My soon-to-be wife did a 180 on me
4/30/06, 09:57 AM
#21
After all these years,
My C/T still sucks!
My C/T still sucks!
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<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(WarBird69 @ April 30, 2006, 10:16 AM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
She is 25. I am 23. We both work in the same duty section, and I outrank her. We work in different sections, however, so we don't fall in each other's chain of command. I don't have to boss her around at work thank goodness. If we broke up... it would be VERY akward since we work together. We plan on keeping finances seperated except for a joint account to buy "joint" things together, like furnature.
[/b][/quote]
Think about how Akward it will be when you marry her, she is STILL a she banshee and you have to get divorced....... [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/dunno.gif[/img]
That there is some bullcrap. It would be like me telling my husband He couldn't get more guitars until I got something I wanted.
Course HE got me my mustang.....So In my book he can have whatever he desires.
Women Suck!
She is 25. I am 23. We both work in the same duty section, and I outrank her. We work in different sections, however, so we don't fall in each other's chain of command. I don't have to boss her around at work thank goodness. If we broke up... it would be VERY akward since we work together. We plan on keeping finances seperated except for a joint account to buy "joint" things together, like furnature.
[/b][/quote]
Think about how Akward it will be when you marry her, she is STILL a she banshee and you have to get divorced....... [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/dunno.gif[/img]
That there is some bullcrap. It would be like me telling my husband He couldn't get more guitars until I got something I wanted.
Course HE got me my mustang.....So In my book he can have whatever he desires.
Women Suck!
4/30/06, 10:16 AM
#22
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<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(RRRoamer @ April 30, 2006, 11:36 AM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
Be very, very, VERY careful Nick! You really need to sit down with her and hash out what is going on here. Marriage to the right person can be the best thing in the world. Marriage to the wrong person can be a test run of heck.
Frankly, the car doesn't matter one bit here. What matters is the way she is responding to things. If you are seeing the true side of her, count yourself LUCKY that you got a good glempse BEFORE you had exchanged rings! Don't think for a minute that things will "magically" improve once you are married. That just doesn't work.
If you can't work out the situation with her and get to the bottom of her reaction, you really need to sit down and thing about marriage.
Good luck!
[/b][/quote]
I agree ( been married 16 years ). She is not being fair, this would be different if her reasons were that something else had changed and caused your ability to pay for or house the Stang were changed, but that is not the case. You are not being unreasonable saying take care of what you got first. The scenarios are very different, you wanted the car, discussed it, set out a set of conditions and met them. She wants the dog, is unwilling to discuss any conditions therefor, no chance of coming to an agreement. She needs a reality check. Marriage is give and take. not take, take, take.
Be very, very, VERY careful Nick! You really need to sit down with her and hash out what is going on here. Marriage to the right person can be the best thing in the world. Marriage to the wrong person can be a test run of heck.
Frankly, the car doesn't matter one bit here. What matters is the way she is responding to things. If you are seeing the true side of her, count yourself LUCKY that you got a good glempse BEFORE you had exchanged rings! Don't think for a minute that things will "magically" improve once you are married. That just doesn't work.
If you can't work out the situation with her and get to the bottom of her reaction, you really need to sit down and thing about marriage.
Good luck!
[/b][/quote]
I agree ( been married 16 years ). She is not being fair, this would be different if her reasons were that something else had changed and caused your ability to pay for or house the Stang were changed, but that is not the case. You are not being unreasonable saying take care of what you got first. The scenarios are very different, you wanted the car, discussed it, set out a set of conditions and met them. She wants the dog, is unwilling to discuss any conditions therefor, no chance of coming to an agreement. She needs a reality check. Marriage is give and take. not take, take, take.
4/30/06, 10:17 AM
#23
Taking most everything else out of it, it is the fundamental difference between the sexes - you are being logical in your actions and decisions, which guys do. She is being emotional in her actions and decisions, which chicks do.
To you: you fulfilled all the previously laid out requirements to get the car - ie, simple equation - you can get the car.
To her: she wants something therefore she should have it. And you should want to give it to her because you love her.
