Random Stuff By Hoss 429*
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Joined: June 13, 2005
Posts: 135
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i bet you have to read it more than once to get it ... if you`re a man that is ..
This is a story which is perfectly logical to all males:
A wife asked her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me
and buy a carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."
A short time later the husband returned with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asked him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk???"
He replied, "They had eggs."
A wife asked her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me
and buy a carton of milk, and if they have eggs, get 6."
A short time later the husband returned with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asked him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk???"
He replied, "They had eggs."
Revelation..
A revelation with an Incredibly Big Message.[IBM]
In ancient Israel,it came to pass,that a trader by the name of Abraham Com,did take unto himself,a young wife by the name of Dot.And Dot Com was a comely woman,broad of shoulder,and long of leg.Indeed,she was often called Amazon Dot Com.And she said to Abraham,her husband:''Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without even leaving thy tent?''
And Abraham did look at her as though she was several saddle bags short of a camel load,but simply said:''How,dear?''
And Dot replied:''I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale,and they will reply telling you who hath the best price'.
And thesale can be made the drums and delivery made by Uriahs Pony Stable.[UPS]
Abraham thought long and hard and decided to let Dot have her way with the drums.
And the drums rang out and were an immediate success.Abraham sold all the goods he had at a top price,without even having to move from his tent.
To prevent neighbouring countries overhearing what the drums were saying,Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew.It was called Must Send Drum Over Sound...[MSDOS],and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures-Hebrew To The People[HTTP].But this secret did arouse envy.
A man called Maccabia did secrete himself inside Abrahams drum and began to siphon off some of Abrahams business.But he was soon discovered,arrested and prosecuted for insider trading.
And the young men did take to Dot Coms trading,as doth the greedy horse fly taketh to camel dung..
They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites,or NERDS.
And,lo,the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums,that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer,Brother William of Gates,who bought up every drum maker in the land.And indeed did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates''drum heads and drum sticks.
And Dot did say:Oh,Abraham,what we have started is being taken over by others''.
And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel,or e Bay,as it came to be known.
He said:We need a name that reflects what we are.''
And Dot replied:Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators. ''YAHOO.said Abraham,and because it was Dots idea,they named it YAHOO Dot Com.
Abrahams cousin,Joshua,being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid[GEEK] that he was,soon started using Dots drums to locate things around the countryside.
It soon became known as Gods Own Official Guide to Locating Everything.[GOOGLE]
And that is how it all began..
A revelation with an Incredibly Big Message.[IBM]
In ancient Israel,it came to pass,that a trader by the name of Abraham Com,did take unto himself,a young wife by the name of Dot.And Dot Com was a comely woman,broad of shoulder,and long of leg.Indeed,she was often called Amazon Dot Com.And she said to Abraham,her husband:''Why dost thou travel so far from town to town with thy goods when thou canst trade without even leaving thy tent?''
And Abraham did look at her as though she was several saddle bags short of a camel load,but simply said:''How,dear?''
And Dot replied:''I will place drums in all the towns and drums in between to send messages saying what you have for sale,and they will reply telling you who hath the best price'.
And thesale can be made the drums and delivery made by Uriahs Pony Stable.[UPS]
Abraham thought long and hard and decided to let Dot have her way with the drums.
And the drums rang out and were an immediate success.Abraham sold all the goods he had at a top price,without even having to move from his tent.
To prevent neighbouring countries overhearing what the drums were saying,Dot devised a system that only she and the drummers knew.It was called Must Send Drum Over Sound...[MSDOS],and she also developed a language to transmit ideas and pictures-Hebrew To The People[HTTP].But this secret did arouse envy.
A man called Maccabia did secrete himself inside Abrahams drum and began to siphon off some of Abrahams business.But he was soon discovered,arrested and prosecuted for insider trading.
And the young men did take to Dot Coms trading,as doth the greedy horse fly taketh to camel dung..
They were called Nomadic Ecclesiastical Rich Dominican Sybarites,or NERDS.
And,lo,the land was so feverish with joy at the new riches and the deafening sound of drums,that the real riches were going to that enterprising drum dealer,Brother William of Gates,who bought up every drum maker in the land.And indeed did insist on drums to be made that would work only with Brother Gates''drum heads and drum sticks.
And Dot did say:Oh,Abraham,what we have started is being taken over by others''.
And Abraham looked out over the Bay of Ezekiel,or e Bay,as it came to be known.
He said:We need a name that reflects what we are.''
And Dot replied:Young Ambitious Hebrew Owner Operators. ''YAHOO.said Abraham,and because it was Dots idea,they named it YAHOO Dot Com.
Abrahams cousin,Joshua,being the young Gregarious Energetic Educated Kid[GEEK] that he was,soon started using Dots drums to locate things around the countryside.
It soon became known as Gods Own Official Guide to Locating Everything.[GOOGLE]
And that is how it all began..
Us older people need to learn something new every day just to keep the grey matter tuned up.
Where did "**** Poor" and a few other common terms come from?
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot and then once a day it was taken and sold to the tannery. If you had to do this to survive you were "**** Poor". But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot... they "didn't have a pot to **** in" and were the lowest of the low. The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be.
