random stuff
11/21/11, 08:56 AM
#181
V6 Member
Join Date: June 10, 2011
Location: Huntsville, AL
Posts: 59
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
11/22/11, 01:18 PM
#183
legacy Tms Member
Thread Starter
what`s up with up ?
There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word and that is 'UP.'
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP?
At a meeting, why does a topic come UP?
Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?
We call UP our friends.
And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen.
We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car.
At other times the little word has real special meaning.
People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.
To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.
A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.
We open UP a store in the morning, but we close it UP at night.
We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!
To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary.
In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.
If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used.
It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.
When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP.
When the sun comes out we say it is clearing UP.
When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.
When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP.
One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP for now my time is UP and so it is time to shut UP!
<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com
fficeffice" /><o
> </o>
11/23/11, 03:40 PM
#185
legacy Tms Member
Thread Starter
more werd play you say ..
The bandage was wound around the wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
The bandage was wound around the wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
They were too close to the door to close it.
The buck does funny things when the does are present.
A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear..
I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
11/26/11, 07:01 AM
#186
legacy Tms Member
Thread Starter
now that`s amasing !!
every morning when i`m off work i take a good long walk down a street that follows a winding creek most of its length .. i see all manner of critters most days .. deer , possums, sometimes a flock of turkeys 
.. this morning a little chip monk caught my eye .. he was running back and forth along a tree limb that was hanging a bit over the waters edge about 8 inches high ..as i focused my eyes i could see that there was a small nut sort of like a peanut sitting on the tree limb ..the chip monk finally got enuff courage to go and get the peanut when just about the time he grabbed it a big bass jumped out of the water and swallowed the chip monk ...amasing !!!!
i said to myself ... but even more amasing was that after a minute or so that bass came up out of the water and set another peanut on that limb ...... 
.. this morning a little chip monk caught my eye .. he was running back and forth along a tree limb that was hanging a bit over the waters edge about 8 inches high ..as i focused my eyes i could see that there was a small nut sort of like a peanut sitting on the tree limb ..the chip monk finally got enuff courage to go and get the peanut when just about the time he grabbed it a big bass jumped out of the water and swallowed the chip monk ...amasing !!!! i said to myself ... but even more amasing was that after a minute or so that bass came up out of the water and set another peanut on that limb ......
11/29/11, 02:29 PM
#187
legacy Tms Member
Thread Starter
<DIR>MY TRAVELS
I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots.
Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.
I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.
I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.
I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.
I have also been in Doubt . That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.
I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.
Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.
One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!
And, sometimes I think I am in Vincible but life shows me I am not!
I have been in Deepsh!^ many times; the older I get, the easier it is to get there.
OOOOPS! I think I'm there again..........
</DIR>
I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots.
Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.
I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.
I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.
I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.
I have also been in Doubt . That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.
I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.
Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.
One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!
And, sometimes I think I am in Vincible but life shows me I am not!
I have been in Deepsh!^ many times; the older I get, the easier it is to get there.
OOOOPS! I think I'm there again..........
</DIR>
12/2/11, 10:36 PM
#189
legacy Tms Member
Thread Starter
I did not know this.....
When you drink Vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure
When you drink Rum over ice, it can give you liver failure,
When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems,
When you drink Gin over ice, it can give you brain problems.
Apparently, ice is really bad for you.
Warn all your friends
When you drink Vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure
When you drink Rum over ice, it can give you liver failure,
When you drink whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems,
When you drink Gin over ice, it can give you brain problems.
Apparently, ice is really bad for you.
Warn all your friends
12/3/11, 07:33 AM
#191
legacy Tms Member
Thread Starter
event alert !!! CBI performance warehouse in athens is having their indoor car show today for any of you within a 100 miles or so .. always a good event .. lasts from 8 till 2 pm ..
12/6/11, 03:40 PM
#194
legacy Tms Member
Thread Starter
rant time ...my electric bill ... iv`e thinking for three years that i use very little water and electricity .. now the electric company has changed the way they bill me .. or at least explained if differently .. i wish they had`nt .. i pay a 10 buck minimum regardless of how much water i use .. my bill has never been more that 11 dollars .. i pay 1 dollar for the water i use and 10 dollars for the privilage of having it ...my garbage bill has never been more than 15 bucks .. it`s that whether i have trash or not .. i have trash once a month .. again a privilage fee .. 15 bucks ... my electric bill has never been more than 30 bucks .. 9 bucks of that is a privilage fee .. what a rip .... rant over .. i know ... most of you pay 10 or 30 times more ....
