My soon-to-be wife did a 180 on me
4/30/06, 07:56 AM
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My fiancee is nucking futs.... stop now if you don't want to read a long, drawn out story that probably doesn't make sense due to my current head cold....
We've talked about me ordering a 05+ Mustang for a while now. Probably about a year. She supported me up until a month or so ago. First a little back story:
I've wanted a 2005+ Mustang GT ever since the concept came out. At the time, I was struggling with my military fitness. (A simple hint: don't quit smoking then eat McDonalds every day for 6 months!). I hate working out, so going to the gym was akin to giving a cat a bath. One thing lead to another... and it came down to the point I either passed my fitness test, or started calling myself "Mister" instead of "Airman". So... I set a lofty goal for myself (with the help of my fiancee): If I pass my fitness test with a score of 75 or better, and get promoted to SSgt, then I can order my car. So... I started working hard almost every day to get in better shape. I ate a little better (not like a rabbit or anything), ran farher than from the couch to the bathroom, did more situps than simply going from laying down to sitting up, and almost completely eliminated my 12 oz declining curls (beer drinking). My fitness began to improve. I tested for SSgt, and made it. Goal 1 accomplished. Fitness kept getting better...
Fastforward to a month ago. I FINALLY pass my fitness test. I sit down and look at my financial situation... and discover I have the income due to being promoted to buy the car and still have plenty left over for our wedding and honeymoon. Everything is finally beginning to fall into place! So... I contact Ed (ISELLFORD), and we begin getting the ball rolling. Though the official order has not been placed, I deceided to place it in June/July so delivery will be in September/October (after our late August wedding and honeymoon). This way there will be no interference with the wedding.
Fastforward to this week. We get in a HUGE fight concerning a dog at the pet store. She wants it, I say its not a good idea. We already have 6 cats in the house (one is mine, the others are hers), and she hasn't taken good care of her cats (by not getting them shots), so she doesn't need a dog right now. I don't want another animal in the house period, but I say if she gets all the cats shots, we'll see about getting a dog. She FLIPS. I had never experienced the full wrath of a pissed off woman, but I get it this time. During the verbal fight, she spouts off how I'm going to buy a car, so she can buy a dog!
... Now correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't owning a dog and owning a car two COMPLETELY different things? Both need care and attention, but she would not be required to care for my car. I'd be picking up dog turds off the floor (sorta like I do now with cat turds...). I'd have to walk it sometimes, feed it, and in general put up with it and 5 pissed off and scared cats (my cat lives in isolation). That would probably equal even more pee in the floor. All the while... her only involvement with my car would be riding in it once in a while. Maybe putting gas in it or driving it on long trips if we take turns.
...Back to the story at hand: I thought she brought up the car out of spite, so the next day (after a call to my mother for advice), we sit down and start talking. Long story short, she is now AGAINST me buying the car. Why? I don't need it, its near the wedding, I can't drive in the snow, it won't fit a car seat in it (I think it does!), and (here is the kicker: again), if she can't get a dog, I can't get the car because both situations are THE SAME in her eyes. She thinks i'm being selfish by getting the car and not the dog.
... I don't know if I'm looking for car and/or relationship advice here, but I just felt like venting to some people who would either understand or put me in my place.
We've talked about me ordering a 05+ Mustang for a while now. Probably about a year. She supported me up until a month or so ago. First a little back story:
I've wanted a 2005+ Mustang GT ever since the concept came out. At the time, I was struggling with my military fitness. (A simple hint: don't quit smoking then eat McDonalds every day for 6 months!). I hate working out, so going to the gym was akin to giving a cat a bath. One thing lead to another... and it came down to the point I either passed my fitness test, or started calling myself "Mister" instead of "Airman". So... I set a lofty goal for myself (with the help of my fiancee): If I pass my fitness test with a score of 75 or better, and get promoted to SSgt, then I can order my car. So... I started working hard almost every day to get in better shape. I ate a little better (not like a rabbit or anything), ran farher than from the couch to the bathroom, did more situps than simply going from laying down to sitting up, and almost completely eliminated my 12 oz declining curls (beer drinking). My fitness began to improve. I tested for SSgt, and made it. Goal 1 accomplished. Fitness kept getting better...
Fastforward to a month ago. I FINALLY pass my fitness test. I sit down and look at my financial situation... and discover I have the income due to being promoted to buy the car and still have plenty left over for our wedding and honeymoon. Everything is finally beginning to fall into place! So... I contact Ed (ISELLFORD), and we begin getting the ball rolling. Though the official order has not been placed, I deceided to place it in June/July so delivery will be in September/October (after our late August wedding and honeymoon). This way there will be no interference with the wedding.