Here are some facts about the 1500s
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell, brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!"
Houses had thatched roofs (thick straw) piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying, "It's raining cats and dogs."
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how "canopy beds" came into existence.
The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, "Dirt Poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way. Hence: a "thresh hold."
In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme: "Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old".
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat."
Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the "upper crust."
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom; of "holding a wake".
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the "graveyard shift.") to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, "saved by the bell" or was "considered a dead ringer".
Where did "**** Poor" and a few other common terms come from?
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot and then once a day it was taken and sold to the tannery. If you had to do this to survive you were "**** Poor". But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot... they "didn't have a pot to **** in" and were the lowest of the low. The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be.
Here are some facts about the 1500s
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell, brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!"
Houses had thatched roofs (thick straw) piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying, "It's raining cats and dogs."
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how "canopy beds" came into existence.
The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, "Dirt Poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way. Hence: a "thresh hold."
In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme: "Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old".
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat."
Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the "upper crust."
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom; of "holding a wake".
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the "graveyard shift.") to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, "saved by the bell" or was "considered a dead ringer".
<DIR><DIR>Automotive History
<DIR>The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and
developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946, the
temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.
The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked
his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most
exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.
Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They refused and instead
asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.
They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned
on the air conditioner, and cooled the car immediately.
The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office where he
offered them $3 million for the patent.
The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they
wanted the recognition by having a label, 'The Goldberg Air-Conditioner,' on
the dashboard of each car in which it was installed.
Now old man Ford was in no way going to put the Goldberg's name on two
million Fords.
They haggled back and forth for about two hours and finally agreed on $4
million and that just their first names would be shown.
And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show -- Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max
-- on the controls
</DIR></DIR></DIR>
<DIR>The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and
developed the first automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946, the
temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.
The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked
his secretary into telling him that four gentlemen were there with the most
exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.
Henry was curious and invited them into his office. They refused and instead
asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.
They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned
on the air conditioner, and cooled the car immediately.
The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office where he
offered them $3 million for the patent.
The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they
wanted the recognition by having a label, 'The Goldberg Air-Conditioner,' on
the dashboard of each car in which it was installed.
Now old man Ford was in no way going to put the Goldberg's name on two
million Fords.
They haggled back and forth for about two hours and finally agreed on $4
million and that just their first names would be shown.
And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show -- Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max
-- on the controls
</DIR></DIR></DIR>
You should post this to the exotics thread on Huntsville Car Scene:
http://www.huntsvillecarscene.com/sh...2682#post52682
And you should start a 'Willie's Wonderings' thread on Huntsville Car Scene. I LOVE reading all your posts and I'm sure others would too.
Thread Starter
legacy Tms Member
Joined: January 27, 2007
Posts: 4,617
Likes: 175
From: alerbamer
Last edited by HOSS429; Sep 2, 2011 at 04:05 PM.
Thread Starter
legacy Tms Member
Joined: January 27, 2007
Posts: 4,617
Likes: 175
From: alerbamer
dragstrip named Bob Glidden Drive ShareThis
Historic Lucas Oil Raceway dragstrip named Bob Glidden Drive
Sunday, September 04, 2011
<SCRIPT type=text/javascript>var switchTo5x=true;</SCRIPT><SCRIPT type=text/javascript src="http://w.sharethis.com/button/buttons.js"></SCRIPT><SCRIPT type=text/javascript>stLight.options({publisher:'a182b81e-d728-4d28-9660-1bd6d4fe5743'});</SCRIPT>43
5
<TABLE border=1 cellSpacing=1 cellPadding=1 width=400 align=right><TBODY><TR><TD>
Nine-time U.S. Nationals Pro Stock champ Bob Glidden, right, was honored by NHRA and NHRA President Tom Compton as the famed dragstrip at Lucas Oil Raceway was renamed Bob Glidden Drive. </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>NHRA Legend Bob Glidden was honored on Sunday during NHRA’s 60th Anniversary celebration at the Mac Tools U.S. Nationals presented by Lucas Oil as NHRA President Tom Compton announced that the famous dragstrip at Lucas Oil Raceway will now be known as “Bob Glidden Drive.”
Compton presented a plaque to Glidden and unveiled the brand new green street sign that is positioned near the starting line.
“Bob Glidden’s accomplishments at the Mac Tools U.S. Nationals are legendary,” Compton said. “To this day, Bob still holds the record for most wins at this event, the world’s largest and most prestigious drag racing event, and it is only fitting that this hallowed drag strip be aptly named Bob Glidden Drive.”
Glidden won an incredible nine times in the Pro Stock category at the Mac Tools U.S. Nationals, a record that is best among all professional classes. Tony Schumacher and Don Garlits are second, each having won eight times in Top Fuel.
“It’s been a storybook career for me,” said Glidden. “Thank you to all the fans and NHRA and all the support they’ve given us over the years. We owe everything that we have and are to NHRA Drag Racing.”