There is also some obvious immaturity on her part as well due to the fact that it seems 'well you get THAT, so I should get THIS just because...'. Not good. Basis for more problems down the road.
Trust me - listen to the married guys on here - its all about compromise. That's the way it works.
But this seems kinda early for something like this to happen PLUS it revolves about something that is a MAJOR interest to you. This isn't like you just don't like the same TV programs..... You are on this board so obviously Mustangs are a BIG deal to you.
Tread carefully and be smart - always remember in a relationship, as I tell all my friends, no matter what happens, the guy ususally does what he has to to keep the peace (he always 'takes the bullet' as I say).
To you: you fulfilled all the previously laid out requirements to get the car - ie, simple equation - you can get the car.
To her: she wants something therefore she should have it. And you should want to give it to her because you love her.
There is also some obvious immaturity on her part as well due to the fact that it seems 'well you get THAT, so I should get THIS just because...'. Not good. Basis for more problems down the road.
Trust me - listen to the married guys on here - its all about compromise. That's the way it works.
But this seems kinda early for something like this to happen PLUS it revolves about something that is a MAJOR interest to you. This isn't like you just don't like the same TV programs..... You are on this board so obviously Mustangs are a BIG deal to you.
Tread carefully and be smart - always remember in a relationship, as I tell all my friends, no matter what happens, the guy ususally does what he has to to keep the peace (he always 'takes the bullet' as I say).
4/30/06, 10:38 AM
#27
Mach 1 Member
I don't claim to be an expert on relationships, I’ve made my mistakes. But if she said, "I'm getting the dog. If you don't like it, you know where the door is.", you should consider maybe she is pushing you away. Perhaps she doesn't want the wedding anymore and the dog and car are her out. Then she can feel faultless when you get fed up and leave.
Just my opinion, I hope things work out for you.
Just my opinion, I hope things work out for you.
4/30/06, 11:09 AM
#29
Tasca Super Boss 429 Member
Maybe I'm the wrong person to listen to, but that was my deal.
I let her get her little dog first, then she HAD to let me get the Mustang.
We only have two cats and some small animals in cages.
Anything for the dog (except food) comes out of her spending money. Anything for the Mustang comes out of mine.
Mustangs with traction control and anti-lock brakes can go through snow. In the old days, we used studded snow tires on the muscle cars.
Mustangs are set up for car seats and have proper anchors for such. Our kids are grown and we bought them a car to share (not car seats).
NOW THAT OUT OF THE WAY, IS IT THE CAR AND THE DOG OR IS IT SOMETHING ELSE THAT IS THE PROBLEM?
Think long and hard, you are still young. Good Luck.
I let her get her little dog first, then she HAD to let me get the Mustang.
We only have two cats and some small animals in cages.
Anything for the dog (except food) comes out of her spending money. Anything for the Mustang comes out of mine.
Mustangs with traction control and anti-lock brakes can go through snow. In the old days, we used studded snow tires on the muscle cars.
Mustangs are set up for car seats and have proper anchors for such. Our kids are grown and we bought them a car to share (not car seats).
NOW THAT OUT OF THE WAY, IS IT THE CAR AND THE DOG OR IS IT SOMETHING ELSE THAT IS THE PROBLEM?
Think long and hard, you are still young. Good Luck.
4/30/06, 11:32 AM
#30
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Get both, dog for her Stang for you. After dog eats cats ...... run over dog with Stang. All problems solved.
Just kidding, I know the animal lovers are flaming right now. Seriously I've been married for 23 years, if you have to keep your finances seperate to be happy stay single. If you can't agree on something simple like a car and a dog, do not go forth and multiply. Stay single until you are both mature enough to make it work together. [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/banghead.gif[/img]
Just kidding, I know the animal lovers are flaming right now. Seriously I've been married for 23 years, if you have to keep your finances seperate to be happy stay single. If you can't agree on something simple like a car and a dog, do not go forth and multiply. Stay single until you are both mature enough to make it work together. [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/banghead.gif[/img]
4/30/06, 11:50 AM
#31
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DO NOT GET MARRIED BEFORE 25!!! Don't you listen to Tom Lykus?
