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New CEO
Arcelor-Mittal Steel, feeling it was time for a shakeup, hired a new CEO.
The new boss was determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO noticed a guy leaning against a wall. The room was full of workers and he wanted to let them know that he meant business. He asked the guy, "How much money do you make a week?" A little surprised, the young man looked at him and said, "I make $400 a week. Why?" The CEO said, "Wait right here." He walked back to his office, came back in two minutes, and handed the guy $1,600 in cash and said, "Here's four weeks' pay. Now GET OUT and don't come back." Feeling pretty good about himself, the CEO looked around the room and asked, "Does anyone want to tell me what that goof-ball did here?" From across the room a voice said, "Pizza delivery guy from Domino's :jester: |
oh to be that pizza delivery guy...
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good one!! LOL
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Ricky-Bobby Ricky-Bobby if he didn't run you over !
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Bacon Tree
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says......... "Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. *Ees bacon, I theenk." "Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. " With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon. There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon ... every imaginable kind of cured pork. "Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. *Ees a bacon tree." "Luis, maybe ees a meerage? *We ees in the desert don't *forget." "Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of *a meerage that smell like bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree." And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. *He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. *Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath, "Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!" "Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it? " "Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree. *Ees * Ees * Ees * Ees Ees a ham bush...." |
Disclaimer, I'm half Mexican and my uncle told me this...hope it doesn't offend anyone lol
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I'd laugh publicly... but someone would say I'm racist in this day and age.
So I'll laugh privately. ;) *disclaimer. I was married into a Mexican family for 17+ yrs., so I should be able to laugh publicly! :rolleyes: |
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