Glidden’s domination of the Pro Stock category extends well beyond Indianapolis. He won an unprecedented 10 NHRA world championship in 16 years, including five consecutive titles from 1985 to 1989, and amassed 85 national event victories. In the summer of 1978, Glidden won nine straight national events. He also qualified No. 1 at a record 23 consecutive races, including all 14 events in 1987.
Historic Lucas Oil Raceway dragstrip named Bob Glidden Drive
Sunday, September 04, 2011
<SCRIPT type=text/javascript>var switchTo5x=true;</SCRIPT><SCRIPT type=text/javascript src="http://w.sharethis.com/button/buttons.js"></SCRIPT><SCRIPT type=text/javascript>stLight.options({publisher:'a182b81e-d728-4d28-9660-1bd6d4fe5743'});</SCRIPT>43
5
<TABLE border=1 cellSpacing=1 cellPadding=1 width=400 align=right><TBODY><TR><TD>
Nine-time U.S. Nationals Pro Stock champ Bob Glidden, right, was honored by NHRA and NHRA President Tom Compton as the famed dragstrip at Lucas Oil Raceway was renamed Bob Glidden Drive. </TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>NHRA Legend Bob Glidden was honored on Sunday during NHRA’s 60th Anniversary celebration at the Mac Tools U.S. Nationals presented by Lucas Oil as NHRA President Tom Compton announced that the famous dragstrip at Lucas Oil Raceway will now be known as “Bob Glidden Drive.”
Compton presented a plaque to Glidden and unveiled the brand new green street sign that is positioned near the starting line.
“Bob Glidden’s accomplishments at the Mac Tools U.S. Nationals are legendary,” Compton said. “To this day, Bob still holds the record for most wins at this event, the world’s largest and most prestigious drag racing event, and it is only fitting that this hallowed drag strip be aptly named Bob Glidden Drive.”
Glidden won an incredible nine times in the Pro Stock category at the Mac Tools U.S. Nationals, a record that is best among all professional classes. Tony Schumacher and Don Garlits are second, each having won eight times in Top Fuel.
“It’s been a storybook career for me,” said Glidden. “Thank you to all the fans and NHRA and all the support they’ve given us over the years. We owe everything that we have and are to NHRA Drag Racing.”
Glidden’s domination of the Pro Stock category extends well beyond Indianapolis. He won an unprecedented 10 NHRA world championship in 16 years, including five consecutive titles from 1985 to 1989, and amassed 85 national event victories. In the summer of 1978, Glidden won nine straight national events. He also qualified No. 1 at a record 23 consecutive races, including all 14 events in 1987.
Thread Starter
legacy Tms Member
Joined: January 27, 2007
Posts: 4,617
Likes: 175
From: alerbamer
Jack Daniels Fishing Story
I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait. Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.
Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.
A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot. There was that same snake with two more frogs in his mouth. Life is good in the alabama .
I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait. Knowing the snake couldn't bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.
Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.
A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot. There was that same snake with two more frogs in his mouth. Life is good in the alabama .
.. thank goodness
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legacy Tms Member
Joined: January 27, 2007
Posts: 4,617
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From: alerbamer
iv`e been looking at ebay every day all this year .. i`m gunna buy another 69 someday .. it just amazes me how some folks can post parts as fitting a """ BOSS 429 and BOSS 302 and 428 COBRA JET .. """ thinking it will be worth 20 times what it would be if it were listed as the simple sportsroof part it actually is
.. it just amazes me how some folks can post parts as fitting a """ BOSS 429 and BOSS 302 and 428 COBRA JET .. """ thinking it will be worth 20 times what it would be if it were listed as the simple sportsroof part it actually is
Like Father...
I ♥ Sausage
I ♥ Sausage
Joined: April 4, 2007
Posts: 20,164
Likes: 643
From: Just outside the middle of nowhere
iv`e been looking at ebay every day all this year .. i`m gunna buy another 69 someday .. it just amazes me how some folks can post parts as fitting a """ BOSS 429 and BOSS 302 and 428 COBRA JET .. """ thinking it will be worth 20 times what it would be if it were listed as the simple sportsroof part it actually is
.. it just amazes me how some folks can post parts as fitting a """ BOSS 429 and BOSS 302 and 428 COBRA JET .. """ thinking it will be worth 20 times what it would be if it were listed as the simple sportsroof part it actually is
Thread Starter
legacy Tms Member
Joined: January 27, 2007
Posts: 4,617
Likes: 175
From: alerbamer
<DIR>A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss the use of his car. His father said: "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car."
The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it. After about six weeks his father said, "Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut." The boy said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair....and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair." His Dad calmly replied, "Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?'
</DIR>
The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it. After about six weeks his father said, "Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut." The boy said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair....and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair." His Dad calmly replied, "Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?'
</DIR>
Like Father...
I ♥ Sausage
I ♥ Sausage
Joined: April 4, 2007
Posts: 20,164
Likes: 643
From: Just outside the middle of nowhere
Just at first glance, inner headlights gone, marker lights filled in, gas opening filled in, emblems gone, trunk letters gone, back up lights gone,
Last edited by Rather B.Blown; Oct 10, 2011 at 04:53 PM.