12/14/11, 06:26 PM
#195
legacy Tms Member
Thread Starter
sorry i have`nt posted much lately .. iv`e been having some tests run at the hospital ..
day one i`m lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen mask over my mouth and nose and still heavily sedated from a four hour series of tests. A young nurse appears and sponges my hands and feet. "Nurse", i mumble from behind the mask, "Are my ********* black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your hands and feet". i struggle again to ask, "Nurse, are my ********* black?" Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises my gown, and holding my ***** in one hand and my ********* in her other hand she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them". i finally pull off my oxygen mask and say slowly, "That was very nice, but listen very, very, closely, are...my...test...results...back?"
day one i`m lying in bed in the hospital with an oxygen mask over my mouth and nose and still heavily sedated from a four hour series of tests. A young nurse appears and sponges my hands and feet. "Nurse", i mumble from behind the mask, "Are my ********* black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your hands and feet". i struggle again to ask, "Nurse, are my ********* black?" Finally, she pulls back the covers, raises my gown, and holding my ***** in one hand and my ********* in her other hand she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them". i finally pull off my oxygen mask and say slowly, "That was very nice, but listen very, very, closely, are...my...test...results...back?"
12/21/11, 10:21 AM
#197
legacy Tms Member
Thread Starter
<DIR><DIR><DIR>1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference..
He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out
it was only an optical Aleutian ..
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because
it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking
into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.. One hat said
to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small
medium at large.
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a
seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count
that votes.
19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine .
21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The
stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed
per passenger.'
22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says
'Dam!'
23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in
the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have
your kayak and heat it too.
24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The
other says 'Are you sure?'
The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a
root canal? His goal: to transcend dental medication
</DIR></DIR></DIR>
He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out
it was only an optical Aleutian ..
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because
it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking
into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.. One hat said
to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small
medium at large.
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a
seasoned veteran.
17. A backward poet writes inverse.
18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count
that votes.
19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you'd be in Seine .
21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The
stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed
per passenger.'
22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says
'Dam!'
23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in
the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have
your kayak and heat it too.
24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The
other says 'Are you sure?'
The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'
25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a
root canal? His goal: to transcend dental medication
</DIR></DIR></DIR>
12/22/11, 04:47 PM
#198
legacy Tms Member
Thread Starter
CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE DISTURBED ~
* 1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?
* 2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are.
* 3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas
* 4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me...
* 5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and... Trees and.....
* 6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
* 7. Borderline Personality Disorder ---Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
* 8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why
* 9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?
* 10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
* 1. Schizophrenia --- Do You Hear What I Hear?
* 2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are.
* 3. Dementia --- I Think I'll be Home for Christmas
* 4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me...
* 5. Manic --- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and... Trees and.....
* 6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me
* 7. Borderline Personality Disorder ---Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
* 8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why
* 9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy oooh look at the Froggy - can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?
* 10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells
12/26/11, 06:21 AM
#200
legacy Tms Member
Thread Starter
Twas the night before Christmas and out in the garage, There wasn’t a trace of a Import, Chevy, or Dodge. The presents were wrapped and the lights were all lit, so I figured I’d mess with the mustang a bit. I popped the release and I lifted the hood, When a deep voice behind me said "looks pretty good." Well, as you can imagine, I turned mighty quick, and there, by the workbench, stood good ole Saint Nick!
We stood there a bit, not too sure what to say, and then he said "don’t suppose that you’d trade for my sleigh?" I said "no way, Santa" and started to grin, "but if you’ve got the time we could go for a spin!" His round little mouth all tied up like a bow turned into a smile and he said "Hey, let’s go!!"
So as not to disturb all the neighbors’ retreat. We pushed the mustang quietly to the street. Then taking our places to drift down the hill, I turned on the key and I let the clutch spill. The sound that erupted took him by surprise, but he liked it a lot, by the look in his eyes. With the rear tires a’ crying and mufflers at full roar , we headed down the street with pedal to the floor.
And Santa’s grin widened approaching his ears, with every shift up as I went through the gears. Then he yelled, "Can’t recall when I’ve felt so alive!" So I backed off the gas and said "you wanna drive?" Ole Santa was stunned when I gave him the keys, when he walked past the headlights he shook at the knees!
The engine exploded with thunderous sound! Santa let out the clutch and the tires shook the ground! Power shift into second, again into third! I sat there just watching, at loss for a word. Then I heard him exclaim as we blasted from sight, "Merry Christmas to all, it’s a very good night
We stood there a bit, not too sure what to say, and then he said "don’t suppose that you’d trade for my sleigh?" I said "no way, Santa" and started to grin, "but if you’ve got the time we could go for a spin!" His round little mouth all tied up like a bow turned into a smile and he said "Hey, let’s go!!"
So as not to disturb all the neighbors’ retreat. We pushed the mustang quietly to the street. Then taking our places to drift down the hill, I turned on the key and I let the clutch spill. The sound that erupted took him by surprise, but he liked it a lot, by the look in his eyes. With the rear tires a’ crying and mufflers at full roar , we headed down the street with pedal to the floor.
And Santa’s grin widened approaching his ears, with every shift up as I went through the gears. Then he yelled, "Can’t recall when I’ve felt so alive!" So I backed off the gas and said "you wanna drive?" Ole Santa was stunned when I gave him the keys, when he walked past the headlights he shook at the knees!
The engine exploded with thunderous sound! Santa let out the clutch and the tires shook the ground! Power shift into second, again into third! I sat there just watching, at loss for a word. Then I heard him exclaim as we blasted from sight, "Merry Christmas to all, it’s a very good night