Fastforward to this week. We get in a HUGE fight concerning a dog at the pet store. She wants it, I say its not a good idea. We already have 6 cats in the house (one is mine, the others are hers), and she hasn't taken good care of her cats (by not getting them shots), so she doesn't need a dog right now. I don't want another animal in the house period, but I say if she gets all the cats shots, we'll see about getting a dog. She FLIPS. I had never experienced the full wrath of a pissed off woman, but I get it this time. During the verbal fight, she spouts off how I'm going to buy a car, so she can buy a dog!
... Now correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't owning a dog and owning a car two COMPLETELY different things? Both need care and attention, but she would not be required to care for my car. I'd be picking up dog turds off the floor (sorta like I do now with cat turds...). I'd have to walk it sometimes, feed it, and in general put up with it and 5 pissed off and scared cats (my cat lives in isolation). That would probably equal even more pee in the floor. All the while... her only involvement with my car would be riding in it once in a while. Maybe putting gas in it or driving it on long trips if we take turns.
...Back to the story at hand: I thought she brought up the car out of spite, so the next day (after a call to my mother for advice), we sit down and start talking. Long story short, she is now AGAINST me buying the car. Why? I don't need it, its near the wedding, I can't drive in the snow, it won't fit a car seat in it (I think it does!), and (here is the kicker: again), if she can't get a dog, I can't get the car because both situations are THE SAME in her eyes. She thinks i'm being selfish by getting the car and not the dog.
... I don't know if I'm looking for car and/or relationship advice here, but I just felt like venting to some people who would either understand or put me in my place.
4/30/06, 08:14 AM
#3
Nick, You're getting a snapshot into the future.
Marriage is all about compromise and keeping promises.
The GT was in the promise, not the dog.
btw- I've been married for 14 years, not a singe person (or divorced) giving you advise. [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/04.gif[/img]
If all that you said is true, then stand your ground and act like the SSgt that you are.
Marriage is all about compromise and keeping promises.
The GT was in the promise, not the dog.
btw- I've been married for 14 years, not a singe person (or divorced) giving you advise. [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/04.gif[/img]
If all that you said is true, then stand your ground and act like the SSgt that you are.
4/30/06, 08:20 AM
#4
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Six cats? [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/headscratch.gif[/img] Man, I'd order the car and forget the girl. I mean, if she is gonna be this hard over a dog... Man you are gonna have some real problems with this one. I'm telling you, life is too short to put up with a Prima Donna like that. I love animals, but that is too many. And if she won't take care of cats, what would she do with a kid? Sorry put it like that but you are in trouble and that light at the end of the tunnel has a train horn attached to it!
4/30/06, 08:24 AM
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Yes... 6 cats. I forgot to add we're both allergic to cats. Me moreso than her. But, due to the miracles of Zyrtec, I can live almost comfortably as long as I don't spend prolonged periods with the cats in my "personal space".
And I am going to stand my ground. The car will be ordered. Like she said during the argument, which I believe was said in spite, "I'm getting the dog. If you don't like it, you know where the door is."
We don't have a dog yet, but I'll have a GT withen 6 months. If it means I'm a single male GT owner as opposed to a married GT owner... then perhaps it is a Higher Power's way of saying this isn't the person you want to be your wife.
I agree marrage is about compromise. Thats why I agreed to a dog if she took care of her current animals. You can have all the love in the world, but love won't prevent a cat from getting deathly ill. A shot could.
And I am going to stand my ground. The car will be ordered. Like she said during the argument, which I believe was said in spite, "I'm getting the dog. If you don't like it, you know where the door is."
We don't have a dog yet, but I'll have a GT withen 6 months. If it means I'm a single male GT owner as opposed to a married GT owner... then perhaps it is a Higher Power's way of saying this isn't the person you want to be your wife.
I agree marrage is about compromise. Thats why I agreed to a dog if she took care of her current animals. You can have all the love in the world, but love won't prevent a cat from getting deathly ill. A shot could.
4/30/06, 08:24 AM
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Welcome to the world of relationships. All my mods seem to cost me double. My girls excuse to me is everytime I buy a mod for my mustang she deserves the equal money to be spent on her. [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/mad.gif[/img] The ironic part is I alraedy spend more money on her inbetween the mod purchases. Oh well thats the price you pay for someone you care about.
I was talking about the mustang. [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/04.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrinjester.gif[/img]
I was talking about the mustang. [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/04.gif[/img] [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrinjester.gif[/img]
4/30/06, 08:24 AM
#8
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My 2 pennies - the bottom line is that she does see them as the same. It does not matter if you consider it different or not. It seems that she really wants the dog as much as you want the car.
There are most likely other factors behind her reaction. Those are what you must talk about to uncover. Perhaps she was grudgingly supporting buying a new car but did not say. Maybe she is experiencing stress about the upcoming wedding.
It is my suggestion that you work to find out the unspoken thoughts behind her response.
