future9er24

for anyone who thinks we needed a documentation of "the 5 word story thread" here you go. the enitre thing n one big chunk As of December 30, 2004, 11:18 PM

C'mon, i was bored as heck..

Rhinocerous goes into a bar and says to the bartender “have you seen my rabbi?”
“No, I have not seen your rabbi, but I have Seen a '68 Vaseline Corvette”
“That doesn't help me, jerk!!”
“You want some of this? “
“Bring it oooooooonnn, monkey boy!!!”
-Bam- “what now rhino boy?!”
just then a woman with beautiful, long, silky, blonde hair enters the bar carrying a monkey and a baseball bat and a jar of Vaseline. She asked, "Is Brad here?"
Brad replies " no but Boomer had a monkey like that once, that was before his operation. That's not my business anymore. I sold my share of IMClone. Now the Feds are after me. I have to leave the country now!”
Rhinoceros wonders what happened to his rabbi, so he scratches his left foot and looks at the gooey mess between his hands and then ponders the meaning of meaningless meanings. When Suddenly 05MF entered with a jar of Vaseline asking “Do you like my supercharger?”
“No I'm a turbocharger guy”
“well screw you then” -punch-
“No, screw you.” -Karate chop-.
When, suddenly, Bruce Lee enters and a crow flies overhead.
“Hey, I thought you're dead”
“My spirit alone can kick back a six pack of beer and still whip you!” Bruce then sits down in the man eating chair, then quickly jumps out of it and is shot by 05MF and they lived happily ever after or did they? -dramatic music-
"Where's that coming from?" asks the man with the gun and the pink wig that flows over his manly shoulders into a big pile of something I’ve never seen before called Burningman's Slimy foot fungus and everyone realizes, that they were inside the matrix, then they leave the Toyota dealership and then 05mf quits drinking the turpentine, then eats some dog crap! Mmmm, dog crap. He realizes that his Arch-nemesis THE KITTEN walks in and sits beside him and asks
“Where's the cream filling you dirty no good pink pile of skanky dirty bar squeezins?!”
“Mmmm, skanky bar squeezins" lusts Dr Iven, the super stupid octopus, who eats little mice and uses the restroom regularly. Then, suddenly his urinary problem caused him to pee on the table across the room and happened to land on Burningman, putting out his burning desire. Desire for all things manly. He started to prance like a pretty little ballerina wearing a pink tutu. Suddenly Spiderman a/k/a JeffreyDJ appears, slinging a wet hanky and wipes the rhinoceros’s behind. The blonde is impressed, and wants to drop to her knees and start cleaning the floor with Bruce Lee's pink wig, that he wore in the Enter. The girly series, which he drops the soap in jail while serving time with Iven and Boomer . . . “wait a minute” thought our valiant hero, 05MF couldn’t stop talking about himself and staring at his picture. Suddenly the missing rabbi appears. He yells, "MustangSource.Com is the stinky site" he then reveals that he is secretly a lover of 05Mustangfan, and they share an awkward moment, when they break up only to have the rabbi shot by James Earl Jones' shaved Weasle.
"Pauly Shore SHAVED?!?" someone exclaimed. Horribly confused, our hero decided to kill himself. “Bye, bye cruel world, see you after the break. Now a word from our sponsor, themustangsource.com is THE Mustang website. You can trust with troll-free posts And, as a further bonus a free (one word) with every Big Mac, fries, and drink We now resume or regularly programmed giant long tailed monkey”
“I've been drinking too much” said the stupid Dr Iven upon which, his pants exploded Soaking the surrounding bar with what ever was left of his trousers and the remaining body parts he had left in his girlfriends sports bra. he then proceeded to the local Home Depot for ten minutes. After taking a dump at the local Pizza Hut he continued on his way to clean his wife with the cow tongue he'd bought on ebay for the price of a third-world country. Then the dentist walked in. He soon realized he had forgot his tools, so he left, leaving behind an awful stench of whiskey and fish. In walked an old loud Rhesus Monkey, which flung poo hitting a slouching supermodel square on her navel. It bounced up to her man made *****, then back down to her pet midget, Nona, Sadly staining her oompa loompa outfit which caused our god, Brad King of Mustang Forums, Ruler of the dingy and down-trodden to fling Nora into a bottomless pit, thereby sealing the stench of poo. Meanwhile, back at the bat cave, Robin and Batgirl made out, then Brad's wife, discovering that Robin was actually a gay man who had painted the batmobile pink, and batgirl was Brad Because of the unusually small costume constraints about the nethers the entire thing was cancelled.
Suddenly, in walked Roy Orbison Wearing black tights and asks "where did you put my Black Guitar and black underwear?”
“I last saw it when that rhinoceros in the bar Stuck his horn in your nose." Bill Gates walked in And told Roy he had better be checked for crabs because he's hungry for crab Bill then sits at the Bar and orders another round of whiskey. The large green booger hangin from his nose. He sneezes and the booger dematerializes into thin air. Back At the Microsoft ranch, Bill sits, and throws another $1,000 on the fire and asks “anyone seen my pants? I Can't remember after last night. I woke up in Vanilla Sky” he continued, "speaking of Vanilla…”
Just then an asteroid slammed Into the back of his pants, he then let out a yell because it hit a sensitive region on his body and burst into flames. meanwhile he asks his mom “what is the meaning of Having weapons of mass destruction while gumby and pokey are crying. Across the country in Puxatawny”, Bill Murray was wondering if groundhogs are very nutritious. he then decides to find some popcorn in which to munch on as he watches a groundhog cook. After it Gives birth to a large gun wielding evil gerbil monster In walks Ronald McDonald smoking A pickled herring and gives Dairy Queen a large wet green Slip and Slide for Kip's Big Boy. 'Boy blasts His best friend Fred and then crys. The slide then Bursts in half and begins a downward spiral where Gandalf is secretly watching Frodo. Suddenly Frodo notices Gandalf. "You PerVERTed ogre, I hope you know Bernie. Oh my, you have Have big feet to kick yourself in the butt and hang gliding in the Alps! Meanwhile Bernie finds the lost colon of Col. Sanders. This leads to recipe changes, adding dog poo on a stick. The brash young model, Gretchen Walking naked on the runway Prompting men to stay seated fell down. She soon realized her ***** had the unexpected desire of being touched by the estranged gentlemen in awe Having touched them he cried “I can't believe it's not silicon!" and then pitched forward. Dying from delight from the amazing revealaztion that they are natural. Just then, a grizzly bear ran from backstage into Dressing room and ripped the lights from the ceilings, leaving a gaping hole where the people couldn't see. No lights. Through the hole a large mutant bumble bee flew into The ear of Tom Hanks.
