Rather B.Blown

Being in pajamas in public aside, it was 97 ****ing degrees, in the humid south. I was in shorts, flip flops and a thin t-shirt and I was sweating like a ***** in church. This dipstick was in flannel freaking pajamas.

laserred38

Living in the SF Bay Area, I have lost all hope for my generation. And/or meeting someone new to rebuild my life with. I'm flat out screwed. Idk what to do. I can't afford and don't have the time to go back to school to get a master's or trade school. My business degree (with a minor in computer tech) is worth no more than a high school diploma in this area (over saturation). People just bounce from "tech" job every 1-2 years because there's no incentive to put in 25 years at a company anymore. Law enforcement agencies are essentially only hiring minorities and/or females. I can't leave the state with the kids, and I really can't move too far away because my parents babysit for both of us, for free AND they help with supplies for the kids. Liam starts preschool in a few weeks. We decided to put him in private catholic school, the same one I went to, since the public schools in our area are absolute trash. But, that's $850 a month. Obviously we're splitting that, but that extra $425 is about all the extra spending money I have after taxes and bills. I've contemplated selling/trading my car every few weeks but you all know my story with that car...it's my first brand new car I bought all by myself. I only owe $8500 on it. All the work I've put in and time I've spent with the boys. It's pretty much my only escape and little piece of happiness I have at this point.

Ugh. Anyone have any advice? I feel like I'm drowning.

HOSS429

to your kids you are the greatest thing on earth ..they dont know you`re struggling .. they think all is well ..

08GTCandyApple

I'm sorry you are having a hard time, Patrick The only thing I can say to you is to really figure out your priorities. Is the struggle with last $8,500 you owe on your car worth feeling like you are drowning? I know $8,500 doesn't sound like a lot in the grand scheme of what the car cost you, but how many months do you have left on that loan? Are you going to be able to live with no extra money for another 1 1/2-2 years? Believe me, I know how bad it sucks.....I had to get rid of my Jeep when my ex and I split and I still struggled to pay the bills and put food on the table for my two little ones.


And one day when you least expect it, you'll most likely meet someone. I always thought the same thing too. I always thought nobody would be interested in someone with 2 little ones, one of which wasn't even 2 and still in diapers! I went out one night for my birthday with a friend and met my current husband at a bar through mutual friends.....who'd have ever thunk it? Certainly not me! So don't count it out. It really hasn't been too long for you although I know it feels like it has been to you. Just hang in there.

Mustang Freak

Patrick been there done that and still in it. I feel for you trust me I really do. The whole divorce thing plain sucks. I've also lost my well paying job and my college degree is now rendered useless as well. But I will tell you that there WILL BE UNEQUIVOCALLY light at the end of the tunnel. I've since remarried and there is light. Hang in there and keep doing the right things even though they sometimes feel wrong it will reward you in the long run!

Mustang Freak

I can only wear flannel if I'm in the woods hunting or at an outside venue where it is cold. Other than that I never wear flannel even at home always t-shirts and shorts. I swear I'd self combust if I wore an outfit like that on a 97* day!

laserred38

Thanks you two, I know you both have gone through it.

Jill, I've been paying extra every month. I'm ahead a few months and the loan is through July 2020. If I kept this pace I'd pay it off in about a year. But that's not counting tuition which starts next month. Then again that's also assuming I stay at my job. I could cut back on going out for lunch and dinner during the week, if I made more time to cook and meal prep. I could also sell the Escape, which needs some maintenance that I just don't want to deal with, but at least it would give me a bit of a cushion. I could also lower my deductions for my 403b which, I don't plan on retiring with this company anyway, so that's more of a savings account to me.

The car is sentimental to me yes, but with all the money I've put into it too, it seems like such a waste to sell it for what it's worth with the mods. It would almost feel worse to me to do that, since I'd really have just pissed all that money away. Ugh!!

I'm looking at a newer truck tonight. We'll see. If we don't meet in the middle and get my payment down, I'll pass. Do you guys know if I can refinance to have 2 vehicles on one loan?