Have you reached your life goal (airman)? If not, don't get married until you have. I know it is tough, but if this woman is making things difficult over a dog and a car (that you can afford without affecting her) then you really have to watch yourself.
Man, you are too young to get married, you shouldn't even have a steady girlfriend. You need to be single and have that Stang and then you will get all the booty call you want or need.
Mark my words, 23 is too young to think about marriage. 25 is the bare minimum 30 is more realistic.
Tune into Tom, he will help you see the light brother.
Have you reached your life goal (airman)? If not, don't get married until you have. I know it is tough, but if this woman is making things difficult over a dog and a car (that you can afford without affecting her) then you really have to watch yourself.
Man, you are too young to get married, you shouldn't even have a steady girlfriend. You need to be single and have that Stang and then you will get all the booty call you want or need.
Mark my words, 23 is too young to think about marriage. 25 is the bare minimum 30 is more realistic.
Tune into Tom, he will help you see the light brother.
4/30/06, 11:52 AM
#32
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Just a quick reply since I'm still at work, does this thread really belong in Order Status & Production Info? There's nothing to do with my ordering status: I'm getting the car and if she don't like it, she can take all 8695386 of her cats and bugger off!
.... at least it feels like 8695386 cats when I run out of medicine.
.... at least it feels like 8695386 cats when I run out of medicine.
4/30/06, 12:07 PM
#33
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Hey bro, Hang in there and I wish you the best of luck.
A marriage is a great thing, when you are married to the right person.
Base on your story, your girl does not seem very mature. You both made an agreement and you met your end and you should be able to get the car. She won't take care of 5 cats, what makes her think she will now take care of a dog? and she is not even willing to compromise, she just wants it? [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/banghead.gif[/img]
That's a bit immature. Get the car and you will be much happier.
Good luck, oh yeah and when you get the car you better post some pics [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/banana.gif[/img]
A marriage is a great thing, when you are married to the right person.
Base on your story, your girl does not seem very mature. You both made an agreement and you met your end and you should be able to get the car. She won't take care of 5 cats, what makes her think she will now take care of a dog? and she is not even willing to compromise, she just wants it? [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/banghead.gif[/img]
That's a bit immature. Get the car and you will be much happier.
Good luck, oh yeah and when you get the car you better post some pics [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/banana.gif[/img]
5/1/06, 08:09 AM
#34
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<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(TacoBill @ April 30, 2006, 10:17 AM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
Nick, You're getting a snapshot into the future.
Marriage is all about compromise and keeping promises.
The GT was in the promise, not the dog.
If all that you said is true, then stand your ground and act like the SSgt that you are.
[/b][/quote]
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(GhostTX @ April 30, 2006, 10:25 AM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
I'll just say marriage will not change a person. When you marry, you'll have the same person x years down the road as you do now, just older.
[/b][/quote]
These two said it best in my opinion. Good luck man, were all pullin fer ya.
Nick, You're getting a snapshot into the future.
Marriage is all about compromise and keeping promises.
The GT was in the promise, not the dog.
If all that you said is true, then stand your ground and act like the SSgt that you are.
[/b][/quote]
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(GhostTX @ April 30, 2006, 10:25 AM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
I'll just say marriage will not change a person. When you marry, you'll have the same person x years down the road as you do now, just older.
[/b][/quote]
These two said it best in my opinion. Good luck man, were all pullin fer ya.
5/1/06, 08:11 AM
#35
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Thanks for the advice everyone! Boards went down yesterday, was hoping to browse the forums more!
I've got 4 days alone comming up since she is going to her parents house, and I have to stay behind and work. I'm going to do some soul searching then. After she gets back...then we sit down for a long, hard conversation about this whole thing. And if nothing is resolved... I get to be homeless cuz I'm getting out of here. I hope that doesn't happen, because I don't want to move, I don't want to be alone, I don't want to hurt her or her family, and I don't want the HUGE akwardness at work. But if that is what it comes down to... then so be it.
