Auto parts stores and Sears Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores.) It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From Sears Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter from a '57 Chevy? Wow! Thanks!"
Rule #11: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh, the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"
Rule #12: Tickets to a Lakers game or the Anaheim Ducks are smart gifts. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Centural Quilts" Everyone knows why.
Rule #13: Men love chain saws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chain saw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets a label maker.
Rule #14: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a stepladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.
Rule #15: Rope. Men love rope (especially a ropin' rope!). It takes us back to our cowboy origins......or at least to the Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope. No one knows why.
This is true-
For the ladies who are about to start Christmas shopping, and the men who need to drop a hint...
Rule #1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many cordless drills. No one knows why.
Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, by him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying those two words. "Hey, George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK, by the way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why.
Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car, a 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows why.
Rule #4: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. Once I was told that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts.
Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have a lot of money, buy your man a big screen TV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips, and flips, and flips.
Rule #6: Do not buy a man any of those fancy liqueurs. If you do, it will sit in a cupboard for 23 years. Real men drink whiskey or beer.
Rule #7: Do not buy any man industrial sized canisters of after shave or deodorant. I'm told they do not stink, they are earthy.
Rule #8: Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks, there will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks, Shorts, Cups, Saucers, Door, Lock, Sink." You get the idea. No one knows why.
Rule #9: Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over.
Rule #10: Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works, Parr Lumbar, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center and Les Schwab Tire. (Auto parts stores and Sears Clearance Centers are also excellent men's stores.) It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From Sears Auto, eh? Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter from a '57 Chevy? Wow! Thanks!"
Rule #11: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook - but they will barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh, the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a hamburger?"
Rule #12: Tickets to a Lakers game or the Anaheim Ducks are smart gifts. However, he will not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Centural Quilts" Everyone knows why.
Rule #13: Men love chain saws. Never, ever, buy a man you love a chain saw. If you don't know why - please refer to Rule #8 and what happens when he gets a label maker.
Rule #14: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a real man a stepladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.
Rule #15: Rope. Men love rope (especially a ropin' rope!). It takes us back to our cowboy origins......or at least to the Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of 3/8" manila rope. No one knows why.
12/2/04, 08:36 PM
#23
Legacy TMS Member
All I want for Christmas is a 'Stang G T
A 'Stang G T
A 'Stang G T
All I want for Christmas is a 'Stang G T
So I can finallygetthatGTI'vebeenwantingandcovetingandmopin gaboutformonths!
Ok, I don't think the last part rhymes or fits the tempo, but hey....
A 'Stang G T
A 'Stang G T
All I want for Christmas is a 'Stang G T
So I can finallygetthatGTI'vebeenwantingandcovetingandmopin gaboutformonths!
Ok, I don't think the last part rhymes or fits the tempo, but hey....
12/2/04, 09:39 PM
#24
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Originally posted by EleanorsMine@December 2, 2004, 7:01 AM
And if you are so inclined;
FESTIVUS FOR THE RESTUVUS
And if you are so inclined;
FESTIVUS FOR THE RESTUVUS
Back in senior year of high school, I got about a quarter of the class to celebrate Festivus one day(I think it was the middle of March...
)Lots of people yelling, "Festivus for the restivus!"
Gonna start the xmas shopping this weekend I guess... :scratch:
12/3/04, 05:42 AM
#25
After all these years,
My C/T still sucks!
My C/T still sucks!
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AHHHHH Festivus for the Restovus............. 
I swear to you, nuts as my extended family Is, I am gonna get likkered up and drag out the Festivus pole on them sooner or later.
This year, I am starting the Festivus Fruitcake tradition. Today I am going to go buy one of those Walmart brand NASTY Fruitcakes and send it on its journey.
Guess I gotta shop this weekend too. I both dread and look forward to it.
All I want for Christmas is a skyfi 2.....
I swear to you, nuts as my extended family Is, I am gonna get likkered up and drag out the Festivus pole on them sooner or later.
This year, I am starting the Festivus Fruitcake tradition. Today I am going to go buy one of those Walmart brand NASTY Fruitcakes and send it on its journey.
Guess I gotta shop this weekend too. I both dread and look forward to it.
All I want for Christmas is a skyfi 2.....
12/3/04, 06:41 AM
#27
Legacy TMS Member
Originally posted by FrankBullitt05@November 28, 2004, 6:54 PM
You're all nuts!
I plan on doing all my xmas shopping on 12/24 around noon-ish
You're all nuts!
I plan on doing all my xmas shopping on 12/24 around noon-ish
12/3/04, 06:49 AM
#28
After all these years,
My C/T still sucks!
My C/T still sucks!
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Originally posted by Kluski+December 3, 2004, 8:44 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Kluski @ December 3, 2004, 8:44 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-FrankBullitt05@November 28, 2004, 6:54 PM
You're all nuts!
I plan on doing all my xmas shopping on 12/24 around noon-ish
You're all nuts!