08GTCandyApple

You would be surprised at how much money you can save just by bringing lunch to work. I only buy on Friday and pack one the rest of the week. You can save an average of $150 a month just by doing that. Maybe between that and if you stop with the extra toward the car payment every month you won't feel so overwhelmed. I'm usually a firm believer in paying extra and getting it paid off early, but not if it's making you struggle. You are already ahead and so maybe you won't pay it off in a year but, you will be happier still having it. Hardest part is getting out of the habit of eating out a lot. Make yourself pack a lunch...even when you don't feel like it. Just a thought. Maybe run some numbers and see what you think

laserred38

I do try when I can. Evan is still in diapers too, so I know you know how that goes. I was doing really well for a while but the last few weekends have been jam packed with family events or visiting friends, which happens to be when prep for the week, so the last couple weeks I ate out for lunch almost every day. Even if I do, I try to go to Sprouts - sandwich/chips/water for $6. Not too bad. I need to get back on the lunch kick and grab leftovers from my parents when I can lol

08GTCandyApple

It's somewhat easy for me too since we have a fridge, microwave and toaster oven we can use. I done pack something up every day either. I'll grocery shop on the weekend and then bring in stuff for the week. I have one of my overhead bins at my desk with cans of soup, mini ravioli and tuna. Hardest part is changing your habits.

Mustang Freak

Leftovers is the way to go! I bought lunch one day last week for the first time in over 4 months.

Mustang Freak

So Alex Bregmann wins the ASG MVP award and has his choice between a crapmaro and a truck. He chooses the crapmaro and then gives it to his mom. LMAO!

Stage_3

****, that sucks Patrick!!!
I went to catholic schools my whole life. From kindergarten through high school. Never went to college. I went to a vocational high school and learned a trade. Still in that trade. My first job I was there for 15 years till they closed the doors. The second shop I worked at, I was there for 5 years, till they closed the door because of the recession/depression. I'm currently with my current employer for over 7 years now. Making pretty good money too. (and, it's only going to get better with the accounts and workload we have.)
I started at this current employer at just 11 bucks an hour over 7 years ago and in the shipping department. I was starting from scratch again, bottom of the rung and position, because of the recession/depression of 2008-2011. Worked my way up and kept telling them I want to move up and keep going up.
It sucks to hear about your situation. If you need to sell your car, then sell it. It really sucks, but it's better than struggling having stress on the family. That can get ugly. I know it's your baby and your escape, I would be pissed off and very upset if I had to sell mine, so I can understand. (easier said than done of course.)
Good luck buddy and we're here if you need to vent or ask opinions man.

laserred38

Thanks bud. I went to look at a 2014 Raptor last night. I had never driven one. Absolutely loved it, but it just did not make financial sense to start another loan. I think I'll be okay keeping the Mustang and I'll probably sell the Escape just to have some extra cash. I'll hopefully be returning to my old location soon which would allow me to walk to work, so I'll be able to keep miles off the Mustang and baby it again. I'll pay it off, save up and pick up an older used F-150 for my outdoors stuff, while trying to either get a second job on the days I don't have the boys or idk maybe even lease a cheap sedan and drive for uber/lyft after work.

Stage_3

Awesome bro.
It'll all work out man. You know what you have to do and what needs to be done. Good luck with it all.

08GTCandyApple

All of this rain is CRAZY and it isn't supposed to let up for a while. I think we have rain in the forecast for the next 10-14 days They even closed Hershey Park because of flooding. There is a before and after pic of the catering pavilion

kcoTiger

I leave for six measly months and Patrick's life goes to ****. Jeez, can't you people keep it together?!

Sorry to hear, Patrick. I hope things start looking up for you and soon.

Man buns: the saddle-horn for the "man" in the relationship.

Where did Bregman go to college? That's right ****ers! LSU.

kcoTiger

I see TMS still isn't worth crap and posted my message twice.

laserred38

Lol I'm trying! I almost traded the car in for a Raptor the other night. Decided against it. I only owe 8250 on it. I'll pay it off and save up for an older F-150 and hope someone comes along that is struggling just like me. I'm stuck in CA for the time being

kcoTiger

I know you probably have some attachment to Cali, but I'd move. Posthaste.