Thanks again for all the advice. I'll definately post pics when the car arrives!
I've got 4 days alone comming up since she is going to her parents house, and I have to stay behind and work. I'm going to do some soul searching then. After she gets back...then we sit down for a long, hard conversation about this whole thing. And if nothing is resolved... I get to be homeless cuz I'm getting out of here. I hope that doesn't happen, because I don't want to move, I don't want to be alone, I don't want to hurt her or her family, and I don't want the HUGE akwardness at work. But if that is what it comes down to... then so be it.
Thanks again for all the advice. I'll definately post pics when the car arrives!
5/1/06, 08:21 AM
#36
Legacy TMS Member
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(RRRoamer @ April 30, 2006, 9:36 AM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
Be very, very, VERY careful Nick! You really need to sit down with her and hash out what is going on here. Marriage to the right person can be the best thing in the world. Marriage to the wrong person can be a test run of heck.
Frankly, the car doesn't matter one bit here. What matters is the way she is responding to things. If you are seeing the true side of her, count yourself LUCKY that you got a good glempse BEFORE you had exchanged rings! Don't think for a minute that things will "magically" improve once you are married. That just doesn't work.
If you can't work out the situation with her and get to the bottom of her reaction, you really need to sit down and thing about marriage.
Good luck!
[/b][/quote]
This is EXACTLY why it is important to understand what is underneath the reaction!
By the way, divorce can be expensive - take it from one who went through two previously.
Be very, very, VERY careful Nick! You really need to sit down with her and hash out what is going on here. Marriage to the right person can be the best thing in the world. Marriage to the wrong person can be a test run of heck.
Frankly, the car doesn't matter one bit here. What matters is the way she is responding to things. If you are seeing the true side of her, count yourself LUCKY that you got a good glempse BEFORE you had exchanged rings! Don't think for a minute that things will "magically" improve once you are married. That just doesn't work.
If you can't work out the situation with her and get to the bottom of her reaction, you really need to sit down and thing about marriage.
Good luck!
[/b][/quote]
This is EXACTLY why it is important to understand what is underneath the reaction!
By the way, divorce can be expensive - take it from one who went through two previously.
5/1/06, 08:37 AM
#37
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Listen up budd, it's not worth losing your woman over this. We all can sit here and bad mouth our fiance's wives, gf's whatever, all we want, but at the end of the day, we all know we need them.
Bottom line, this is your life with her, sit down , talk and don;t jump to conclusions, and don;t let her do the same. Tell her if she really wants a dog, she can get one but only if she can show you that she can actually take care care of all these pets. That's a huge responsibilty. Tell her your'e not against what she wants, youre just looking for a justified answer. You buying the stang is your sommitment to the car and you will take care of it. Tell her that if it needs to be said out loud.
In either case, dont let this matter go unresolved more than a day.
I got married at24, known her 6 yrs before that. Yeah we've had a lot of fights, but we make it a point to resolve everything that day.
Bottom line, this is your life with her, sit down , talk and don;t jump to conclusions, and don;t let her do the same. Tell her if she really wants a dog, she can get one but only if she can show you that she can actually take care care of all these pets. That's a huge responsibilty. Tell her your'e not against what she wants, youre just looking for a justified answer. You buying the stang is your sommitment to the car and you will take care of it. Tell her that if it needs to be said out loud.
In either case, dont let this matter go unresolved more than a day.
I got married at24, known her 6 yrs before that. Yeah we've had a lot of fights, but we make it a point to resolve everything that day.
5/1/06, 08:46 AM
#38
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It's not about the car or the dog. It sounds more like she is resenting you for something. Does she always use your interests as leverage to get her way? Don't let her (or anyone) use the things you're passionate about against you. Perhaps she'll start using sex as a weapon? Compromise and mutual agreements are fine but dont let her base the relationship on reward & punishment. She sounds too young(immature) to get married but at 25 you can't teach an old dog new tricks. I doubt her behavior will change.
