Cajuns Joke
#1
Two cajun hunters, Boudreaux and Thibodeaux, decide to go moose hunting in Canada. They hire an airplane to drop them off in a remote region. The pilot drops them off and tells them: "I'll be back in one week. No more than one moose - got it?"
One week passes, and the pilot returns. Boudreaux and Thibodeaux have two moose. The pilot says: "Hey, I told you guys no more than one moose." Boudreaux replies: "Look dat dere pilot told us de same t'ing last year and we gave him a *big* tip to take both moose out."
The three of them argue for several minutes more. The pilot gives up and
agrees to take both moose.
Well, they load up the moose and fire up the plane. The plane shudders and
strains trying to take off. It finally gets the wheels off the ground 5 feet,
10 feet.... Whoops! It runs out of runway and smashes into a tree.
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux, dazed and confused make there way out of the wreckage. Thibodeaux looks at the Boudreaux and says: "Where de heck are we?"
Boudreaux looks around and replies: "Im not sure, but I tink we are about 100 yards from de crash we had last year!"
One week passes, and the pilot returns. Boudreaux and Thibodeaux have two moose. The pilot says: "Hey, I told you guys no more than one moose." Boudreaux replies: "Look dat dere pilot told us de same t'ing last year and we gave him a *big* tip to take both moose out."
The three of them argue for several minutes more. The pilot gives up and
agrees to take both moose.
Well, they load up the moose and fire up the plane. The plane shudders and
strains trying to take off. It finally gets the wheels off the ground 5 feet,
10 feet.... Whoops! It runs out of runway and smashes into a tree.
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux, dazed and confused make there way out of the wreckage. Thibodeaux looks at the Boudreaux and says: "Where de heck are we?"
Boudreaux looks around and replies: "Im not sure, but I tink we are about 100 yards from de crash we had last year!"
#2
HAHAHAHAHHA... forwarding to some friends from Lousianna of mine!
#4
Pierre and Boudreaux wanted to go hunting, but didn't have a place to hunt.
Pierre said, "The old farmer down the road is a friend of mine. He's so old, that he can't even get out into his fields anymore. I'll bet he would let us hunt there."
When they got there, Pierre told Boudreaux that he would go into the house, and ask for permission to hunt on the farmer's land. Pierre went into the house, and his friend, the old farmer said, "That's all right with me, but could I get you to do me a small favor in return?"
The farmer said, "Mud Bug, my old hunting dog is so old, he is in constant agony. I need to put him out if his misery, but I just don't have the heart. Before you take to my fields, could you please use your gun and do it for me? He's in the front yard, he's in so much pain, he can't even make it into the house any more."
Pierre said that he would help the old farmer, and went out into the yard, to tell Boudreaux that they could hunt there.
As he was walking down the front steps, he got an idea for a joke that would scare Boudreaux.
When Boudreaux said, "Did he tell us we could hunt on his land?", Pierre, for a joke, said, "No, that's the meanest old farmer I've EVER met -- I'll show HIM!!" Then he shot the old dog, and said, "That'll show him."
Boudreaux ran to the farmer's barn, and Pierre fell on the ground, laughing, because he scared Boudreaux enough to run away and hide.
Suddenly, Pierre heard, "BLAM......BLAM." Then Boudreaux ran out of the barn, and shouted to Pierre, "O.K., I got the horse and cow... Now, let's get out of here."
#7
Weapon of choice
One day Boudreaux, him, he was sittin' in his coffee shop drinkin' a pop, when dis grate big fella come in and knocks him off da stool. The big fella say, "Dat was a karate chop frum Korea."
Boudreaux, him, he don't say nuttin', he jus get back on his stool an take anudder drink frum his pop.
WHAM! Da big fella knock Boudreaux down agin an' say, "Dat was a judo chop frum Japan." Boudreaux still don't say nuttin', he jus get up an walk out of dat coffee shop.
Bout a hour later, Boudreaux come back in an witout sayin nuttin', he walk up to dat big fella an WHACK! he knock dat big fella off his stool an knock him out cold.
Den Boudreaux tell da manager, "Mais, wen he wake tell him dat was a crowbar from da Home Depot."
One day Boudreaux, him, he was sittin' in his coffee shop drinkin' a pop, when dis grate big fella come in and knocks him off da stool. The big fella say, "Dat was a karate chop frum Korea."
Boudreaux, him, he don't say nuttin', he jus get back on his stool an take anudder drink frum his pop.
WHAM! Da big fella knock Boudreaux down agin an' say, "Dat was a judo chop frum Japan." Boudreaux still don't say nuttin', he jus get up an walk out of dat coffee shop.
Bout a hour later, Boudreaux come back in an witout sayin nuttin', he walk up to dat big fella an WHACK! he knock dat big fella off his stool an knock him out cold.
Den Boudreaux tell da manager, "Mais, wen he wake tell him dat was a crowbar from da Home Depot."
#8
A big city lawyer went duck hunting in south Louisiana. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, ole Boudreaux drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.
The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
Boudreaux replied, "Dis is my property, and you aint coming over here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in the United States and if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own!"
Boudreaux smiled and said, "well, you don't know how we settle these tings in da Bayou Country. We settle small disagreements like dis with the "Cajun Three Kick Rule.'"