"Momma always said 'EAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!' " exclaimed Jesse James as he steppedin a big pile of Honey Dijon Mustard, it smelt like a sweet, sweet summer earwig caught in your dark side of the moon CD while watching Wizard of Oz and eating left over, old cold, twice cooked raviolis found reaching under the sofa cushions. A black hole opened up you could see the abyss stinking this story into it. Having lost one story to start up another, we playfully got in the mustang, and go fora 3 hour tour when suddenly out of nowhere an enormous, amazing, stupendous, astounding super goat, used to pull the Oxcart of the Universe arrived with a bounty of astral melons, juicy, tasty, and ready to eat. Then A Zillion Corvettes Ran From GM to find a better car, and they found a 1978 Toyota Corolla, which was actually in very good shape for considering all the rust and other things it didn't have but of course it had really bad grammar.
Which a Japanese auto maker said “you have a really bad comb over. try propecia and come back in five weeks and if that doesn't work shave your head bald and do the milk/dog lick trick. Then pound your head with a rusty axle. When attempting this rub your eye with habaneras. Don't forget to apply the Rogaine on your butt to ensure a soft cushion of hair that would be enjoyed by all for many years. That depends on how many gay ricers want a piece of yummy birthday cake. So they apply bench as spoiler for old people to sit on. When they get annihilated by mustangs you can actually see the sky turning sadder shades of blue.”
It was about 5am when the alarm started to play. time to go to work. so the clock was slammed and mashed about. Using a big, humongous, piece of metal that was removed from the buttocks of a large illegal immigrant maid. So the maid decided to find a job elsewhere as a narcotic undercover agent from Libya. This didn't work out because she loved the drugs that she confiscated. Then she met an old woman wearing large to talk about with apes.
She played with the green turf for a while, but it wasn't as much fun as playing with her furry poodle, a temperamental dog that can play the banjo with its paws. Suddenly, out from the dark dank cave came the guy who sharpens hats. Useless, but he smelled like fried chicken so the poodle started to circle in vain looking for a fire hydrant to do the number two as usual but after circling for several minutes she found a large sign directing her to a repository for all things big, small, and generally filled with flavorful 1000 year-old birds brains from the dark side of the moon. This Explains the reason why she can't stand up straight on top of hairy fat guys and the like. This story continues with the introduction of stupidly stupid things that are stupid. When will it ever dawn on people, that sometimes games like this are Very incredibly stupendously absolutely Pointless and dumb. It should end somewhat stupidly, leaving it open for a new game based on this, but not anything like the game that was just completed. But when you consider the popularity of this pointless game with its 1000 plus replies you realize that the real kick in the pants is that it won't die. So, if you don't like playing the game then get a new hobby. This is the game that uses your brain and starts amassing large post counts while you seemingly do absolutely nothing but type in a few words. It's a great way to kill another 30 seconds of life or more. This game lost 15 members due to the totally super insane amounts of useless garbage stuffed into one super, extra tiny little post. It's time to sharpen my hat, is this what we've really become? an angry army of mindless sharpeners of the hat. Odd, since we're all 'Stang freak crazy and focusing on our inner being while contemplating what to do about these
rampant green mutant camels who lay big, fat, rainbow colored jellybeans, which attracts the native clowns to breed. It's a weird combination of red nose and white make-up, mixed together with red dye from the special juices from the rare Norwegian hooty hoo that loves to dance. This dye is then made into little footballs that makes Coach Ditka sing, quickly while putting them on the clowns and taking down phone numbers, he Took off to drink beer His usual seat was taken so he sat next door in the Irish Pub that had a bartender named Seamus. Seamus eyed the newcomer and said “oh hello there lad that drink there is going To cost you five bucks and an incoherant story” so he read him this tale that goes like this.
“I remember when i was just a wee little lad i use to hang out Down the road with Dad. Blowing by Camaros in his radio flyer wagon. Only after taking three sheets to the wind did we stop and take a peek at the Mighty Mustang Cobra Parked in the parking lot next to the dry cleaner with the strip bar right next to it Bob Dole jumps out holding coupons. Buy one get one With extra cheese but then His other arm stopped working And got packed to move What an odd