5/1/06, 08:48 AM
#39
The way I see it, you guys are both to young to get married. You're 23?! Heck brother! Play the field. Sow those royal oats son! One must get their own life in order professionally and financially before you can share your life with another. Period. This it’s the time in your life when you need to figure out what YOU want. And it doesn't sound like you want 6 friggin cats. Read through all of this, let's just say, "I sense danger Will Robinson". It sounds like she has pet issues… meaning she like them more than you. I would not put up with 6 critters in the house, much less cats. Here's a couple options.
Option 1: Kick her and her cats to the curb and buy the Stang. Chicks will follow. [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif[/img]
Option 2: Go ahead a get the dog. HOWEVER, tell her that YOU get to pick it out. Then get the biggest and nastiest Rot or Pit bull and train it to eat cats. Problem solve.
In all seriousness, besides the pet thing, she might be an awesome young lady. However, you need to think about what it is YOU want and not what she wants. And she must do the same. You can't be happy with anyone else until you are happy and satisfied with yourself.
Good luck my friend.
Option 1: Kick her and her cats to the curb and buy the Stang. Chicks will follow. [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif[/img]
Option 2: Go ahead a get the dog. HOWEVER, tell her that YOU get to pick it out. Then get the biggest and nastiest Rot or Pit bull and train it to eat cats. Problem solve.
In all seriousness, besides the pet thing, she might be an awesome young lady. However, you need to think about what it is YOU want and not what she wants. And she must do the same. You can't be happy with anyone else until you are happy and satisfied with yourself.
Good luck my friend.
5/1/06, 09:47 AM
#40
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Hey SSgt (S),
Take some advice from a USAF field grader with some experience in airman-airman relationships...you're both too young and nuts to know what you're doing. Everyone on this board has told you the exact same thing, if this is how it goes for something small, imagine how bad it will be when you're married. No one is sayign your wife should be a docile idiot, but she shouldn't be an obstacle to your happiness. Lots of folks in you position are eager to get married because it means base housing and more money, or owrse, you knocked her up. Go to the hospital, and count how many hotter E-3s there are walking the halls before you decide she's the one for you. Before you get hit with Joint-spouse decisions, family care, and deployment problems, maybe you should step back and see if she's got your back. Already, she keeps 6 cats ( insanity indicator...) that's she's allergic to and you both have to spend money to feed, and now wants a dog. Doesn't sound like she has the good judgement gene. Sounds like a me-first type, who in five or so years will grow up. I'm sure she wants a fancy wedding too.
Hey, don't forget, you may be immature too (just remember, the lemon lot is full of hot cars with red stickers--guys who thought E-4s and 5s made enough to cover payment, gas, and insurance). I know it means your love life will be a little dry for a while, but you probably want to re-think this marriage. Last thing I'd want to see is my guys coming to your house because she trashed your car! [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.gif[/img]
-Darth
Take some advice from a USAF field grader with some experience in airman-airman relationships...you're both too young and nuts to know what you're doing. Everyone on this board has told you the exact same thing, if this is how it goes for something small, imagine how bad it will be when you're married. No one is sayign your wife should be a docile idiot, but she shouldn't be an obstacle to your happiness. Lots of folks in you position are eager to get married because it means base housing and more money, or owrse, you knocked her up. Go to the hospital, and count how many hotter E-3s there are walking the halls before you decide she's the one for you. Before you get hit with Joint-spouse decisions, family care, and deployment problems, maybe you should step back and see if she's got your back. Already, she keeps 6 cats ( insanity indicator...) that's she's allergic to and you both have to spend money to feed, and now wants a dog. Doesn't sound like she has the good judgement gene. Sounds like a me-first type, who in five or so years will grow up. I'm sure she wants a fancy wedding too.
Hey, don't forget, you may be immature too (just remember, the lemon lot is full of hot cars with red stickers--guys who thought E-4s and 5s made enough to cover payment, gas, and insurance). I know it means your love life will be a little dry for a while, but you probably want to re-think this marriage. Last thing I'd want to see is my guys coming to your house because she trashed your car! [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.gif[/img]
-Darth