I plan on doing all my xmas shopping on 12/24 around noon-ish
ONe year we had present day a week early. Forgot to do a holdback on Santa for the kids-
11pm Christmas eve- scrambling around Blockbuster Looking for something for Santa to leave.
12/6/04, 05:19 AM
#29
After all these years,
My C/T still sucks!
My C/T still sucks!
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TACKY CHRISTMAS LIGHT CHECKLIST: DO I HAVE A TACKY DISPLAY??
Did the electric company proclaim you "Customer of the Month" for December?
Are you often kept up at night because of the glare coming through your window?
Are your neighbors kept up at night because of the glare coming through their windows?
Do you own an entire lifesize nativity scene that lights up? Is it sitting in your yard right now?
Is there anything in your Christmas display that is mechanical? (UHOH!
)
Is there a plastic Santa Claus and nine plastic reindeer on your roof?
Does it take you more than two hours to set up your Christmas light display?
Has your Christmas display caused your normally sleepy backstreet to become a major highway?
Does the owner of the local lighting store know you by name?
Are people taking pictures of your house?
Do people point at your house as they drive by?
Do people get out of their cars with their children and stare at your house?
DO YOU HAVE A WEB PAGE DEDICATED TO YOUR CHRISTMAS LIGHT DISPLAY?
Did the electric company proclaim you "Customer of the Month" for December?
Are you often kept up at night because of the glare coming through your window?
Are your neighbors kept up at night because of the glare coming through their windows?
Do you own an entire lifesize nativity scene that lights up? Is it sitting in your yard right now?
Is there anything in your Christmas display that is mechanical? (UHOH!
)Is there a plastic Santa Claus and nine plastic reindeer on your roof?
Does it take you more than two hours to set up your Christmas light display?
Has your Christmas display caused your normally sleepy backstreet to become a major highway?
Does the owner of the local lighting store know you by name?
Are people taking pictures of your house?
Do people point at your house as they drive by?
Do people get out of their cars with their children and stare at your house?
DO YOU HAVE A WEB PAGE DEDICATED TO YOUR CHRISTMAS LIGHT DISPLAY?
12/6/04, 05:21 AM
#30
After all these years,
My C/T still sucks!
My C/T still sucks!
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20 Ways To Confuse Santa Claus
Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.
Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.
Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!
Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.
Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney.
While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off.
Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy.
Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."
Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.
Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun.
Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.
Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.
Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled."
Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs.
Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us."
Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.
While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding ticket.
Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays. Ask if he would mind watering your plants.
While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas. Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.
Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa suit!
Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his way home.
Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney.
While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that last payment, and take off.
Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy.
Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well. They always return to the scene of the crime."
Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and corrections.
Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!" and fire a gun.
Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.
Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.
Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been "trampled."
Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs.
Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say, "This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us."
12/6/04, 09:24 AM
#31
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Originally posted by Kluski+December 3, 2004, 8:44 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Kluski @ December 3, 2004, 8:44 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-FrankBullitt05@November 28, 2004, 6:54 PM
You're all nuts!
I plan on doing all my xmas shopping on 12/24 around noon-ish
You're all nuts!
I plan on doing all my xmas shopping on 12/24 around noon-ish
This would be me...I have bought nothing yet.
12/6/04, 11:22 AM
#32
After all these years,
My C/T still sucks!
My C/T still sucks!
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OUCH
I am just back from playing Santa.......Son wanted a Schwinn Stingray and daughter wanted a Remote Control H2.....PLUS all the other stuff... That load of moola I just dropped would have put a good chunk into my Eleanor fund. Whatcha wanna bet the Bratz will have no feet and the Micro hotwheels will be eaten by Eddie before the sun sets on 12/25? BUT MANNNNNN that Chopper bicycle is cool!! Check it out:
http://www.schwinnstingray.com/
My find for the day- a 1966 Mustang convertible Hotwheel for my collection.
I am just back from playing Santa.......Son wanted a Schwinn Stingray and daughter wanted a Remote Control H2.....PLUS all the other stuff... That load of moola I just dropped would have put a good chunk into my Eleanor fund.
Whatcha wanna bet the Bratz will have no feet and the Micro hotwheels will be eaten by Eddie before the sun sets on 12/25? BUT MANNNNNN that Chopper bicycle is cool!! Check it out: http://www.schwinnstingray.com/
My find for the day- a 1966 Mustang convertible Hotwheel for my collection.
12/7/04, 04:43 PM
#33
After all these years,
My C/T still sucks!
My C/T still sucks!
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To all you freezing up north- I wore shorts today....And my AC is on right now....... 
If Eleanor was home she would have been topless today. It was a SPECTACULAR day.
Merry Christmas to me if the cold weather would stay gone!
If Eleanor was home she would have been topless today. It was a SPECTACULAR day.
Merry Christmas to me if the cold weather would stay gone!
12/10/04, 10:00 PM
#34
After all these years,
My C/T still sucks!
My C/T still sucks!
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