Mistake that mustv'e been when you dove into That pile of nasty smelly disgusting old female G-strings covered in gobs and gobs of from and :drive: because Snakeeyes forced you into buying that old and ugly hooker from the morge! Then he made you have your dog get neutered because he dislikes dogs with Diarrhea so then the cops came and took all of the dog's luxurious parachute pants back from MC-Hammer. now Hammer Time has started tearing down the golden gates and the dog is the son of Goliath, who began killing people by doing terrible things such as making you eat your own vomit and go to the room that was full of cloned Rob Zombie... ummm... ZOMBIES who were flesh eaters and really liked to drink milk because it made their teeth Rattle, shake, hum and shine Michael Jackson walks up and Grabbed a little boys hiney then he ran real fast and hit his head on his sister Janet's set of big, enourmous, humongous, extremely large pet snakes named monty and python, who were on her car because of the heat drinking Bud light and looking for some frogs to drink because they're good eatin' with Gravy and biscuits to sop. Once the meal was completed, they turned their heads towards the sky and looked up and were instantly hit by a mustang that came from green aliens from outer space who had modified it to fly back home after the bees came from the tailpipes giving it a little extra kick that it needed to get going so it wouldn't be absorbed by the purple blob that lived under the rock by the house that sat on a wooded hillside. This house was once the home of the ugly lady Who came out on her broom holding a bottle of disgusting 20 year old black, moldy beer that smelled like a super size big mac meal which had been inside a dumpster filled with rotten trash and an old rusty Camaro. Not forgetting the sick skunk in the small dark trunk the beer was drunk by an odd looking ground hog who lived in a hole near Bill Clintons old out house, where he kept the interns chained to the wooden wall, but over in the corner I was pounding a beer when this chick walked up and whispered in my ear “Are you straight or Queer?”
I didn't dignify it with an answer I just flexed my muscle and said I had to go home soon because the twins were waiting The boys would be angry because i had done this before with very bad results. I decided to drive home even though I was wasted. The road kept on moving after I hit the tree. The rabbit helped me out and said his name was Joe. then he told me to eat him with a garlic dip and nice Chianti (cue Hannibal lecter noises!)
“Mmmm.. that's one tasty critter” I thought as I tore, but suddenly at the horizon the rabbit's whole family appeared they were armed and dangerous as they came hopping towards me aiming their huge guns and saying, "ehhhhh what’s up”
I quickly grabbed a handful of Trix cereal, and began taking their eyes out one by one, then i awoke to find myself sitting in an enormous, cavernous rabbit warren so i tried to dig my way to the surface when I got out, I saw the Monty Python cast. they told me to get a life and to buy a new 05 black with a bench-looking spoiler, TinCan exhaust Honda Civic sedan. I punched him, and put soap in his mouth. Like Ralphie, blindness was like being in a warren, but he managed to recover and kick me in the ding-ding.
“Is that one or another Ford Salesman” I asked. Its the jerk who said "I wanna hear the cannon!!!" did the cannon have *****? he only has 2 left! he held them up pretending to juggle like a clown. When he was done juggling he shoved a pencil up my big, humongous, scary looking pencil sharpener, "it's always better when you feel the burn" he mentioned as flames licked his fingers from the spinning wheel spinning round. He decided to buy a mustang and then remembered Emberglo wasn't offered. He proceeded to throw things and kick the ford engineer Right in his ding-ding
The engineer yelled out a "It's Marketing's fault! Kick them!" he then ran crying to His mama who told him "there'll be days like these" And still, no Mustang bought. So the man went out to the top of a hill to look for a carrier. And much to his surprise he saw an alien riding a big red space rock when it suddenly hit earth And the alien ran into a Z28 owner. He took the Camaro and flew to Mississippi where he met his long lost mother in law with the mullet. the alien Immediately fell in love with her and started to dry the tears from his face when she sneezed at him and big green boogers hit the hood of his girlfriend's white trash princess Camaro, so they traded it in for A shiny ugly pink firebird with a wing bigger than a park bench. So they ripped it off and threw a body in the trunk. Then they went off to April’s house to bother her incessantly about her decision making but Surprise! She’s finally decided. Just then a weregiraffe galloped up and banged it's head on the weretree's low branches. Grrrrrr said the graceful weregiraffe. “Don’t know what you’re saying 'cause I don't speak weregiraffe”
"It's Common in Transylvania" said the girl who said “stopit I was there when Clinton played sax for a hoot with monica playing the flute made Hillary into a brute. So he moved to Yugoslavia where he fell in lust with an eastern bloc car. So he stole one from Alabama and ran off to marry a giraffe. They had 3 little inbred Mississippi babies who grew up'n moved to Vegas where they worked in making the worlds greatest, biggest most enormous waffle the world. but they forgot the syrup!!! so instead put on honey on their next great adventure They journeyed to the East across Valhalla, and the great pumpkin looks down at his Enemies, who carry pie crust for the great cheesing of the nearest Honda dealer who says "Sasquatch." Suddenly, the story takes an unexpected turn, Thor ran out of the woods and shouted “Boo” to the big black cat sitting on the rather dead bull elephant who smelled quite like a rotting pumpkin in a elephant's butt, so Thor took a long deep breath of the tulip he had in his hammer handle and thought "thy shall devour thou elephant" After first eating the yellow snow in the front yard of the 12 tiny reindeer he puked. Then Thor thought "alas, I’m out of gas" Just then a Pump Attendant Came running up to him with a very long hose and proceeded to stick it in the chariot attached to the huge pair of white