Good luck!
There are most likely other factors behind her reaction. Those are what you must talk about to uncover. Perhaps she was grudgingly supporting buying a new car but did not say. Maybe she is experiencing stress about the upcoming wedding.
It is my suggestion that you work to find out the unspoken thoughts behind her response.
Good luck!
4/30/06, 08:32 AM
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If it was the girl or the car, I would take the car. Believe me you would regret it all your life. Think about it this way, you can get rid of 5 nasty cats and a unappreciative wife (she wants a dog, thats how my little sister behaved when she was 2). This car alone will get you a ton of chicks, so don't worry about that again. When my girlfriend has been nagging me i have almost dropped her off a few times in the stang, so dont sweat it. Also, keep in mind she might be trying to test you since she wants to know your limits when you guys are maried. Show her who his boss, set your limits, otherwise you might be whipped all throught marriage. Also, keep this in mind of every grown guy I know who has been whipped by his wife the marriage didnt last, it was too much about one person, and the guy just got fed up. Order the stang, you dont have to tell her, when it comes she will see real quick that she isnt always gonna get her way.
Peace Out, thats just my little ramble for what its worth.
Peace Out, thats just my little ramble for what its worth.
4/30/06, 08:41 AM
#11
After all these years,
My C/T still sucks!
My C/T still sucks!
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WTH??
Coming from a womans perspective-
That ain't cool!
Get the car- and She and the dog(and five cats) know where the door is.
JMO...........
Coming from a womans perspective-
That ain't cool!
Get the car- and She and the dog(and five cats) know where the door is.
JMO...........
4/30/06, 08:47 AM
#12
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Two questions here. How long have you been dating this girl and for god's sake how old is she ??
She sounds a lot like my EX-wife who never matured past 18. [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif[/img]
You are BOTH allergic to cats, but yet you have six of them? WTF [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/dunno.gif[/img]
TacoBill mentioned you are getting a glimpse into the future of what your marriage will be like, so just imagine when you get into a fight over something really important and not just a dog. Then you get married things don't work out you get divorced and she gets the car [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad.gif[/img]
IMO the bottom line is this;
It's all about being happy, and if you are not going to be happy with her, leave.
She sounds a lot like my EX-wife who never matured past 18. [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif[/img]
You are BOTH allergic to cats, but yet you have six of them? WTF [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/dunno.gif[/img]
TacoBill mentioned you are getting a glimpse into the future of what your marriage will be like, so just imagine when you get into a fight over something really important and not just a dog. Then you get married things don't work out you get divorced and she gets the car [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sad.gif[/img]
IMO the bottom line is this;
It's all about being happy, and if you are not going to be happy with her, leave.
4/30/06, 08:53 AM
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I got my car a few days ago and my girlfriend is actually JEALOUS of it. She thinks I will have to split time between her and the car. I assured her that she and the car are in totally different leagues. She was the first person to drive in it with me and she says she likes the volvo better!!!! ugh women....
4/30/06, 08:54 AM
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A couple of years back my wife and I completely seperated our finnaces, she has her money and I have mine....this eliminates the fights about money. And quit frankly it's your paycheck airman, if she doesn't like it she know's were the door is.
Married to a SSgt. [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif[/img]
Married to a SSgt. [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif[/img]
4/30/06, 09:01 AM
#15
Dude, either you start to understand that you will never win arguments with her, especially after married, or start looking for a good psychiatrist. Sounds like the pet situation is a bit out of control and I agree with you 100%, now is not the time to be adding another pet to the equation. However, you do have to ask yourself a few questions..... Is getting a mustang worth losing your fiancee over. On the other hand, if you get married are you dreams of owning a mustang sqwashed for good. Be very careful about your choices here. If she doesn't want you to get one now and uses the "maybe after we are married" trap, consider yourself out of luck. Next thing you know, you show up with a stang, she files for divorce and takes it as part of the settlement anyway.
4/30/06, 09:07 AM
#16
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I hate the soul of every life-ruining woman to ever walk the earth. One day she will utterly destroy you emotionally and the only thing that will matter to you is your car. And you will drive for hours on twisty roads at twice the legal speed limit until you realize that the soul of the woman was created below. Cars and classic rock matter, never let a woman take either of them away.
YES I AM BITTER.
Get the car.
YES I AM BITTER.
Get the car.
4/30/06, 09:13 AM
#17
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<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(OKCMustangGT @ April 30, 2006, 10:50 AM) Quoted post</div><div class='quotemain'>
Two questions here. How long have you been dating this girl and for god's sake how old is she ??
[/b][/quote]
She is 25. I am 23. We both work in the same duty section, and I outrank her. We work in different sections, however, so we don't fall in each other's chain of command. I don't have to boss her around at work thank goodness. If we broke up... it would be VERY akward since we work together. We plan on keeping finances seperated except for a joint account to buy "joint" things together, like furnature.
