A Christmas Story
12/6/05, 07:47 AM
#1
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A Christmas Story
'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!
I've busted my hiney for darn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady female doges cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those donkey doughnuts from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain't darn funny
Who the heck ever sent Santa Claus any money?
And the kids these days--they all are the pits
They want the impossible--Those mean little poos
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,
They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!
Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat hiney and draw unemployment.
There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season
'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!
I've busted my hiney for darn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady female doges cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those donkey doughnuts from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain't darn funny
Who the heck ever sent Santa Claus any money?
And the kids these days--they all are the pits
They want the impossible--Those mean little poos
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,
They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!
Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat hiney and draw unemployment.
There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season
12/6/05, 10:14 AM
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:bang:
Forgot about the L/F! That kinda takes away from it.
12/6/05, 10:52 PM
#8
Did he just say "de-chip er"? What's a "de chip er"? 
And yes, the LF added a nice little spice to it.
And yes, the LF added a nice little spice to it.
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