wild horses, who never gave the little reindeer anything but Thor the time of day because Thor has no one To love or call when he feels an urge to bang something with his hammer. I’m told was short and had a broken handle that was crooked and very sticky and a big fat crook who had a strong odor that reeked of new money so he tried t'spend it but found odor isn't accepted on that fine new currency. So he had to get a visa check card. Its everywhere you want to be but he still couldn’t buy the black convertible with a black convertible top and a vortex supercharger with two black quarter window louvers. Instead he decided to buy the only good team: 49ers from the 80's, he then made time machine to take Joe Montana from his prime and sneak him aboard the Titanic for a trip to paradise without the grumpy kids. But instead he found himself There he was in Hawaii basking in the light of an interrogation room because he forgot to bring his green umbrella on the big ship. He threw interrogators 70yds for the first completion of the Hawaiian all star team's game. McGarret said "Book 'im Danno." But then came Ronnie Lott!! To see Franz Ferdinand Jam, an interesting flavor with tartness which made him pucker his big lips and yell "moma"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! as shrieking music from Psycho played from a nearby dingy which suddenly began to sink into the deep dark mire off the Burmuda triangle causing Streisand music to horrifyingly play with George Jones leading the chorus.
Then came Mest playing old battered harmonicas believing they could woo the souls of the battalion of troops that had died fighting the ferocious fight in the WWF but The Rock was making movies while his pals were making moves on all the ladies who have hidden from the big bad wolf in the nearby rain forest behind the low carb gingerbread house that wicked witch consumed a pot of toads eye stew when I awoke, "that was weird" I coulda had a v8 but they only had v6 so they drove it like the boys always do on the fourth of July wearing their wildest colors of chartreuse, puce, mauve and pistachio. They decided to take off from Wal-Mart and head toward the riverchase galleria in Hoover to buy a bag of rusty nails to poke holes in a police car parked by the home depot located out back of the City dump where the putrid festering pile of garbage from the Mayors office that contained a lot of peppermints and cheese curds that made him vomit when he thought about this story. Amazingly everyone is still adding to The garbage and waste to fit in. they should get a real life and find a hobby that isn't sedentary so they can go find enlightenment in a much better place that is full of chocolate, beer, popcorn and other excellent tasting things that you can only find in a wonderful store like World Market. Though few knew World Market is the destroyer of worlds and hated by the evil suits who own stores like Wal-Mart, Home Depot and Macy's and because JC PENNYS went out of their way to buy out the big, huge parking garage beside the local bar which just happens to be right next door to the big huge parking garage that has a drawbridge and a moat for the protection of the little green men in their big white coats, who had just arrived from the north pole bearing gifts.
Rudolph had fallen off the wagon again, and hurled into a tiny garbage can that was filled with broken bottles caused by the ever increasing SCREAMS of joy made by Santa's elves on top of the candy cane forest located inside a cold dark place filled with green and red and purple striped candy canes which magical turned into a Screaming Yellow Mustang! needless to say I was ecstatic enough to actually have three panic attacks in the dealer show room floor in sheer shock for getting my Hot banana yellow mustang for an amazing price of one dead ford Bronco that is mercifully in car Hades sitting beside a rare Ford metro that is painted green with pink polka dots and a fuzzy little tutu which surprisingly April wore to her prom back in the day. when she went out with the man from U.N.C.L.E who drove a Ford Pinto and you are all crazy yes, we know!! The pinto suddenly sprouted wings and flew into the Bermuda triangle where it disappeared..... back now to our regularly scheduled program already forgotten because of the many weather bulletins from the meteorologist talking about the possibility of a white Christmas in Alabama.
“Brrrrr” shivered the Blue Penguin thinking about the tropical ocean although he wouldn't like that he left behind to come down to Panama City beach where the hurricanes had been to take captain Andersons away. “Ooo Arrrgh” said the captain as the rebuilding was delayed because the tourists formed a mob protesting the killing of the Pinto in the Bermuda triangle but alas it was dead but it had birthed a wild horse called the mustang. Known as the twin of the thing that came from outer reaches of Chevy's new cobalt which is really ugly when sitting beside the new imaginary 2007 hugger orange Camaro with the new improved aluminum intake manifold that won't rust and will never fail under even the most harsh conditions unless candy canes are stuffed in the tailpipes. Axel Foley gave Santa the business when he found out he had been smuggling illegal fishing products that were contaminated by the deadly coolant tank of an alero. Which can only be found at Susan schein Chevy eww because they are known for working you over quite good with a baseball bat and a huge jar of Vaseline while sticking a very large toxic green rod up your nose and slamming a huge bunny over your head repeatedly until presents came out of the coin slot out back of the new ghetto in Toledo. Santa was very, very drunk and out of his sled when the reindeer said Theyse snakes on that mustang and the snakes can only drink Jack Daniels from a plastic cup in a brown bag which only comes from the liquor store from space, which can only be reached by a monkey powered blimp which is only produced in the great southern state of Alabama. Known for its hospitality and its deliverance-like small towns far in the north just outside a Quickie Mart, where everyone comes to drink and play ‘hog tie the outsiders’ and throw them into the slimy slurpee mix outside of the store by the dumpster, that contains a jar of Vaseline. Upon opening the Vaseline they saw the most beautiful chunk of blue cheese that was miraculously not rotted or smelly but did have a bad nasty odor that smelled of feet.
Will this story ever end? I hope this story will go on forever and ever go on forever and ever for eight long, long months. almost as long as a average wait for the mustang. but the wait is better if you buy from stock. although from buying stock means others have played with it which can mean broken equipment but happily under warranty which was unfortunately void because the dang kid hot rodded it with a tri-wing and stickers he bought from the local rice-a-roni your car store from San Francisco, a real treat. ever the trooper he began to ride back to Alabama…