Off to lunch to get some McDonalds. [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrinjester.gif[/img]
Thanks for the advice so far. Keep it flowing.
Two questions here. How long have you been dating this girl and for god's sake how old is she ??
[/b][/quote]
She is 25. I am 23. We both work in the same duty section, and I outrank her. We work in different sections, however, so we don't fall in each other's chain of command. I don't have to boss her around at work thank goodness. If we broke up... it would be VERY akward since we work together. We plan on keeping finances seperated except for a joint account to buy "joint" things together, like furnature.
Off to lunch to get some McDonalds. [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrinjester.gif[/img]
Thanks for the advice so far. Keep it flowing.
4/30/06, 09:29 AM
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Seven Cats in one house, ouch! [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/04.gif[/img] I counted correct. That is Six too many [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/dunno.gif[/img] you decide which one to keep.
First off, you mentioned car seat! Simple, Mustang in any form is not a family vehicle. [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/thumbsdown.gif[/img] If your looking to start a family like real soon, forget the Stang unless you have the means to own three good vehicles. My son had to have one and now it's gone, was just to costly for young couple. And yes she continuously bad mouthed it. And he dropped a lot funds in a short time and did not have the self-gratification.
Second: I don't even want to talk about women, [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/banghead.gif[/img] their all born brain dead, some just more than others. Difference with mine is she likes her GT and does not want a dog. Guess who has to care for the extra Stang! She justifies that with a statement like, "You enjoy doing things like that." Point is no different from given the job of looking after a pet. They want something and also want you to take care of it for them.
Third: My son, now has a puppy! [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/headscratch.gif[/img]
Fourth: If the object is ones eye candy, then it is worth keeping, although highly unlikey it will have a brain too boot! [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif[/img]
First off, you mentioned car seat! Simple, Mustang in any form is not a family vehicle. [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/thumbsdown.gif[/img] If your looking to start a family like real soon, forget the Stang unless you have the means to own three good vehicles. My son had to have one and now it's gone, was just to costly for young couple. And yes she continuously bad mouthed it. And he dropped a lot funds in a short time and did not have the self-gratification.
Second: I don't even want to talk about women, [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/banghead.gif[/img] their all born brain dead, some just more than others. Difference with mine is she likes her GT and does not want a dog. Guess who has to care for the extra Stang! She justifies that with a statement like, "You enjoy doing things like that." Point is no different from given the job of looking after a pet. They want something and also want you to take care of it for them.
Third: My son, now has a puppy! [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/headscratch.gif[/img]
Fourth: If the object is ones eye candy, then it is worth keeping, although highly unlikey it will have a brain too boot! [img]style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif[/img]
4/30/06, 09:30 AM
#19
Dude wake up
It's only going to get worse. You're not even married and she's pushing you around. Either put the pants on and take control or boot her out. You are the man not her. You're not even married yet and she's telling you how to spend your money, imagine what it's gonna be like after you marry her. I just booted my fiancee out after an 8 year relationship because of this crap and I got sick of it. I couldn't possibly envision it getting better or staying the same after we got married, it would only get worse. She sounds like the type of girl that when she divorces you she'll spend $49k in lawyer fees to get all of your $50k nest egg.
Tell her how it is or show her the door
It's only going to get worse. You're not even married and she's pushing you around. Either put the pants on and take control or boot her out. You are the man not her. You're not even married yet and she's telling you how to spend your money, imagine what it's gonna be like after you marry her. I just booted my fiancee out after an 8 year relationship because of this crap and I got sick of it. I couldn't possibly envision it getting better or staying the same after we got married, it would only get worse. She sounds like the type of girl that when she divorces you she'll spend $49k in lawyer fees to get all of your $50k nest egg.
Tell her how it is or show her the door
4/30/06, 09:33 AM
#20
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Be very, very, VERY careful Nick! You really need to sit down with her and hash out what is going on here. Marriage to the right person can be the best thing in the world. Marriage to the wrong person can be a test run of heck.
Frankly, the car doesn't matter one bit here. What matters is the way she is responding to things. If you are seeing the true side of her, count yourself LUCKY that you got a good glempse BEFORE you had exchanged rings! Don't think for a minute that things will "magically" improve once you are married. That just doesn't work.
If you can't work out the situation with her and get to the bottom of her reaction, you really need to sit down and thing about marriage.
Good luck!
Frankly, the car doesn't matter one bit here. What matters is the way she is responding to things. If you are seeing the true side of her, count yourself LUCKY that you got a good glempse BEFORE you had exchanged rings! Don't think for a minute that things will "magically" improve once you are married. That just doesn't work.
If you can't work out the situation with her and get to the bottom of her reaction, you really need to sit down and thing about marriage.
Good luck!