The lawyer asked, "What is the Cajun Three Kick Rule?"
Boudreaux replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times, and so on back and forth until someone gives up."
The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. So, he agreed to abide by the local custom.
Boudreaux slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney.
His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees.
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth.
The lawyer was on all fours when Boudreaux's third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get onto his feet.
Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old coot. Now it's my turn."
Boudreaux smiled and said, "Naw, I was jus' kiddin, you can have dat duck."
#11
One day, Boudreaux was sitting on his porch and a truck drove up to Boudreaux's house and a man stepped out. The man introduced himself to Boudreaux, told Boudreaux that he was from Texas, and that he was getting some information about land in the area.
The Texan said, "Mr. Boudreaux, how much land do you have here where you live?"
Boudreaux said, "Mais, I have about two acres."
The Texan said, "That's not much land. Back in Texas where I'm from, it takes me just about all day to drive my truck down my driveway to my house."
Boudreaux thinks about what the Texan said for a while and then responds, "Yeah, I used to have a truck like dat."
The Texan said, "Mr. Boudreaux, how much land do you have here where you live?"
Boudreaux said, "Mais, I have about two acres."
The Texan said, "That's not much land. Back in Texas where I'm from, it takes me just about all day to drive my truck down my driveway to my house."
Boudreaux thinks about what the Texan said for a while and then responds, "Yeah, I used to have a truck like dat."
#12
Boudreaux's wife go to the local newspaper and say she want to put in the Obituary Column that Boudreaux died. They told her it would be $1.00 per word. She said, "Here $2.00. You put in dere dat BOUDREAUX DIED."
Editor said, "Surely you want more dan dat."
She say, "Mais, no, just Boudreaux died."
The editor said, "Well, you're a little upset. Brought youself back here tomorrow and you will probably tink of somethin' else."
Wife come back next day, and say, "Yeh, I taught of somethin else, here $5.00. You write BOUDREAUX DIED, BOAT FOR SALE."
#14
Originally posted by Treadhead@April 30, 2005, 1:19 AM
Thanks for the laughter Lynell! Those were quite funny.
Thanks for the laughter Lynell! Those were quite funny.
You're quite welcome, Jimmy. Glad you liked them. I love Boudreaux jokes.
#16
One day Boudreaux and Pierre decided to try a new fishin' spot over by Bayou La Fourche near Lacroix. Since it was so far from home they decided not to bring deir old leaky pirogue, figuring dat they could rent one when dey got to the landin'. Sure enough when they got dere, dat landing had plenty of dem spare pirogue to rent out. They paid da three dollar for da rental and set out to find a good fishin' spot.
They paddled around a few bend in da bayou before seeing what looked like a good spot. They started fishin' and immediately started catchin' some fine "sac au lait" (Sack-a-lay, white perch). After fishin' dere for most the day and catchin' plenty of dem fishes they decided it was getting late, and they best get back home before their wifes got mad at them! But, before leaving Boudreaux said, "Pierre, mark dat spot, we might want to come back here nex' time," so Pierre did.
They got back to de landing about dark, loaded up deir fishes and headed on back home. As dey wus drivin' home Bourdreaux asked, "Pierre how did you mark dat spot we were at?" Pierre answered, " I put a big X on the side of dat pirogue."
"Pierre!," Boudreaux shaking his head shouted, "Whats that matta with you? You put an X on the side of de pirogue??? How you know we gonna get dat same pirogue nex time??!!"
#17
Louisiana's own Boudreaux's Butt Paste
You Nascar fans prob saw the advertisement Heres a link
Yes, this really does exist. I used it on my babies, and it works!!! If you want some of the products, (including a Butt Paste Tshirt) Click HERE!
You Nascar fans prob saw the advertisement Heres a link
Yes, this really does exist. I used it on my babies, and it works!!! If you want some of the products, (including a Butt Paste Tshirt) Click HERE!
#18
Originally posted by southern_stang_girlee@May 13, 2005, 3:45 PM
Louisiana's own Boudreaux's Butt Paste
You Nascar fans prob saw the advertisement Heres a link
Yes, this really does exist. I used it on my babies, and it works!!! If you want some of the products, (including a Butt Paste Tshirt) Click HERE!
Louisiana's own Boudreaux's Butt Paste
You Nascar fans prob saw the advertisement Heres a link
Yes, this really does exist. I used it on my babies, and it works!!! If you want some of the products, (including a Butt Paste Tshirt) Click HERE!
Oh my god. I gotta get some butt paste I can't believe thats real!!!
#19
Originally posted by 1999 Black 35th GT@May 13, 2005, 2:36 PM
Oh my god. I gotta get some butt paste I can't believe thats real!!!
Oh my god. I gotta get some butt paste I can't believe thats real!!!
It is real, a pharmacist from LA concocked (sp?) the mix, and it worked, like a charm, so he sold it. We use to get it in a plain white jar, with some sticker on it. ... but he's big time now!! Who'da thunk it?
#20
What'll they think of next? I did see something weird on the road the other day. There were a pair of ********* hanging from an F-150's trailer hitch. I looked them up online. They're called "bumper nuts" Too bad I don't have a truck or there would be a pair on it