houtex

DUDE!!!!

That is the most awesomest story I ever read. I was laughin' sooo hard at some of it. Very nice, thanks for takin' the time. I had always wondered what it would read like if put together. Funnay!

EleanorsMine

Jeez..... our lifes work condensed into one post........

Thats frigging hilarious.

future9er24

in another couple o months i think i'll update it

PaulF

I'm calling someone that tomorrow....I don't care who.

Man, how could anyone have a come back for that?

Lalo

amazing job, Arin! thanks... i had some good laughs

2005GT_Redfire

Thats Awesome... you must have been really really REALLY bored

future9er24

^ you gots that right. it was this or write an essay of literary analyseis of RK Narayan's writing.... what would you pick

jgsmuzzy

Ooooooohhhh my head hurts.................

Arin, you deserve a medal for doing that......(I was thinking of it myself!) Well done mate!!!!

future9er24

James, i think i deserve to be on a banner *cough*scothew*cough*. or a tshirt

bored again (while TMS was down and a lil bit right now) sooooooo......

as MTV once said: “part Deaux”


he realized flying was faster, but was unable to find the white flag with red X which funnily looks like headlights that shine bright in the rain even though they were covered with a thin layer of birds guts and a black sports bra, when suddenly a chemistry teacher started explaining Stoichiometry which is obviously the study of stoiches. Thor returned carrying the flaming torch which he found under a rock down by the pits of heck below the ever-present jar of Vaseline which was used in making clay sculptures shaped like ponies that were used for scaring would be ricers from the highways to deter street racing. which should only be at your local drag strip by seasoned professionals who have many hours of lunacy under their wheels because they hit a mighty eight point buck which jumped in his new Jeep 4x4 and then hit a Norseman called Odin, the great hangover cure wizard of 2005, though his powers had weaked. with the millions to cure, the endless supply of stupidity became rampant as the spread of new years joy became evident to everyone who saw the moose raiders from planet grass who were known for their big ole huge giant pair of imported wooden clogs, each twelve pounds and of equal sturdiness as an under wire bra. the bra of course came with lacy trim and adjustable straps for those women that feel the need to adjust the tightness or looseness depending which way she was looking. if she was looking right straight at the magic mirror or at a brick wall that fell on a Chevy. then she'd be loose, right? “Wrong”, she said, while using her new weed eater on the yellow **** carpet in the bathroom in her new doublewide trailer home located in outer Mongolia where Hannibal was playing merry games with thor. Unknown to Thor game meant hitting each other with sticks which were the size of thousand year old oak trees growing in the forest at the upper Talladega national forest. Ever watching as the cars zoomed at over 200 mph knocking over spectators and their mamas driving pick up trucks because the Dads were in prison missing their hound dogs.

"We need to find a way to change the direction of the winds of change before they can change the giant lightbulbs in the lighthouse while eating cheese sandwiches and playing the Texas hold em”

they were interrupted by the law with big guns showing belly fat from eating the many donuts over at shipleys. Shipleys had gotten it's name when a ship hit lee ermy and damaged his upper bicep resulting in much pain although luckily he brought along many happy bottles of Excedrin dipped in liquor and old tennis shoes smelling of foul dirty socks and feet that went through a pig farm and got stuck in mud which was laced with dirty girls floating about the muck. Thor decided it was great and a very healthy meal so he let out a huge fart, that smelt very much like a dozen roses. If roses were covered in chocolate icing with sprinkes and chocolate ice cream under there with bacon on the top. Meanwhile zeus was walking the big old giant mangy dog with three heads, whatzisname, uh whatzisname became angry and began beating the dog on the nose with an old rusty garden tool use back when thor was a young angle and lived in biloxi Mississippi before the terrible debate of going to hades for gambling but liquor was quicker and it tasted way better, like the lips of a beautiful brunette we all dream about but can't have because we always had our heads under the hood of our stangs loving the power of the mighty horsepower we can harness by simply opening up the supersecret compartment located in the gas tank beneath the lower flux capacitor which only works with the dual oscilating pinrod. when it goes 88 mph the pinrod pushes the vintrex and the tires start flaming as the car starts towards AND it flys into space and Michael J. Fox screams, “HANG ON DOC I'M COMING but I don't know if I will ever make it to the outer reaches of the milky way where aliens living with seguorny weaver are battling each other with swords se their phazers were not properly configured for space fighting.”

suddenly they dropped their swords and picked up a dictionary and began a spelling lesson because they don't have a spell check on their computer but what they do have is the supercoolest websters ever whose names can be found in the great book of knowledge found at the base of the great oak tree close to the intersection of main street and elm lane in the little known town of sprott in lower Alabama. upon finding the book there they immediately fled north because many wild chickens got loose, they are such hussies, and don't know when to quit.
“quit what”, asks winky dink.
"Quit bein' stupid!" exclaimed Quinellimisheldaraeski. Or you will get beaten…betcha cant pronounce my name"

“if I pronounce it then i win a new mustang” but sadly only a 1986 which can be used as can opener on the new improved spectacular super yellow mustang of course you attach it with two silver cobra snakesheld in place by the used chewing gum found under tables in the food court in King Arthurs humble abode. he got sick when he learned his daughter had become a very loose porcupine who likes hot summer days with cold lemonade with a little twist of rum in it. after drinking she likes to get up on the table and dance with her favorite ugly short bald headed man that waxes his head every and night using turtle wax to help form water beads for the silver pole installed to the ceiling at the nearby club by name of platinum. which is a front for comics that are drawn badly by artist Van Gogh using paintbrushes with fine hairs from a saint Bernard. anyway this bald saint Bernard rescued snowed in people from countries near the equator because everyone knows about all the snow. they sometimes get along with sleet and ice plus the occasional volcano eruption from the great stone mountain in Georgia. which is where I am never going to go ever because camaro lovers with sniper rifles love to snipe us mustang owners because they are jealous of our influnce on the fox body mustang community around outer mongolia and all points Forward. The mongolians enjoyed celebrating the killing of the huns and much feasting on leg of oxen and drinking of much ale and harassing of lasses.
meanwhile at sky kings ranch Bill Ford was playing the the ukelele and sang Numanuma:
"Alo, alo, sunt eu Picasso,"
then someone threw spaghetti at the numa numa guy because he looked hungry and had been doing an odd dance caled the twist. It was not lewd since Elvis had done it on the popular hood of a 1965 Ford, however elvis needed levitra--Hey! I get an extra word!--because his body had a really wierd, rather fleshy protusion in middle of his forehead covered with a dirty sock. But he really enjoyed the boozing, womanizing and fred the tropical camel who helped him find the meaning of the way to find new ways to grow fingernails way long. It had something to do with not biting them anymore. he used a chainsaw to slowly cut through the chains, or chain up the saws, so he could be free to apply for a loan at zero interest for 72 cans of delicious Dr Pepper.

As of Today, 12:15 AM pg 60

houtex

I LOVE these. Keep gettin' bored, man!

:headbang:

future9er24

hey, im in high school, its bound to happen sooner or later.

FrankBullitt05

Interesting...


I was laughing so hard, I only made it through the first half of the 1st post

future9er24

im taking my time, but i hope to be finished up until the most recent post by say... tomorow

future9er24

which we all know is called coke in thegreat southern state od allabammy. known for possum, grits and extremely irritable squirrels with 12-gauges that never learned to talk. so they chattered incomprehensibly at the country folk who weresitting on the porch eating cheese whiz from the can!!!!!!!!! while listening to the rusty while playing on the banjo, whose strings promptly snapped and confusedly asked “whats a ‘rusty?”
“its what you call non-fords”

The farmer decided to seekout the opinon of a vampire who had the knowledge of the wherabouts of the flying Dutchman who possesd the gold plated chunk of rust. so he was on the pathto the forbidden woods of Green Bay, Wisconsin. it took great courage for everone’s fears had just been realized because the titanic had been lurking behind the iceburg. Leo jumped onto the iceburg and found that he forgot his shoes. looking down at the iceburg he envisioned a future of solid dihydrogen monoxide. the truth hurts. though he needed to hear lies whispered in his bad ear. he was deaf in—not only deaf but also dumber than a bag ofpopcorn found at the local nasty movie theater located near the outskirts of the iceburg. The theater was closed for frozen pipes in the women’s restroom so he decided to visit the nearest dead animal to take a leak. although he tried he was sadly unable to perform because of blockage from the huge oblivious matter that Capone had stuck far up in his bleeding nose caused by his pitchfork in his left pocket which he had stolen from Bill Fords fox body mustang, an SVO, from 1986, it was ahead of its time even though it was quite different in its appearance abd color cnaging depending on the mood ring he wore on the valve stem. which is attached to his old rotten broken camera from the ugly ogre with green teeth locatedv in his cup of coffee. Everyone was scared to touch the coffee because you could get scalded and go sue Barney’s in Southside because they needed some money to buy an iceburg to fill the bathtub with beer on the superbowl! As the game began, suddenly Janet Jackson came running with (April says: this pregame show blows goats) a pregam show that blows (MikieB says: hey, you lined it up for me) from hillbilly to even worse, the dreaded Oakland stadium filled with water enough to drown a rat. Justin timberlake began staling beer and ripping bras until the FCC cracked down while I was sleeping on a TemperPedic mattress on a very small and uncomfortabnle airplane. The airplane was not very fast, so it pooped outafter it safely landed in john broens corn field which only grew pop corn so they drug out butter and salt. while their pants were off they shaved their hairy legs, but they didn’t stop there. everyone soon has bald heads and hair flew everyehere. some of it landed in my warm fresh spaghetti sauce that was made by Italian mama named rosa who couldn’t speak a aword of gibberish is all she spoke. but she made good spaghetti. people always told her that she smelled of rotten eggs because she lioved in the house made of rotten eggs. she used lots of perfume to hid the truth, whichwas she had horrid BO that came from her next kin, Mario and luigi. (the next five words were removed because the typer feels that they havev no signaficane and are too far off topic even for off topic ) although luigi loved his ricer Mario was a Nintendo mode and really loved princess toadstool. but her one true love was a donkey named kong who liked to swing himself from vines and throw brown barrels filled with bananas from way in the middle of the tiny non-backlit little screen unbtil the batteries wore out. then everyone got bored anddecided to play the new pin the tail on the Tangerin Mustnag II that finally arriced while 05’s were taking forever.

some just picked one up while others just waited for the my color and other crap although some items were weirdly way too like hot wings (April says: holy crap I jast ate atomic wings from Zaxbys, Jecris those things burn) like the wings of the (the typer sighs, this is gonna be a looong day) Military fighter jest I fly (Vanessa says: April try the Insane ones from Zaxvys they are worse) over the swiss alps in hot burning screaming jabenero pepper with lemon chicken over rice. While flying over the alps this time it didn’t crash (the typer says #$%@ this, im not typing all your stupid little messages to eachother any more, unless they’re REALLY REALLY good. there ) because of the expertise of the best pilot ever made, named otto, he coul;d be dead stone drunk and still not fly a plane or notice if he was in peril. suddenly the jet starts awailing and jumping an jiving and everyone laughed while jumpingon the table at the local nudie bar named Sammys. Sammy being a good friend offered up his best dancer, prancer and vixen, sadie klause. they got bored and left because they weren’t getting any good tips or free drinks. I always get free drinks but sometimes it doesn’t work. usually when there aren’t enoughdrunks out in the crownd the picture always turn out realy bad and off track which makes me laugh after something accentual gets caught peeking where their eyes shouldn’t be. their eyes were located int the back of their heads so they could see where they had already been but the left eye had a sexy black patch coveringh th oozing coming from the inner cranium because he got stuck to a telescope when he suddenly decided to walk away, draggin the telescope to the top of duble oak mountan where the view of the loverly city below made it appear heavenly in a strange green accentuated bu the shape of nuclear reactorslocated on the coosa river. the reactors began to spit goo in his patchless eyeand made it fall out but it popped back in. The force of the popmade him desire a mustang but his parents sayed “NO!” so he saved his money but had to wait forever (typer says: hey tyhis sounds familiar ) to get a brand new AMC pacer with 80 horsepwer which he traded for 80 horses and made them into dog food and fed it to the coyotes lingering in affluent suburbia. The coyotes began gathering at the bottom of the hill but they decided to cannibalize and tore eachother up and share the body partsand wuit to go shopping at the native store in milqaukee.they had to walk through miles and mines and rows of evil mother torturing their neighbors with hideous balck words spewing out their moths and SUVs bigger than mountans running over and killing innocent mustang-driving hillbillies from Alabama. (don’t kill me april The survivors in turn killed ( April says: hey arin, remember norm and scott and brad are also “mustang driving hillbillies from Alabama, hope they don’t kill you ) those who would speak against the supercool Alabama Mustang drivers who all knew about the different ways to embarrass arin. only southerners can understand the fact that we are supercool.

For being supercool we get short winters and long summers or sometimes no winter unsitl last December which is great because spring usually starts in March. but California’s always sunny ( the sexiest 16 year old to ever have a fro says: hey april, im not worried, what else can they do to me? :knocks on wood: ) not this month, rain rain, go away, come bacn Wednesday. when the snow stops itsfriggin hot and very sunny. meanwhile at the beach we swim and frink fruity daquiris and passed out in the shade of a palm tree.
which promptly fell over onto the monkey who peed on it. the monkey lost his monkey but bought a plastic one with a fine leather belt to put around his ankle with a top hat and the finest of pimp canes. but little did he know, He couldn't find any ladies who were bold and beautiful to sleep in Hawaii with a bag of marbles and a big giant pirhana eating the flesh of a squirrell and a few porcupines .The quills began to split and shoot in all directionpooting the snakes who were facing backwards shaded screaming yellow screw drivers they bought at long screwus where everyone blows a horn on the top of and broke my beer bottle when he denied you A-plan and gave you a load of BS for being a woman . so you gave him a kick in the ding ding . he yelped like a dingo and doubled over in pain "ok ok, ill take A-plan"
but we sell sticker only.... .so you took out ur .45 and blew out the tires on his stupid ugly G6 and the police came rolling in on their happy CVs. no one is to blame because everyone was invisible and noone could see them scream though you cant see screamsbut here in Luka world screams come out in color followed by the loud sound . this one was hot pink and had the pony package , so you decided to buy the heighbors Yugo with a 2hp 1cylender engine, and 20" rims and purple hopping chassis built out of crayons and broken candles. it smelt of hot pink crap and A-Planbut the deal fell through after waiting bazillions of years so they bought a goat and made some stinky cheese which they then put between the goats ears so it wouldnt smell like nasty goat ear wax and soften the goat up for the jamaican roast to be captured by the Fine people of west alabammy. who in turn were eaten by southern baptists of sprott. which coincidentally rhymes with "scott". Whose gonna get you yet to buy the old Yugo at Wally World located (ok what the heck! how many times are you albamians gonna say 'located'? every single time its either norm, or april. im sick of it! dont mind me, im just cranky :P ) behind the rock in my front yard (also, doug hasnt grasped the meaning of FIVE word story yet :P ) Which just Happened to open into the local garbage dump managed by a hairy old woman who lived down by the river was shaving her beard when suddenly arose an alligator garand he bit off her left ear and blood started spurting all over the ground where the coyotes were and they lapped the blood up through a straw they had pilfered from the circle k.The local Mexicans began to eat the local farmers eggs and immediately found a beak beaker* of water to drink because they swallowed a leg which was on sale for 14.99 price reduced from 19.99 because Walmart was trying to lure folk into their store to purchase the old rotten stringy meat and rotted producetopped off with a nice piece of old warm cheese from the hills in the northeast mountains of hazzard county where the Dukes and the sheriff Roscoe chase each other
around chevys that broke down while trying to keep up with Dougs 2004 Mystic Kenne Bell (ha!) .Suddenly Mr Bell started tocough up blue exhaust fumes starting a major fire around the cornfield mustang race track as they had just begun unfreezing Steve Mcqueen to race his 2004 Kenne bell Cobra without anything on but his ugly white bvds and socks people were shocked that hewas representing mattel toy company and brought a barbie for his spoiled little girl Buffy who is also known for being mean to other little girls and slaying vampires and eating stuffthen spitting on an old crabby woman who calls police everytime Dougs KB Cobra smokes LS1's but only in his dreams.where he gets two superchargers but he has no money so he robs a bank in the middle of nowhere and walks away with a broken trigger finger. He escaped tofind the police in the way out town of slapout.Slapout was known for its drag strip and redneck types who drank beer and ate possum,squirrel,armadillo and deer after killing and drinking their (norm says: did you know armadillos carry leprosy?) milwaukees best and mountain moonshinethey became sick and spewed beer vomit everywhere and then they stinked it up with hunan chicken from bamboo garden not made from chicken but a tiny little dog or cat.

the beer vomit was acidic and wore a hole in the ground. it went in all ears of the possums in the 'bama. the possums mutated into 2004 Mystic Kenne Bell Cobra which we're tired of hearing even tho Dougs not and hes not of driving age i am still taller then you Don't matter I'm a girl and i like girls, some of em I love them all when they are with you atthe movies. im even taller :P But I have four Stangs . and now back to our friendly rhinocerous in the bar (finally, back on topic ) the slapout rednecks began totease his big horn. Mr. Rhino stuck one of the patrons with his green rhino horn and injected poisonous rhino venom in their bulbous redneck butts . they writhed in rednecky then got out the shotguns and put them to their ugly thick grey rhino heads and pulled the trigger, then rhino guts scattered all over everyones plates. free for all but nobody likes rhino meat so they sent it back and ate roast possum instead but it tasted like rubber so they quit and got drunk. but they weren't all happy-drunks some cried in their beers and some others threw them out of the juke joint up because they were about noses. the bartender stood up and played a tune on his harmonica. it was atune from Dixie called "when rinoceri explode". the crowd went wild with explosive laughter. then they choked on possum and a funeral was held to bury the possum andpay their respects to the atomic bomb for its ability blow everything away. Not good when holding a hand grenade.

you can be very persuasiveand get what you want if you carry a loaded dont wanna clcik the link to read this blocked member's post mounted with duck carcus and taped together with duct tape

this is until the bottom of page 82 people :P in the words of "the Mask" Somebody stop me!